BubblyPopcorn Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I think for the most part, most people would agree that EVERYONE judges from the onset and even within an existing relationship be it friend, family, etc. I am a female, but if I were to date a man who I had found out slept with dozens of women, part of me would judge him and part of me would be turned off. I’ve judged my own cousin, she is younger but she has been with twice as many men as I have. She has judged me for certain things as well that she does not understand nor agree with. We judge someone when we do not understand, when our views, beliefs and thoughts don't coincide or if/when they are beyond the realms of what we are “comfortable” with. If someone is too rigid, they are viewed as having a God Complex mentality. If someone is too open-minded, they are viewed as not being in touch with reality. If someone is too rigid, they are closed off and mistrusting. If someone is too open minded, they are overly trusting and become too free and willing with their choices. As for the OP, remaining a Virgin until she is married is what she is comfortable with and she has to be comfortable within her own skin. But part of that is also knowing herself and sometimes people gain a clearer knowledge of that when they allow themselves to have an open mind. Part of that would be appear for the OP, coming to an open forum for input as well as giving her own two cents.
Green Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 As for the OP, remaining a Virgin until she is married is what she is comfortable with and she has to be comfortable within her own skin. But part of that is also knowing herself and sometimes people gain a clearer knowledge of that when they allow themselves to have an open mind. Part of that would be appear for the OP, coming to an open forum for input as well as giving her own two cents. The OP is more then just a virgin, she has never been in a relationship of any kind with a guy. Shes like a person who has never driven a car say she'll always drive 5 below the speed limit... I'd have more respect for her if she was in a committed relationship or if she had been in one and hadn't made out or done all the other things she claims she refuses to do
BubblyPopcorn Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 The OP is more then just a virgin, she has never been in a relationship of any kind with a guy. Shes like a person who has never driven a car say she'll always drive 5 below the speed limit... I'd have more respect for her if she was in a committed relationship or if she had been in one and hadn't made out or done all the other things she claims she refuses to do Well it seems the OP envisions the EXACT type of partner she will marry based on someone who has the EXACT same mentality and principles as her own and she envisions what their life together will be like or should be like, including their sexual relationship with each other. She said she and her husband will already have complete trust prior to marriage without physical contact as part of the equation. The OP views sex as an "accessory", that you don't "really need it" and that she will have that same mindset when she is married as so will her husband. It's good that she has other ways to explore with her husband how to maintain their relationship without sex, but I'm not sure how two people share complete intimacy and trust with one other, without sex as part of the equation between them.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I know a guy who was applying for a job in a Central American country. He put at the bottom of his resume activities/interests: Reading, writing, surfing, tea-bagging, volunteering, animal rights He thought the person reading the resume wouldn't know what it was, so he thought it would be funny. Turns out the woman hiring was American, and she did not find it to be funny at all! He didn't get the job. Sorry for the thread hijack. Back to the OP... It is your prerogative to do whatever you want with your virginity. Use it, lose it, whatever. I'm curious, though, why you have posted this thread? You seem to be absolutely unwavering in your conviction, so what advice are you looking for?
cybersister Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I know a few people who married their first partner, after having sex. One said, she wished she had had more expereince - how could she be sure she was doing it right ? another had a fling 10 years in to make up for the fact she had not played the field earlier. My sister, a committed Christian waited until marriage to find out that her husband had not waited for marraige out of respect but actually was not able to cope with the intimacy of sex and thus my sister is sadly childless. I suspect the lower divorce rate is mroe to do with the fact that those who wait are more religious rather than happier.
shylight200 Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Did you guys hear about the couple that never kissed until they were married? That is a bit extreme to me. But I kinda agree with the waiting until marriage thing. I think it's nice to wait until the right person came along
gd26 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 The dividing line is common sense. I never said anything about counting the people I've slept with on my finger or toes. If someone has slept with a large amount of people, it shows lack of self control, self confidence, self respect, and possibilities for many health issues. I find this a bit judgmental though. You look down upon a girl who has 22 partners because you've had less than 10. Well I am still a virgin, so by my standards... should I disrespect you for not having any self control or self respect? It's just a matter of perspective. I recently cared for a man my age who has had around 16 partners in the past. Yes it was hard in the beginning to accept, but I realized that in order to love him, I had to accept him for who he was. I know he's changed though, as he's been celibate for the last couple of years now. All this was in his past, and I respect him for who he is today. He's a great guy with a lot of self control... but the past is the past. So try not to judge. It's better to just understand people and where they come from... especially when we aren't so perfect either.
BubblyPopcorn Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Did you guys hear about the couple that never kissed until they were married? That is a bit extreme to me. But I kinda agree with the waiting until marriage thing. I think it's nice to wait until the right person came along That was interesting, I cracked up though at the end when the news anchor got up and left because he couldn't stand listening to the rubbish
Author MissTiger Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Not kissing until marriage is a little extreme even for me. But that's how far I'd go anyway when it comes to dating. Kissing, holding hands, and a few embraces is all my boyfriends will get.
vanilla87 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 What is "normal sex" to you? I'm curious. T-bagging: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=t-bagging That's about all I know on it. I don't see the point of it. Perhaps a male could share that. I'm a female and to me normal sex is the basic sex positions, basic oral techniques, and basic touches with the hand (i.e.-hand jobs, fingering, etc...) Kinky is anything that is bondge with latex or hot candles being poured on you or having your hair pulled while being rammed hard from behind or even anal. Usually anything similar is considered kinky. Everyone is different, but for me kinky is a good thing sometimes, helps you find out what you like and don't like once you have tried it, that means even a little handcuffing might be a good thing, may help spice up the sex life in the bedroom, especially if the sex is bad. But from past experience, guys are more opened minded and like doing some really kinky stuff. And when woman don't really do it, at first it won't bug 'em out of respect for the woman, but if it goes through the entire relationship or marriage, a guy will get very frustrated in the bedroom and will look else where or end up being angry at her. So my best guess, try being a little open minded, to some stuff, just cause it sounds weird or if you've never actually tried, doesn't mean you won't like it, trust me. Its that saying parents have: "How do you know you don't like it? You haven't even tried it..."
Ross PK Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Not kissing until marriage is a little extreme even for me. Lol! Man, not kissing until marrige just sounds crazy.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 They dated for 3 YEARS without so much as a kiss. That is just the most bizarre thing to me. What if one of them was a terrible kisser? Oh well, I guess it just wasn't that important. Weird.
Author MissTiger Posted December 17, 2008 Author Posted December 17, 2008 is overrated....I am sorry to say that. I was a virgin when I married my husband...i thought i was very special, i thought he valued the fact that nobody came before him.....but he didn't and and most men do not care whether a woman is a virgin or not when they get together.....to mso of then it is a non-issue. I hate to burst your bubble, but you do not have to be a virgin to find a good man --- and it is just dumb to be sleeping around....so find a balance. He should've cared that you were a virgin and men should care that women are virgins. 1
berrieh Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 He should've cared that you were a virgin and men should care that women are virgins. Why? You continue to say this, yet I haven't seen a logical argument for why.
Nemo Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 What if one of them was a terrible kisser? Why don't people take education seriously these days?! Learning isn't only for school. Education is a lifelong journey. If one sees somebody who's not up to scratch, then you need to get those lips into gear. Yes, teach them! And don't forget your tongue.
ABrokenWing Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 in for later. I will hopefully get a chance to read this all tomm and respond.
Author MissTiger Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 Why? You continue to say this, yet I haven't seen a logical argument for why. Why? Because her husband should've seen that she wanted him to be her first and only, and he didn't see how special she really was. As for men in general, they should appreciate the fact that there are women are virgins because it shows that they are willing and wanting to wait for that special guy to come along and/or want him to be that special guy.
Author MissTiger Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 Bottom line virginity is something not to be taken lightly and should be given lots of thought if a person it wanting to loose it. He or she should mak a list of the pros and cons of loosing their virginity.
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