fromlonelytogreat Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 My work life is going great. However, I have an almost non-existent social life. I was just looking on facebook at some profiles of friends of 'friends' and noticed that people that I went to school with that were a few years below me have much, much better social lives than me. That is very disheartening and a big blow to my self-esteem. I hate being all alone and want to enjoy myself but I just can't. I just so badly want some friends to go out with on weekends. I just feel like crying. I've never even had a girlfriend. Why me? WHY ME???
Quinch Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I know it's easier said than done but the best advice I can give is to go out and find groups or societies that share a common interest. I was like you a few years ago, I only had two friends on facebook but I forced myself at gunpoint to join a local paranormal group and suddenly I had loads of friends. Okay, a few of them are no longer friends but that's the way it goes sometimes. I never regretted asking. You have to get out and let the world know you're there because they won't turn up on your doorstep asking if you can come out and play. Think of things you enjoy or think you might enjoy and be open minded. Very few people will say no if you ask to join them and they're not worth joining anyway. Like any other relationship or finding a job, friends don't just happen. They take a lot of work. It's up to you to take the first step. Good luck
Geishawhelk Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Facebook....Myspace....Why do people bother? They're shyte, and so many people come on here complaining about who they see with whom, what they're doing, why and how..... fakhmi, what the hell were we doing before mobile phones, ipods, myspace, yourface, casebook, facebook, spacelook, blackberries raspberries and currants were invented - !? meeting people and talking !!*gasp*!! to them in person!! Bring back the 1970's that's all I can say!
beautifulearth83 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Facebook....Myspace....Why do people bother? They're shyte, and so many people come on here complaining about who they see with whom, what they're doing, why and how..... fakhmi, what the hell were we doing before mobile phones, ipods, myspace, yourface, casebook, facebook, spacelook, blackberries raspberries and currants were invented - !? meeting people and talking !!*gasp*!! to them in person!! Bring back the 1970's that's all I can say! I agree, although I use most of these. No regrets with raspberries though.
Shygirl15 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 You have been complaining about loneliness a lot recently and I'm beginning to feel concerned for you. I really don't have much advice unfortunately. Maybe try online dating? Are you new in the town where you live? Also, try to enjoy your own company sometimes. I never seem to run out of things to do when I'm alone at home. Reading, Music, DVDs, cooking etc. I don't need people around me all the time to feel fulfilled.
You'reasian Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 My work life is going great. However, I have an almost non-existent social life. I was just looking on facebook at some profiles of friends of 'friends' and noticed that people that I went to school with that were a few years below me have much, much better social lives than me. That is very disheartening and a big blow to my self-esteem. I hate being all alone and want to enjoy myself but I just can't. I just so badly want some friends to go out with on weekends. I just feel like crying. I've never even had a girlfriend. Why me? WHY ME??? Facebook is not a true picture of one's social life, just an indicator. No reason to be jealous over other's activities - keep on working on yourself, but get involved in activities outside of your work. Join a sports group, a class -etc and learn something new and meet people.
quankanne Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 geishawhelk, Facebook is invaluable (well, at least to me) in that it allows people to find each other – the gang from the college newspaper tried setting up a Google group, but that never really worked out, but I'd say about 1/3 of us are connected through Facebook and it's been pretty cool seeing blips of their lives on a constant basis. And it encourages me to keep in better contact with them, usually via email because sometimes it's just more convenient to contact/reply when you've got a few minutes in the wee hours of the morning. FLTG – you ask, why me? Because you refuse to get your butt into gear and take that step into the unknown by simply going out and making connection with others. I love Quinch's description of how he reached out by joining a paranormal group, because that just shows me that there are like-minded people out there no matter WHAT the subject (well, that and because DH is hooked on those cable shows about paranormal activity). you have to put yourself out there; you've got to be seen and noticed, you've got to make the effort to interact with people. Otherwise you exist in your own little world, and that's not good for you ... or for the people who are otherwise missing out on a potentially good friendship. It's kinda like the saying, it's better to light one candle than curse the darkness. YOU have the power to make this thing turn around, if you only allow yourself to do so. I'll stop nagging now, but know that I'm trying to spur you into being proactive, because I'm pretty sure that you have something great to offer to others if you just give it a shot. Think about what interests you the most, then find a way to turn that interest into a way to meet others who share that interest ... or even try something new.
openbook08 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 GET RID OF IT best thing I ever did keep in touch by phone/email hugs XX
Shygirl15 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Facebook has nothing to do with what he's going through.
Author fromlonelytogreat Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 Why is it that decent people like myself are always the ones that are all alone and sad? I work hard, treat others right etc, yet I have no friends. There's a party at a bar in the city for uni students from my faculty. I'd love to go, but I would have to go alone - I am not confident enough to go to a bar on my own on a Saturday night. Additionally, I graduated last semester and most of the people going appear to be undergraduate students - maybe they won't like me? What should I do?????
openbook08 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 GO!! make today the day for change. expect the unexpected. I think you sound great & if I was at that party Id be happy to talk to ya! God I spent so long at home worrying about going places I ended up going nowhere...fast!! since my break up I decided Im pretty sure Im not gonna meet anyone sittin at home worrying about not meetin anyone so I went out and started doin classes on my own and stuff like that. have made lots of new friends in the process. not always easy but hey what ya gotta lose!! good luck
You'reasian Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Why is it that decent people like myself are always the ones that are all alone and sad? I work hard, treat others right etc, yet I have no friends. There's a party at a bar in the city for uni students from my faculty. I'd love to go, but I would have to go alone - I am not confident enough to go to a bar on my own on a Saturday night. Additionally, I graduated last semester and most of the people going appear to be undergraduate students - maybe they won't like me? What should I do????? I'd say forget about what other people might be thinking and focus more about what you are going to 'do'. If you have no friends, go it alone. Be yourself and do what you enjoy doing.
Adamagnet Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 There's a party at a bar in the city for uni students from my faculty. I'd love to go, but I would have to go alone - I am not confident enough to go to a bar on my own on a Saturday night. Additionally, I graduated last semester and most of the people going appear to be undergraduate students - maybe they won't like me? Why do you have apprehensions about going to the bar alone? Your peers will look up to you and have questions about finals, profs, etc... Perfect mingling opportunity if you ask me. I think I saw someone else quote this here: "You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do. " -David Foster Wallace If you're feeling lonely, rejecting social invitations will only exacerbate it.
Shygirl15 Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 You mean you don't have even a single friend? Gut feeling tells me you'll not answer this question but come up with another rant.
Author fromlonelytogreat Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 You mean you don't have even a single friend? Gut feeling tells me you'll not answer this question but come up with another rant. I do. He isn't willing to go out to places like this - not his scene.
You'reasian Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I do. He isn't willing to go out to places like this - not his scene. I've known fellas that go to bars (by themselves) and slowly over time, end up dating some of the female bartenders and befriending the patrons. Not exactly Cliff Claven or Norm, but you get the idea
wierdmunky Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 You really shouldn't feel depressed about FACEBOOK. That's the thing with facebook and myspace - you can look as good as you want to make yourself, or even better. I know my social life looks way more interesting than it actually is lol. At the moment it's almost non-existent with school and looking for a new job ,but some people don't know that. So, you really shouldn't feel so hard on yourself, I'm sure if you went to ONE party -even a work party- took a few pics (or a lot, and posted only the great ones lol) You'd get those "whoa look who likes to get down...!" comments, who knows, you could even get invites! lol
Ruby Slippers Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Besides, plenty of those people with active, photographable social lives are pretty unhappy beneath the shiny veneer. Going out alone is a great way to meet people. You have to learn to be OK doing whatever you want to do on your own, including going to a bar alone on Saturday night, if you want to truly enjoy it with anyone else.
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