MissTiger Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 ...and I'm proud of it. Sex is overrated and I see my virginity as a rare and precious gift, like a diamond. I want my husband to be the only lover I'll ever know. I want my husband to be a virgin as well. I'd be disappointed if he didn't wait for me,our marriage bed would be pretty "crowded" if you know what I mean. Any virgins here agree with me? And is there anybody who doesn't? Link to post Share on other sites
Jez_UK Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I'm not a virgin but I applaud you for sticking by what you believe in Link to post Share on other sites
zhsoj Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Don't agree with you. Sure, sex is probably over-rated. I don't put that much importance on it. IMO you are actually putting quite a bit of importance on when it is done... Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I don't agree with you. Maybe you and your future husband will not get along in bed. You will never know what an orgasm is Link to post Share on other sites
CandyGirlXO Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I don't agree with you. Maybe you and your future husband will not get along in bed. You will never know what an orgasm is I agree...sex is so different with every person. Just curious how old are you? I like the saying you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first would you? Link to post Share on other sites
Jez_UK Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Virgin brides are less likely to divorce. It's something like 80% marriages work for virgin brides, and 50% for non virgin brides. Hence the importance on sex is misplaced according to the stats. Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 You're free to believe whatever you chose to, it's a free world. As for me I have long stopped being a virgin, lost it when I was 19 to my b/f now I'm 21 and still with him. But unlike you, while he was my first, I wasn't his first but is still working out so far. No when I was still a virgin I didn't believe in waiting till marriage, rather I went for doing it when you're ready and with someone you love. But like you, I would want to stay with my first and hopefully we'll get marry as soon as he comes to my country. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissTiger Posted November 20, 2008 Author Share Posted November 20, 2008 I agree...sex is so different with every person. Just curious how old are you? I like the saying you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first would you? I'm 20, sorry for not saying that. I would know what car I wanted so I don't need to test drive it. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I completely respect your right to have that opinion and feel strongly about it and stick to it. Having said that, it's not the course I chose, and I don't regret my choices. Sex is overrated How could you possibly know? Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelybird Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Good for you, Misstiger Heart and mind is the ultimate sexual organ. Loving human isn't like using a car Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Loving human isn't like using a car Actually it is because you would never trade it for no one. You know what they say about cars, to treat it as if it was your girl (or man), it's yours not someone else's. Thus you commit to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jez_UK Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 How could you possibly know? What a ridiculous question! You look at the evidence and you make your own mind up. You don't need first hand experience to formulate a belief on something. But seeing as it's "sex" you're willing to put it into a different category from other beliefs human beings rationally make their mind up over. That's your flaw in logic, not hers. I suspect using heroin would make you technically more clued up about heroin, but you're not going to do that anytime soon so that you can claim to know that it's not good for you are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelybird Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Few people have real love, most of them are pragmatism. Maybe that's why so high divorce rate is today. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 What a ridiculous question! You look at the evidence and you make your own mind up. You don't need first hand experience to formulate a belief on something. But seeing as it's "sex" you're willing to put it into a different category from other beliefs human beings rationally make their mind up over. That's your flaw in logic, not hers. I suspect using heroin would make you technically more clued up about heroin, but you're not going to do that anytime soon so that you can claim to know that it's not good for you are you? Relax there, and don't put words - or mismatched analogies - into my mouth. As I pointed out in my post, I wasn't taking issue with her decision or her reasons for making it, any more than I would take issue with someone who decided not to take heroin on the basis of watching and gathering evidence "from the outside." However, I was specifically interested in her opinion (and preconception) that "sex is overrated." Every use of this phrase I've ever known implies that the hype of something doesn't match up to its reality, once it's been experienced. The whole point of this phrase is to juxtapose hype with experience - marketing vs. reality, if you will... Go ahead and have whatever opinions you want, based on whatever evidence you can find, on the importance (or not) of sex in a relationship, how premarital sex damages society (or doesn't), and all that. I'm not taking issue with that. And hey, with that attitude and expectation going in, the OP may very well find that sex doesn't live up to its hype - lots of people do. I just don't see how she can reach the conclusion for herself that "sex is overrated" until she's experienced it. Link to post Share on other sites
InLimbo2 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Tho I think what you do is your business - you state something right off the bat that flaws your logic 'sex is overrated'. You can't possibly know it's overrated if you've never had it - sorry, requires actual experience to make that determination. Once you have some actual experience, you may decide it's overrated - but that very well might be sexual incompatibility with the partner you chose, or just because he can't please you physically. You'll either never know because they are your only one, you'll be dissatisfied but not know why, or live a life of bad sex because you trapped yourself into this. Sometimes sex is just bad - doesn't work with a particular partner; to find that out after you married them - disaster. There is a reason that sexual drive is second only to the survival instinct - yes, it's that important. Is it the most important? Or only important aspect of a relationship? no - but don't kid yourself that it's not important. Sex is like air - you never really notice and it's not a big concern - til you're not getting any, or what you're getting is bad quality. Sex is FANTASTIC with someone you are compatible with, it's INDESCRIBABLE when it's also someone you love. I'd like to see some objective source for other posters "virgins don't divorce as much" - sounds like religious propaganda. I think virgins rush into marriage cuz they've set this boundary for themselves - no sex til marriage - and they're horny but can't do anything about it until married - so they get married. Jessica Simpson comes to mind. ...and I'm proud of it. Sex is overrated and I see my virginity as a rare and precious gift, like a diamond. I want my husband to be the only lover I'll ever know. I want my husband to be a virgin as well. I'd be disappointed if he didn't wait for me,our marriage bed would be pretty "crowded" if you know what I mean. Any virgins here agree with me? And is there anybody who doesn't? Link to post Share on other sites
BrooklynBridge Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Sex is only overrated for those who don't actually have any....... Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I want my husband to be the only lover I'll ever know. Good for you, if that's how you've decided your life to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Jez_UK Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Tho I think what you do is your business - you state something right off the bat that flaws your logic 'sex is overrated'. You can't possibly know it's overrated if you've never had it- sorry, requires actual experience to make that determination. Sometimes sex is just bad - doesn't work with a particular partner; to find that out after you married them - disaster. I guess you've been a virgin bride then? - otherwise how could you possibly know unless you've been in that situation? It seems your partial knowledge is acceptable but not hers. You say her logic is flawed, but yet according to epistemology your assertion is much as a belief as hers. So yet, while you say she can't make a determination from lack of experience, you seem to be able to. I'd like to know how that works. That said - I'll give you the objective knowledge that you're seeking which is in peer reviewed journals - this is not propaganda, it's common knowledge which is much stronger than your own assesrtions. Pre-marital sex created "a considerably higher risk of marital disruption than women who were virgin brides." - Joan R. Kahn and Kathryn A. London, "Premarital Sex and the Risk of Divorce," Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53 (1991): 845-855 And to go further - "Children raised apart from both of their biological parents were twice as likely to drop out of school with girls twice as likely to get divorced" - Larry L. Bumpass and James A. Sweet. 1995. "Cohabitation, Marriage and Union Stability: Preliminary Findings from NSFH2." NSFH Working Paper No. 65. Center for Demography and Ecology: University of Wisconsin-Madison. Therefore according to these independent sources pre-marital sex results in a higer risk of an instable marriage and indirectly increases the risk that your child will drop out of school. Objectively: If you rate sex higher than your childs welfare and a stable family environment, then no, sex isn't over-rated - but one has to question your fitness the purpose for child rearing if you rate sexual pleasure above the stability of a marriage and health of a child. And those are according to independent stats which equates to common knowledge rather than belief which according to the epistemic logic that you're a fan of using to make your argument, ironically makes your argument significantly weaker than hers. Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I can't help but LOL when a simple subject turns into stats, report quotes and too much analysis. Eh. Some of these things just need basic common sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Jez_UK Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I can't help but LOL when a simple subject turns into stats, report quotes and too much analysis. Eh. Some of these things just need basic common sense. Common sense is commonly wrong, so I LOL at that. Common sense will tell you that the earth is flat - Common knowledge will tell you that it is round Common sense will tell you that pre-marital sex is healthy - Common knowledge will tell you that it is not Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 ...and I'm proud of it. Sex is overrated and I see my virginity as a rare and precious gift, like a diamond. I want my husband to be the only lover I'll ever know. I want my husband to be a virgin as well. I'd be disappointed if he didn't wait for me,our marriage bed would be pretty "crowded" if you know what I mean. Any virgins here agree with me? And is there anybody who doesn't? :confused:Oh, okay, good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
oceangrl Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Common sense will tell you that the earth is flat - Common knowledge will tell you that it is round Common sense is not commonly wrong....its only wrong when you're stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
Jez_UK Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Common sense is not commonly wrong....its only wrong when you're stupid. And you know this from.... common sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 You should try and get married soon. I'm curious are you open to hanjobs, bj's, getting naked... or anal... if so I'm curious which you have done, or are willing to do before marriage Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Common sense is commonly wrong, so I LOL at that. Common sense is anything but. Common sense will tell you that the earth is flat - Common knowledge will tell you that it is round Ignorance tells you the former. Education will tell you the latter. Common sense will tell you that pre-marital sex is healthy - Common knowledge will tell you that it is not Religious education (some might say indoctrination) will tell you premarital sex is unhealthy. Being human, and a mammal, will tell you marriage is a humanly-invented institution, and is not necessary or relevant for a sex life to be unhealthy or anything else, for that matter. Fidelity is uncommon in mammals, we invented it, broadly speaking. So whether sex is healthy, or unhealthy, maritally, premaritally or otherwise, is academic. Link to post Share on other sites
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