heartandstars Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 so i met this guy over the internet and we really rushed into everything. he lived in Wisconsin and I lived in Texas. After a month love came into the equation, and he moved down to be with me. I found out he had a kid and a marriage that wasent finalized yet so I didnt tell my parents that i was dating him officially until about 2 weeks after he came to Texas when he had been sleeping on the streets or in hotels. I got into a wreck the day he was supposed to meet them and then they found out he didnt have a place to stay when he couldnt give an address. They asked him to stay at the house and everything was fine until he didnt move out until they kicked him out a 2 months later. They found a letter between me and him talking about sexual things and they flipped out and kicked him out. I told them that I was going with him and we moved to washington without telling them until we were halfway here. They see it as I made the worst mistake of my life by being with him. They accepted him the first week but now they dont want me to be with him. And now they are always talking badly about each other. Who should I follow? And why dont they like him anymore?
jason83 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Sounds to me as though this entire thing has been rushed. He didn't come completely clean about kids, marriage, etc. and then when he moved down he's living on the streets at times? Is this really someone you want to be with? Boys come and go but family is forever. Those are your parents and you're not getting any others. You're very lucky to have a family that loves you and cares about you. Don't hurt them by turning your back on your own blood.
Author heartandstars Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 How old are you? i am 20 years old
Author heartandstars Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 Sounds to me as though this entire thing has been rushed. He didn't come completely clean about kids, marriage, etc. and then when he moved down he's living on the streets at times? Is this really someone you want to be with? Boys come and go but family is forever. Those are your parents and you're not getting any others. You're very lucky to have a family that loves you and cares about you. Don't hurt them by turning your back on your own blood. how do you know if something is forever
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 When I was 22, I was torn between a man that I loved and my family that hated him because of his relationship history. I chose the man. Looking back, it's not like I would have altogether forgotten him because my family wanted me to. But I would have tried to work harder to communicate with my family about the situation. I was married to him for 4 years. I DO regret, however, leaving my whole life behind to be with him. I know there's no way with "love" being in the equation to think that being in a LDR is a viable option...but it is. I missed out on so much because I dropped my life to be with him. I wish so hard I had not done that. Rushing is something I cannot contemplate ever doing again - ESPECIALLY when the guy has a sketchy history as yours does and as mine did. Mine ended in heartbreak and divorce. Now I'm working on enjoying what's left of my 20's. Please don't toss your family aside. I know you're young and you see what is making you feel the best in this moment - "love." But you will regret it on down the road if you cut out your family. I had my family out of my life for a whole year - NC whatsoever. I can't say just leave your guy because since I WAS you, I know you won't. But just exercise EXTREME caution, please? And try your hardest to bridge the gap with your family - they only have your best interests in mind. And keep in mind also that no matter how different you may be from your family (I'm the black sheep), they have known you your whole life and this guy just met you. You're already deep into this since you've dropped everything to go be with him in Washington. But if I were able to reach a reasonable part of you anywhere, I would tell you to go back home and pace things a little bit slower with this guy. Once again, though - because I was you - I know you won't listen to this.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 As for why they didn't like him anymore after finding the sexual letter.... Are you kidding? Not many parents enjoy the thought of their child as a sexual creature. But I know it can be especially more disturbing when it's with a man like this - dishonest about his past with you, already a broken marriage (how old is he?), obviously didn't have a job if he was living on the streets and left his whole life in Wisconsin to be with you. Not exactly a promising suitor...probably not the kind of man they imagined their daughter would end up with. Are you an only child? Or their only daughter? Either of those could also make the situation more disturbing.
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