Gremio Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 If I truly love someone and marry him, then I care more about him than his sexual performance. I'll take him for whatever he is... it's okay by me. I don't need to test him out first. Everyone has their own viewpoints and none of us are going to change that. I can only give my own opinion. I am a mid 20s male. And I will start off by saying I love sex. I will say proudly though that I prefer to wait to have sex with someone I truly care for. I don't believe in one nights stand or sex just for the hell of it. I view it is a deep bond between two people. Call it whatever you may, but I am the type who would feel more connected to someone after we had sex. Having sex before marriage is not "testing" anything. You are giving yourself to each other. You are becoming closer as a couple. Everyone also uses analogies such as "you test drive a car first", etc. but think about it. You are swearing that for the rest of your life your husband is the one and only. After you're married, how in the world do you know how you will truly feel? This is now and that is then. You may be very disappointed that you waited so many years and were let down. Based on your beliefs, you are saying that you will adjust and make yourself happy, but it doesn't just work like that. You could very well end up unsatisfied and since your beliefs are strong, you may be miserable for the next 60 years of your life. Communication, trust, intimacy, sex, all of these and much more are components of a strong relationship. You shouldn't base your marriage solely on waiting for sex.
vanilla87 Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Based on your beliefs, you are saying that you will adjust and make yourself happy, but it doesn't just work like that. You could very well end up unsatisfied and since your beliefs are strong, you may be miserable for the next 60 years of your life. Communication, trust, intimacy, sex, all of these and much more are components of a strong relationship. You shouldn't base your marriage solely on waiting for sex. I completely agree to your answer on here! Sex is a huge piece of what makes a couple stronger, because of the bonding that goes on during the act of making love. See sex is about not adding emotions, making love is building love with someone. I think thats the one mistake people make when accurately trying to describe what they do in the bedroom with someone. Sex is usually done by people that are hooking-up, doing fwb, one night stands, etc... Making love is done by people that are in a strong bond of love with one another and thats usually people in very committed relationships or married.
Author MissTiger Posted December 14, 2008 Author Posted December 14, 2008 Everyone has their own viewpoints and none of us are going to change that. I can only give my own opinion. I am a mid 20s male. And I will start off by saying I love sex. I will say proudly though that I prefer to wait to have sex with someone I truly care for. I don't believe in one nights stand or sex just for the hell of it. I view it is a deep bond between two people. Call it whatever you may, but I am the type who would feel more connected to someone after we had sex. Having sex before marriage is not "testing" anything. You are giving yourself to each other. You are becoming closer as a couple. Everyone also uses analogies such as "you test drive a car first", etc. but think about it. You are swearing that for the rest of your life your husband is the one and only. After you're married, how in the world do you know how you will truly feel? This is now and that is then. You may be very disappointed that you waited so many years and were let down. Based on your beliefs, you are saying that you will adjust and make yourself happy, but it doesn't just work like that. You could very well end up unsatisfied and since your beliefs are strong, you may be miserable for the next 60 years of your life. Communication, trust, intimacy, sex, all of these and much more are components of a strong relationship. You shouldn't base your marriage solely on waiting for sex. My husband and I will already have communucation, trust, and the other things when we're dating and decide to become engaged. The intimacy and sex come after the wedding. I'm marrying him for the love we would share. I have to agree with gd26 though, I wouldn't carte about my husbands sexual preformance. Like I said before, sex is kind of an accessory, you really don't need it. We'd probably have sex when we just want kids. I don't think I need sex for just plain pleasure in a marriage. There are other things that he and I can do, like take a walk in the park, have a picnic, go out to dinner besides having sex.
norajane Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I have to agree with gd26 though, I wouldn't carte about my husbands sexual preformance. Like I said before, sex is kind of an accessory, you really don't need it.We'd probably have sex when we just want kids. I don't think I need sex for just plain pleasure in a marriage. There are other things that he and I can do, like take a walk in the park, have a picnic, go out to dinner besides having sex. I realize you're young...you will be in for a rude awakening if you really feel this way. You are not AT ALL taking into account what your husband will want when it comes to sex and its importance in your relationship. Men WANT sex a LOT more often that just for having kids. Good sex is VITAL to a marriage. It will break up your marriage faster than pretty much anything else if you rarely have sex with your husband. Hopefully, you will find that you want it too. If not, your marriage is toast.
IrishCarBomb Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I wouldn't carte about my husbands sexual preformance. But would you care about his sexual needs?
desertmoon Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 is overrated....I am sorry to say that. I was a virgin when I married my husband...i thought i was very special, i thought he valued the fact that nobody came before him.....but he didn't and and most men do not care whether a woman is a virgin or not when they get together.....to mso of then it is a non-issue. I hate to burst your bubble, but you do not have to be a virgin to find a good man --- and it is just dumb to be sleeping around....so find a balance.
blazkowicz Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 is overrated....I am sorry to say that. I was a virgin when I married my husband...i thought i was very special, i thought he valued the fact that nobody came before him.....but he didn't and and most men do not care whether a woman is a virgin or not when they get together.....to mso of then it is a non-issue. I hate to burst your bubble, but you do not have to be a virgin to find a good man --- and it is just dumb to be sleeping around....so find a balance. this post has really changed my mind... i don't think i'll save myself for marriage. =/
Gremio Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 this post has really changed my mind... i don't think i'll save myself for marriage. =/ desert is right. There is a fine line. I for one would be somewhat hesitant if I found out a woman is a virgin but on the opposite side if I know a woman around my age (mid 20s) had many partners, that is an absolute turnoff to me... actually disgusts me.
Green Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 desert is right. There is a fine line. I for one would be somewhat hesitant if I found out a woman is a virgin but on the opposite side if I know a woman around my age (mid 20s) had many partners, that is an absolute turnoff to me... actually disgusts me. whats many partners? if a (mid 20s) as you put it had 11 is that many?
Author MissTiger Posted December 14, 2008 Author Posted December 14, 2008 But would you care about his sexual needs? Yea, all he has to do is tell or ask me what he wants and I'll work on it to see what he likes and doesn't like.
Green Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Yea, all he has to do is tell or ask me what he wants and I'll work on it to see what he likes and doesn't like. so if I was your husband would you swallow my seed? and seriously I'm curious would you let a guy T-bag you if he was your husband?
CandyGirlXO Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I'm curious would you let a guy T-bag you if he was your husband? LOL you are bad! She is a V, she probably doesn't know what that means.
Crazy.S Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I don't agree with you. Sex is very important and it is not overrated. I am not saying that it is ok to be a slut, but if someone wants to be one, that's up to them. You should at least experience it, because who wants to have bad sex for a honeymoon? And since it is so overrated, why do you care so much about it to save it for you husband? Again I am not advocating being a slut. Whatever you do make sure to have save sex. Sex is one of the best things about being alive. *what if you find out he has a deformed or stinky penis?
Gremio Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 whats many partners? if a (mid 20s) as you put it had 11 is that many? It is very subjective. I have had sex with less than ten women and would like to stay under double digits. I do love sex though. I can only give you an example: Last year I was in a conversation with a girl friend that I had known for a few years. The subject of sex came up and we talked about our sexual histories. She told me she had slept with 22 men at that point in her life, and she was 24 at the time. I didn't say anything but in my mind I was disgusted.
Green Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 It is very subjective. I have had sex with less than ten women and would like to stay under double digits. I do love sex though. I can only give you an example: Last year I was in a conversation with a girl friend that I had known for a few years. The subject of sex came up and we talked about our sexual histories. She told me she had slept with 22 men at that point in her life, and she was 24 at the time. I didn't say anything but in my mind I was disgusted. I try not to judge people. For me a good relationship is like magic you don't know why you like the person so much all you can do is keep asking yourself why am I so into this person
Gremio Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I try not to judge people. For me a good relationship is like magic you don't know why you like the person so much all you can do is keep asking yourself why am I so into this person I absolutely judge people. It may very well be because I am deeply intellectual. I read into many things and have studied human behavior and psychology. I could give countless examples of things, but just one for now: When that friend told me she was with 22 people at the age of 24, the first thing that came to mind is she is easy. She gives it up to any guy who even feigns interest, then they disappear. That shows to me she doesn't respect herself. (me judging her, and IMO rightfully so). Then I think of the other aspects of many sexual partners, I.E. STDs, and that just makes me . To this day, I no longer speak to her. She cannot even contact me as I did not give her my new phone number. Since that talk almost two years ago, I did become closer to her and realized her issues. She is bipolar and exceptionally clingy. I understand why the guys disappeared on her. She was sexually active too soon, became very clingy, and they left her. She was even recently engaged... she was in love, wouldn't stop talking about him, then not too long after some of those comments we were talking at 3am and I was told things like 'I want to kill him, maim him, etc". So yes, I do judge people. To this day, I have never been wrong. P.S. To add to this. Recently I met someone who in their "past life" had a drug habit. She seemed very genuine, sincere, and we clicked emotionally. In my eyes, she was beautiful inside and out. Do you know what just happened? She moved away to a city three hours away to live with a known drug addict, out of the blue AFAIK. See what happened when I didn't judge someone? (which was on of the very few times I didn't and let my gaurd down)
Trimmer Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 It is very subjective. I have had sex with less than ten women and would like to stay under double digits. I do love sex though. I can only give you an example: Last year I was in a conversation with a girl friend that I had known for a few years. The subject of sex came up and we talked about our sexual histories. She told me she had slept with 22 men at that point in her life, and she was 24 at the time. I didn't say anything but in my mind I was disgusted. So where's the dividing line? "Double digits?" 10 or more? I wonder if human beings had evolved with 8 or 12 fingers, if you would feel differently. I absolutely judge people. It may very well be because I am deeply intellectual. I read into many things and have studied human behavior and psychology. That reminds me of a local dance recital I attended, where the credits for the teacher said something like "she grew up here and took ballet at our school, and has now returned to us after studying dance in New York..." It made me think this was a nice way to say she tried living in NY and once things went bad and she was reduced to stripping for a living, she moved back. So yes, I do judge people. To this day, I have never been wrong. OK, so "never been wrong." Keep that in mind for just a moment here... Recently I met someone who in their "past life" had a drug habit. She seemed very genuine, sincere, and we clicked emotionally. In my eyes, she was beautiful inside and out. Do you know what just happened? She moved away to a city three hours away to live with a known drug addict, out of the blue AFAIK. See what happened when I didn't judge someone? (which was on of the very few times I didn't and let my gaurd down) So from "I absolutely judge people, and I've never been wrong," we swing over to "I misjudged someone, so I'll claim that I let my guard down, and therefore didn't actually judge her, so I've still never been wrong." Intellectual, perhaps but intellectually honest?
Ross PK Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 ...and I'm proud of it. Sex is overrated and I see my virginity as a rare and precious gift, like a diamond. I want my husband to be the only lover I'll ever know. I want my husband to be a virgin as well. I'd be disappointed if he didn't wait for me,our marriage bed would be pretty "crowded" if you know what I mean. Any virgins here agree with me? And is there anybody who doesn't? I'm a virgin and I really don't see how it's a 'gift'. If it's a gift, why lose it at all? I also don't see the problem of knowing your partner has had other sexual partners before you. It's natural.
berrieh Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Yea, all he has to do is tell or ask me what he wants and I'll work on it to see what he likes and doesn't like. What if he wants a woman who's into sex and values it as a part of the relationship? In my experience, most men in love want to be desired by the woman they love. Sure, they want sex, but they actually want mutually connected sex with a partner who's into it. They don't just some sort of traditional lady robot who does what she's told in bed in exchange for a ring... and really only sees sex for having kids. Then again, you and I probably aren't going to be dating in the same pool of men. So, maybe you'll find a guy with a Madonna/Whore complex who has difficulty getting it up for you, except to pump out a kid or two, and develops a porn/hooker/strip club/cheating habit to work out the "Whore" side of that complex on the side.
Gremio Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 OK, so "never been wrong." Keep that in mind for just a moment here... So from "I absolutely judge people, and I've never been wrong," we swing over to "I misjudged someone, so I'll claim that I let my guard down, and therefore didn't actually judge her, so I've still never been wrong." Intellectual, perhaps but intellectually honest? When I speak of judging someone, I mean in regards to not giving them a chance based on their past. With this one person, I let their past slide. I didn't judge their current character based on it, and it bit me in the ass.
Author MissTiger Posted December 14, 2008 Author Posted December 14, 2008 so if I was your husband would you swallow my seed? and seriously I'm curious would you let a guy T-bag you if he was your husband? Um no, I'm sorry, but there would be a limit on your requests as well. There's a line between 'normal' sex and being kinky. I'd like to stay on the 'normal' side thakn you very much. And what is T-bagging?
berrieh Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Um no, I'm sorry, but there would be a limit on your requests as well. There's a line between 'normal' sex and being kinky. I'd like to stay on the 'normal' side thakn you very much. And what is T-bagging? What is "normal sex" to you? I'm curious. T-bagging: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=t-bagging That's about all I know on it. I don't see the point of it. Perhaps a male could share that.
Gremio Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 So where's the dividing line? "Double digits?" 10 or more? I wonder if human beings had evolved with 8 or 12 fingers, if you would feel differently. The dividing line is common sense. I never said anything about counting the people I've slept with on my finger or toes. If someone has slept with a large amount of people, it shows lack of self control, self confidence, self respect, and possibilities for many health issues.
Gremio Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 What is "normal sex" to you? I'm curious. T-bagging: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=t-bagging That's about all I know on it. I don't see the point of it. Perhaps a male could share that. "t-bagging" is absolutely out there and NOT normal. Hell, I haven't seen seen it in porn. As far as performing oral on your partner/husband and swallowing, that is absolutely normal.
berrieh Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 "t-bagging" is absolutely out there and NOT normal. Hell, I haven't seen seen it in porn. As far as performing oral on your partner/husband and swallowing, that is absolutely normal. Agree that T-bagging isn't "normal" but oral seemed pretty un-kinky to me (she seemed to be reacting to swallowing since she didn't know what T-bagging was). There are WAY kinkier things than T-bagging, though. I knew a couple that was into soiling... ::shudder:: And, ironically, that couple had only ever had sex with each other. Not sure if they're still together, but they were HS sweethearts and virgins when they met.
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