I'm a Virgin...

[Trimmer]

Congratulations to you MissTiger. I can imagine this isn't easy - but you are taking a difficult, yet honorable path.

 

Most individuals will have some sex experience in their background, though and that's to be expected. If you found the right person, whom wasn't a virgin, would you consider letting them be the one?

Good question, given that she's firmly committed to her views, and she said this...

I want my husband to be a virgin as well. I'd be disappointed if he didn't wait for me,our marriage bed would be pretty "crowded" if you know what I mean.

 

Note: I'll say again, while this was not my path, nor would I change that if I could go back in time, I'm not taking issue with her decision, or trying to convince her she should think or do otherwise. More power to her if this is what she wants and she has the courage, strength, and patience to hold to her convictions. I would love to hear, in 5 or 10 or 15 years, that it all worked out great for her.

[BrooklynBridge]

Another thing you have to think about is this...

 

If you have a reference point, could you truly be objective of the man who loves you if you know that his sex is different from another person's style? Could you really not think about how someone else does something to make your toes tingle?

 

Let me give you another peace of my history to illustrate this... Between the 4 women I dated that I had sex with, the 1 night stand, and the 4 prostitutes I had. I would prefer to have a wife who knew how to have sex like the prostitutes. Why? Because they did things to me and allowed me to do things to them that the other 5 would not. So, while the sex with them was great, I still could not put completely out of my mind some of the things I would like these non-prostitute women to do with me. Is that fair on them, am I really accepting them for who they are without comparing them? No.

 

It is like have 5 people cook you spaghetti and meat sauce, but your reference for the greatest tasting spaghetti and meat sauce dish is how mom use to make it. 5 different are going to cook it according to how they know how to cook it and you are going to get 5 different flavors, and while you appreciate it and gobble it up something fierce, some where in your mind you are going to be thinking, its still isn't like mom's. This is why I just don't eat anyone elses' chitterlings than from my family. My family knows how to do it just right.

 

And this is the same concept with sex, relationships, or what have you. Without a reference point, we can't really have a bias opinion or unfair judgment of others or their skills.

 

How old are you out of curiosity?

[Brimstone_Angel]

How old are you out of curiosity?

 

I'm 38. Just long enough to have gained the I am trying to share with the OP and those like the OP. I also have a love of parables as you can see.

[V.Vixen]

1)I DO commend you for sticking to your beliefs, but you should respect that not everyone will agree with that. I am one who would disagree. My sexual experiences have taught me a lot, and I am glad that I have had them.

2) Sex is not overrated. I don't give it out easily, but it is a VERY important thing to me. I am not ashamed of being a sexual person, and find nothing about it overrated. Some non-vigins might think it is overrated, but some of us fin it to be very worth it. lol

[InLimbo2]

Comparing is bad. I don't want to compare anything, why would I want to? That's what the different sex books are for, to inprove your sex life. I don't want to hear my friends and others rave about their sex lives. For the new lovers that you had did you love them?

 

No, comparing isn't inherently bad. Judging one against another as partners or people can be disastrous - but knowing good sex from bad sex is not bad. Some of my lovers I was in love with - some wasn't sure until the relationship ran it's course. I can separate love and sex - many women can't - many women wish they could. You have this flowery glowy view of sex that just isn't reality. It's not like in the movies.

 

I'd rather wake up next to the man I'll be married to for the next 50 years instead of a man that I've only know for 5 days, weeks, or months. It's not like he and I will always be in one position forever.

 

The man you HOPE you're married to for 50 years. I'd rather wake up next to my SO every morning for next 50 years (doubt we'll live that long tho!). But we also went into it having some real life experience with sex and relationships

[InLimbo2]

The only non-virgins who think sex is overrated are the ones having bad sex

 

1)I DO commend you for sticking to your beliefs, but you should respect that not everyone will agree with that. I am one who would disagree. My sexual experiences have taught me a lot, and I am glad that I have had them.

2) Sex is not overrated. I don't give it out easily, but it is a VERY important thing to me. I am not ashamed of being a sexual person, and find nothing about it overrated. Some non-vigins might think it is overrated, but some of us fin it to be very worth it. lol

[Brimstone_Angel]

The only non-virgins who think sex is overrated are the ones having bad sex

 

I've had nothing but good to great sex. Someone who has had sex in so many places, so many positions, and with some interesting people. My next to last gf had two threesomes with her best female friend (we really enjoyed that). And I have enjoyed sex with every last single partner I was with.

 

So, what would you have to say for those like me?

[InLimbo2]

That you have some deep seated psych/emotional issue with your behavior and so you're trying to create a false reality of being a virgin.

 

 

I've had nothing but good to great sex. Someone who has had sex in so many places, so many positions, and with some interesting people. My next to last gf had two threesomes with her best female friend (we really enjoyed that). And I have enjoyed sex with every last single partner I was with.

 

So, what would you have to say for those like me?

[Brimstone_Angel]

That you have some deep seated psych/emotional issue with your behavior and so you're trying to create a false reality of being a virgin.

 

And still you don't understand the concept. Oh well, I explained it to the best of my ability. Some people get I guess, and some don't.

 

Yes I do have a problem. I betrayed my belief. And professionals in these things say it is understandable and not a problem. Now if I were to continue in my fornication, then, yes I would cause myself a problem because I am going against what I know is right for me.

[Brimstone_Angel]

That you have some deep seated psych/emotional issue with your behavior and so you're trying to create a false reality of being a virgin.

 

And still you don't understand the concept. Oh well, I explained it to the best of my ability. Some people get I guess, and some don't.

 

Yes I do have a problem. I betrayed my belief. And professionals in these things say it is understandable and not a problem. Now if I were to continue in my fornication, then, yes I would cause myself a problem because I am going against what I know is right for me.

 

And this is what the OP needs to understand. If that belief is strong within her. Don't betray it. Only she can determine what is best for her and how to proceed with her sex life. And if she thinks she no sex before marriage is best for her, then she should go for it. She isn't missing out on anything.

[InLimbo2]

And still you don't understand the concept. Oh well, I explained it to the best of my ability. Some people get I guess, and some don't.

 

No, you don't understand that I 'get' the concept, I just know it to be a bunch of bull created by denial.

 

Yes I do have a problem. I betrayed my belief. And professionals in these things say it is understandable and not a problem.

 

You can find a professional to say anything you want them to say - heck, look at politics!

 

 

Now if I were to continue in my fornication, then, yes I would cause myself a problem because I am going against what I know is right for me.

 

Ok, I buy that - because you've already had the experience and are making a judgment call for yourself based on EXPERIENCE. OP has had none

 

And this is what the OP needs to understand. If that belief is strong within her. Don't betray it. Only she can determine what is best for her and how to proceed with her sex life. And if she thinks she no sex before marriage is best for her, then she should go for it.

 

True - everyone has to make their own decisions. But one should do so with some knowledge - even just posting here - in some way she's looking for validation of her beliefs - and if all she hears is people like you - she's just getting a predetermined opinion. Instead she gets to hear viewpoints from many people. If you are so completely sure of your POV that nobody should have sex before marriage you wouldn't be so uptight about people giving the opposing viewpoint.

 

She isn't missing out on anything.

 

That's your opinion, isn't the majority opinion - not even the majority on this thread. I truly do feel sorry for you that you think sex is overrated and that to not have sex is not missing out on anything. I think it's one of the most wonderful things in life - and to be blunt - there ain't no other feeling like a fantastic powerful orgasm from a partner that knows how to get you there

[Brimstone_Angel]

It is very wonderful, I agree with you on that. But people put TOO much stock in it. It IS NOT the make all or break all of a relationship. Because one part of a person's fornication isn't making them happy, they dump their partner. Oh, lets not keep them because they are great in everything else. If a person's worth is based on how they have sex, or how much money they have, or if they gained weight, and other superficial matters, then maybe people should just be alone.

 

And sweet, let me tell you something, I have had women give me multiple orgasms. I have had synchronized orgasms. Hell, I have had women keep me at the peek without going over. I have done things that only few have even imagined. I even wrote a paper on it and my English teacher shared it with others throughout the college I attended. Classmates had me make copies of my paper and after they tried some of the things I suggested, they thanked me. This is not bragging, this is the things I have experienced. So, don't feel sorry for me. I appreciate sex for all it means. But, now I have gained enlightenment of why I wanted to wait. I never really wanted to do these things with women who only wanted to be a temporary or wound up being a temporary part of my life. So, now I save these skills and experiences for the only true woman who deserves my experiences (I remember one woman who I had her make me stop because her toes were hurting from being curled in orgasm for so long), she who bears my last name and wear my ring on her finger.

 

And maybe I should correct myself. SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS HIGHLY OVERRATED FOR THOSE WITH A DIFFERENT WAY IN LOVE AND SEX. Sex before marriage is NOT for everyone. And she should know this. And one does NOT need to put their finger in a light socket do discover it is not for them. The same with sex. It does NOT take loosing one's beliefs and virginity to determine if sex before marriage isn't for them.

 

And of course you can believe whatever you want. Heck, didn't a lot of smart people from England believe the Earth was flat? There were scholars, learned people, and the experts of the time believed the Earth was the center of the universe. So, yeah, you can believe it is bull crap all you want. It does not mean the Earth is not round and that the Earth and the planets of this galaxies do resolve around the sun.

 

Well, I have not read a professional or heard it from a pastor or psychiatrist yet that I am wrong. So, this is minute.

 

About my experience and the OP's lack there of...Would you like to go to experience what it is like to get your leg bitten off by a shark or would you take a victim of such an incident's advice about it? Did your parents just let you run wild or did the give you some advice from their lives and experiences so that you did not make the same mistakes they did in certain areas in their lives? And did you not for a lot of those words of wisdom avoided it without having to experience them first hand?

 

Answer me this, if I majority of the people told you to jump off the bridge and one lone person told you not to jump because it is not safe, especially since he jumped off the bridge and knew it, would you jump because the majority told you so? The same concept here. Just because the majority say they are right does not make it so. Think about how many people became hurt, pregnant, diseased, or even all there because majority of the people say?

 

And your right, there is nothing like a good orgasm. But, for people like me and possibly the OP, it is not just the physical that brings about the orgasm, but also the spiritual and emtional sense of freedom that being that open brings one. And that is why sex with some many partners is bad for many, it is because they bond. This is why we think about old lovers, even when we are with a new one sometimes. They are imprinted on and in us. When I was in the brig a visiting follower of Christianity told us a story about one of the couples he counseled (no he did not use names, but discussed the case). The woman felt like her husband was cheating on her. She would have dreams about her and her husband being in bed and there were all these women around her. What was happening was this, the man admitted he sometimes remember things he saw in porn or did with an old flame (these things were imprinted on him). These women were tied to him and when he wanted something his wife would not give him, he'd fantasize and his wife picked on this. So, while he WAS NOT cheating physically or really emotionally with anyone else, because of the spiritual ties he had with these other women, he'd impose them over his wife and have sex with them.

 

Sorry about going out of order. But, this is my stance. It is said with forethought. With sincerity. And everything is based on facts and experiences. Your side is noted and understood, accepted, no, but noted and understood.

[InLimbo2]

Dude - you come up with the oddest and non-relevant analogies - first it's spaghetti now it's shark attack?

 

Please - a basic component of a personal relationship - a romantic one - is attraction - to each other - and people reject others for a host of reasons - a guy that's into BBW won't be attracted to a skinny chick - it just is. You want to make a mountain out of a molehill - it isn't about their 'worth' - it's just about what you find attractive.

 

Yeah yeah yeah - ya list all this stuff and about how great you are in bed - DUH - doesn't that in itself tell you something? So you think you're a hot lover - and will ring your wife's bell - great - how the hell you think you got there? EXPERIENCE Besides - from your own beliefs and statements - you are no longer worthy of a great virtuous virgin. Oops - I guess that's where this idea you can regain your virginity comes in - how convenient.

 

I didn't say she should go against her beliefs - I said I think her beliefs are a bit whacked - as are yours.

 

Yeah, civilization advances. At one time folks thought the world was flat. And at one time no chick could make a decent marriage if she wasn't a virgin - women were property - and were expected to be virgins but the men were not. Then came the liberation of women, birth control, and it leveled the playing field. Some men couldn't deal with that and some still can't.

 

Yeah, sex with someone you love forever is outta this world - emotion with sex is great - but that doesn't mean that plain ole sex and orgasm without 'love' isn't great too - or that it's bad. Seriously - you can have some greato ones with love never entering the equation. You said so yourself in your list of accomplishments.

 

Good lord - when I'm with my man and having a toe curling orgasm I don't think at all about any other lover - I don't think period. As for this 'imprints on him' - 'bonds with him' - 'spiritual ties' - what a crock - if a guy is with his current woman and he thinks bout some chick that rang his bell with a particular act - it's not cheating - and it's not cuz there's some deep spiritual bond that imprints on him - IT RANG HIS BELL - that's all.

 

And my side is based on facts and experiences too. Your's is noted - but definitely understood as from someone who's had tons of sex - great sex evidently - and now is tryin to convince everyone else that it's the wrong way to go - guess you gotta find you that virgin bride somehow. I wonder how any woman like OP would look at you with all your experience - or how they could find you worthy of their 'most precious gift'

 

 

It is very wonderful, I agree with you on that. But people put TOO much stock in it. It IS NOT the make all or break all of a relationship. Because one part of a person's fornication isn't making them happy, they dump their partner. Oh, lets not keep them because they are great in everything else. If a person's worth is based on how they have sex, or how much money they have, or if they gained weight, and other superficial matters, then maybe people should just be alone.

 

And sweet, let me tell you something, I have had women give me multiple orgasms. I have had synchronized orgasms. Hell, I have had women keep me at the peek without going over. I have done things that only few have even imagined. I even wrote a paper on it and my English teacher shared it with others throughout the college I attended. Classmates had me make copies of my paper and after they tried some of the things I suggested, they thanked me. This is not bragging, this is the things I have experienced. So, don't feel sorry for me. I appreciate sex for all it means. But, now I have gained enlightenment of why I wanted to wait. I never really wanted to do these things with women who only wanted to be a temporary or wound up being a temporary part of my life. So, now I save these skills and experiences for the only true woman who deserves my experiences (I remember one woman who I had her make me stop because her toes were hurting from being curled in orgasm for so long), she who bears my last name and wear my ring on her finger.

 

And maybe I should correct myself. SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS HIGHLY OVERRATED FOR THOSE WITH A DIFFERENT WAY IN LOVE AND SEX. Sex before marriage is NOT for everyone. And she should know this. And one does NOT need to put their finger in a light socket do discover it is not for them. The same with sex. It does NOT take loosing one's beliefs and virginity to determine if sex before marriage isn't for them.

 

And of course you can believe whatever you want. Heck, didn't a lot of smart people from England believe the Earth was flat? There were scholars, learned people, and the experts of the time believed the Earth was the center of the universe. So, yeah, you can believe it is bull crap all you want. It does not mean the Earth is not round and that the Earth and the planets of this galaxies do resolve around the sun.

 

Well, I have not read a professional or heard it from a pastor or psychiatrist yet that I am wrong. So, this is minute.

 

About my experience and the OP's lack there of...Would you like to go to experience what it is like to get your leg bitten off by a shark or would you take a victim of such an incident's advice about it? Did your parents just let you run wild or did the give you some advice from their lives and experiences so that you did not make the same mistakes they did in certain areas in their lives? And did you not for a lot of those words of wisdom avoided it without having to experience them first hand?

 

Answer me this, if I majority of the people told you to jump off the bridge and one lone person told you not to jump because it is not safe, especially since he jumped off the bridge and knew it, would you jump because the majority told you so? The same concept here. Just because the majority say they are right does not make it so. Think about how many people became hurt, pregnant, diseased, or even all there because majority of the people say?

 

And your right, there is nothing like a good orgasm. But, for people like me and possibly the OP, it is not just the physical that brings about the orgasm, but also the spiritual and emtional sense of freedom that being that open brings one. And that is why sex with some many partners is bad for many, it is because they bond. This is why we think about old lovers, even when we are with a new one sometimes. They are imprinted on and in us. When I was in the brig a visiting follower of Christianity told us a story about one of the couples he counseled (no he did not use names, but discussed the case). The woman felt like her husband was cheating on her. She would have dreams about her and her husband being in bed and there were all these women around her. What was happening was this, the man admitted he sometimes remember things he saw in porn or did with an old flame (these things were imprinted on him). These women were tied to him and when he wanted something his wife would not give him, he'd fantasize and his wife picked on this. So, while he WAS NOT cheating physically or really emotionally with anyone else, because of the spiritual ties he had with these other women, he'd impose them over his wife and have sex with them.

 

Sorry about going out of order. But, this is my stance. It is said with forethought. With sincerity. And everything is based on facts and experiences. Your side is noted and understood, accepted, no, but noted and understood.

[MusicChick24]

I agree with you except not in such extreme terms. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and we are 18. He believes in waiting until marriage or atleast engagement and I believe in whenever we are "ready". However I have no problem with his desire to wait. I don't have a "need" for sex. Just being with him keeps me happy. But if the issue of losing my virginity was to arise I would want it to be to him, and no one else because I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

 

<3

[Shygirl15]

I, for one, don't even see the point of this thread. So you're a virgin and determined to stay that way till you find a virgin husband, good for you and goodluck in finding one. Other than that, what else do you expect us to do???

[Brimstone_Angel]

OP just think well before you make a choice on what you do with your sex life. And that is all that matters. What is right for you is right for you. And there are plenty of men looking for virgin women. And plenty of women looking for virgin men. Some (like my last ex) will not care if you are a virgin or not. What is most important is that you know what you want, why you want it, and don't betray it. Come to terms with your choice and know that you are not making a mistake. The worst mistake you can do is betray your belief.

 

Love is never about luck. It is about mutual respect and sharing. And there is someone out here in this great big world for everyone. So, don't ever despair in that.

[InLimbo2]

If you look at her very first post, I'd say she's having doubts, and is looking for validation to either stick with her original premise, or to change it. If she were totally 100% sure of her decision, she wouldn't be asking for opposing viewpoints.

 

 

Any virgins here agree with me? And is there anybody who doesn't?

 

 

I, for one, don't even see the point of this thread. So you're a virgin and determined to stay that way till you find a virgin husband, good for you and goodluck in finding one. Other than that, what else do you expect us to do???

[Brimstone_Angel]

I agree she does sound confused. As was I when in love the first time and decided to just let myself go. And now I wish I hadn't. And so, my view is this. Maybe just giving in and following everyone else because it is the popular thought and way isn't the best or right way for everyone. And that their is no shame in staying a virgin until one is married. Especially if you have a faith that supports that belief.

[Shygirl15]

You probably missed this post. She's nowhere near confused.

I'm not willing to do any of that stuff before marriage; no handjob, no bj's no nothing. It's not right. I want to deal with the heavy emotions the right way and that's in my marriage. For those of you who say I'll have a crappy sex life, I disagree because I don't want to compare my husband to somebody else. I'll never wonder what it would be like to have sex with another man,becaue I'll be with the right man.

 

I've never dated. What you just listed above is somewhat a breach of virginity. Fondling and "heavy petting" leads to sex so my limits would be simple and that would be, only holding hands and kissing;like a light peck on the lips and that's it. I'd never be in a room alone with him. My nude body is for my husband's eyes only. Bottom line.

[MN randomguy]

I, for one, don't even see the point of this thread. So you're a virgin and determined to stay that way till you find a virgin husband, good for you and goodluck in finding one. Other than that, what else do you expect us to do???

 

What if someone had a different lifestyle than MissTiger. If a gay person went to the internet looking for support from fellow gays would people be so negative about it?

 

What if MissTiger wanted to give a holler to other Vegans.

 

 

...and I'm proud of it......

 

Any virgins here agree with me?

 

+1

 

I don't have the same definition as you. But I am as far as not doing the actual deed, expected to be married by now. Its hard work, really hoping sex isn't overrated:cool:

 

But, yeah, its hard as a guy. We have different societal expectations. Yes, I know what everyone's thinking, but, no there are a few women I could call tonight if I wanted to loose it.

 

I don't think a male virgin is as respected as a female with her V card.

 

I would definitely prefer a virgin. They're a rare find. Two of my best friends waited as did their wives, and have two of the best marriages of people my age that I know. Its a lot easier to trust your spouse when you know they can resist their urges.

[MN randomguy]

And so, my view is this. Maybe just giving in and following everyone else because it is the popular thought and way isn't the best or right way for everyone.

 

Let me remove any doubt,

 

popularity is a terrible reason to do anything.

[MN randomguy]

Sounds like the OP puts a high value on lasting relationships, she also doesn't want surprises form whatever a guy may or may not have caught from prostitutes.

[Golden M0RTE]

...and I'm proud of it. Sex is overrated and I see my virginity as a rare and precious gift, like a diamond. I want my husband to be the only lover I'll ever know. I want my husband to be a virgin as well. I'd be disappointed if he didn't wait for me,our marriage bed would be pretty "crowded" if you know what I mean.

 

Any virgins here agree with me? And is there anybody who doesn't?

 

 

 

 

Im glad you Proud Of Your Virginity. I Guess All People Today Can Think About Is Sex And Who They Can Do And For How Long No Love Just Action. Those People Make Me Sick. Well I Try To Get To Know PeopleAnd I Never Try To Rush It That Quick I Dont Mind The Wait. Hey Guys Its Better Than losing It All Over The Computer Key Board. What A Waste. So Im Not Saying I Agree But Good For You I Hope You Find The Right Guy!!

 

GM

[RecordProducer]

Sex overrated?! I think you're overrating marriage, your "diamond," and your future partner. Sadly, you're under-rating life by missing on love. The chances for you to find Mr. Right with zero experience are very slim.

IMO you are actually putting quite a bit of importance on when it is done...

Agreed.

[norajane]

If people want to remain virgins until they are ready to have sex, and don't expect to be ready until they are married, that's fine with me. It's a personal choice.

 

Some of the reasoning behind it troubles me, particularly when virginity is used as a measure of a woman's worth and value, as though she is spoiled or damaged goods once she's no longer a virgin. It troubles me even more when the proponents of women's viriginity = worth, don't apply the same standard to men.