Numb

[taylor3205]

Well its been a long hard road, havent been on here for quite a while. Ive finally accepted and got over the fact my 10 year relationship is over (after nearly a year). While I am 90% over it (still get the odd time, I sit and pine) I just feel kinda numb when it comes to relationships and things.

 

Im really not that interested in another relationship of any kind, while it would be nice to have someone special in my life that gave me everything that my ex did and maybe more, I just have no motivation to make or want it to happen. Its strange, because I think I would like it to happen, yet when any opportunity comes along, I dont pursue it and just close off. I guess Im just not ready, I think it would just hurt me too much. I dont know if I ever will be, and thats kind of sad and scary really. I havent got that deep heartbroken feeling all the time anymore and some days Im quite happy, things are looking up, my business is starting to become very successful, Ive got friends, nice place to live, supportive family, Im in quite a good position. I just feel kinda numb though, you know, nothing really excites me anymore, I guess I still have baggage. I just dont want to be like this for years. Wish I could do something, to completely 100% get over it.

 

I mean I met someone other day, really nice, really interested, wanted to go on a date, gave my ego a boost anyway lol. I actually did feel really good...for a while, but I just cant do it. I guess Im not as over it as I like to think I am

[lofi_tokyo]

I'm guessing things between your ex and you did not work out on the whole LDR end?

 

Well, either way, its good to hear you are mostly healed. I'd like to think I am too, but I have a secret fear I'm just kidding myself... I hope I'm not!

 

Anyways, I always wanted to date other men, I thought about it A LOT before breaking up with my ex (which is probably in itself, a good reason for us breaking up). But... now that I am finally free? We'll... my ex left me for another woman, and it hurt me. I'd love to love again, but honestly I do not think I'm ready!

 

Now, my ex and I only dated 2.5yrs, and the last lets say... three months of us dating was completely blah. We broke up three months ago now, and I'm mostly healed. I can't compare my story to yours, I did not lose a super long term man, I need less time to heal than you do.

 

But... we'll both love again. The good news is you WANT to love again. Even if its not working out right now, the fact that you have desire to move on shows that you will. Thats important. That means you are far ahead of anyone holding onto their ex for dear life.

 

Give it more time. Grieving a 10 year relationship for one year, though excruciatingly long I imagine, is not necessarily enough time. When your heart is ready, you'll know, and you'll find a good man.

[replicator]

Ten years here, and about 7 months since the break up. When people told me it would take possibly years to get over it, I didn't want to believe them but I guess it's true.. Having spent so much time with one person, it isn't easy to forget and just move on. Also, you become more guarded as you realize that even the things that seem so sure and certain can fall apart.

 

I also tried to date after the split because I knew she was with someone else, and to prove to myself that I can attract someone else, but once I knew I could have them, it made me feel even worse. I just ended up causing more trouble for myself, and realizing that romance is out of the question. It would be a relationship built on my neediness, and to satisfy my ego.

 

Hang in there. I'm sure with time, the both of us, will have moved on to a better place. Regardless of what the future holds, we can be certain that we'll be stronger and wiser for our experience.