Girlfriend cheated: Emotionally I am done with her but should I stay just for the sex

[silenthill]

Ok this is pretty long, but I would appreciate if you guys read through the whole thing.

 

Basically I've been going out with this girl for a year and a half. She is my first real girlfriend, first person I've banged, etc. I saw warning signs from the beginning when she told me about her past. She has had 4 boyfriends and has cheated on every single one of them. She was with this one guy for 3 years and cheated on him about 10 times. Her excuse was that he was a drug addict who didn't even give a sh*t. So right from the get go I had my reservations but I continued to date her because I need experience. I don't regret it one bit. I feel soooo much more confident around women.

 

I must of had sex with her over 300 times so I feel good in that department. I was able to get her off like you wouldn't believe. Flash forward to June of this year. Friday night she tells me she is going out with some friends from work. I say ok that's cool. Monday night she confesses. Instead of going out with people from work, she went out on a date with a 30 year old lesbian paramedic. I was very angry. Considered breaking up with her right there. She swears she will never do it again. 2 days later she confesses that the text she sent the other night that I asked her about, wasn't to a friend; it was to the girl. And to top it all off in nice fashion, she was going to her apartment that night to watch a movie. Again I was ticked off like you wouldn't believe. She was trying to reassure me that nothing would happen. She got me to believe her. Big mistake.

 

Last week she confesses that she actually kissed that girl. And she met up with her one more time about a month ago. I asked her what else she has been keeping from me. She says that she called an ex for an interview for a school project. But hasn't talked to him in weeks. She also was at some guys house she knew with a friend about 2 weeks prior. The morning after she was there she told me that they "just watched a movie". Well I come to find out that they were drinking, she gave her female friend a toppless back massage. The guy there that she knows gave her one and was grabbing her ass and thighs and she didn't do a thing to stop him. She also gave him a back massage but only on the back. She also told me she lied about a lot of small stuff. Stuff that didn't even matter. After I heard this I was confrontational and we talked about it. I left that night. She left about 4 texts that I didn't respond to. The next day she calls; basically I end up going over that night, "forgiving her" then f*ck her twice. We have a fun friday night as well. Last night I thought about it and decided why am I putting myself through this crap. So I texted her "(her name) listen i cant do this anymore. I can't be with someone I can't trust. I leave your key under you doormat".

 

She texts back with "are you sure" then "i don't want this to end please pick up when I call" she calls I don't pick up. I get out of work and head over, she's waiting outside. I open the window, hand her the key then say "i really didn't want it to be this way". She knocks my window with a sad look on her face but I drive off. She calls and texts non stop. I turn off my phone and when I get home and turn it back on, there are about 15 txts. Stuff like "im so sorry" "ill never do it again" " i love u" actually they where longer than that but you get the jist. She also texts that she thought one day we would be married. (i had a good laugh over this one, i would never ever dream of marrying her, even before she cheated). She left 3 voicemails just sobbing. I ignored all her calls and haven't made any contact since I drove off. She called me again this morning and I ignored it. Now here is my question. I know if I stay with her she will most likely cheat again. She is that type. But on the other hand, I'd rather her kiss a girl than a guy.

 

Now let me give you guys some significant info about myself. I am just as bad as her. I cheated on her with another girl. It was some 17 year old at a party. We made out and I was feeling her up. This was about 8 months in the relationship. The sad thing is, is that I did not even feel bad about it. The main reason I did it was because I knew about her past and decided to do it before she did it to me. I have also had phone sex with some chick online. I have lied to her about sooooooooo many things about my past. I to lied about the small stuff. I even lied about what I had for breakfast one morning. I am always keeping my options open. If some girl made an advance on me I would take it. I always thought of my girlfriend as someone to be with till I found someone better. No don't get me wrong, I loved this girl so much. She meant a lot to me and I do have a lot of fun with her. I don't have many friends so she was like my best friend to.

 

I was at a Halloween party and was flirting with a ton of girls. Even got some chicks number that was really into me. I texted her the next few days and had a date set up for Friday. She was really excited to go and I had full plans on making a move on her. Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend of 3 years. She’s 18. Now I did all of this stuff before I found out that she kissed this girl. So the big question is should I stay with this girl, just to hang out with and have sex with till I find another? The only reasons I see for not doing it is; I do have strong emotions for her and her cheating hurt. Also if I've got sex on tap I don't think I'll be as motivated to find someone else. Anything she tells me I will percieve as a lie. Her words don't mean sh*t to me. I'm going to activly go to clubs and my coworker knows some girls that he will introduce me to. As soon as I start dating someone else, I'm dropping her like she's hot. But one things for sure; I 100% do not trust this girl at all. What would you guys do?

 

sorry for the typos, I typed this fast

[SushiX]

It doesn't sound like you're emotionally over her dude. If she's cool with having sex with you then why not. Just don't be offended if she suddenly stop sleeping with you.

[tinogrrl]

I agree with sushi... It doesn't sound like you are completely emotionally detached from this girl. But if you feel you are capable of keeping her in your life as a f*ck buddy till someone else better comes along, then go for it. Just as long as you realize that is probably her intention as well.

[Geishawhelk]

You two guys really do need to stick together through thick and thin.

It's far better you just make 2 people miserable, as opposed to 4 or more.

 

I'm sorry.... do people not have morals any more....?

[tinogrrl]

No trust = no relationship.

 

He said himself that he does not trust her, so IMO there is no future with this person.

[SoulSearch_CO]

Wooowww...this sounds HEALTHY.

 

I think it's time to get away from her. Sounds to me like you can find "sex on tap" from just about anywhere - why keep someone around that was supposed to be committed to you but just couldn't? Besides - I agree that if you keep her in your life, you won't be motivated to find anything new. 15 years on down the road...still screwing the loose one...ah, what the hell - let's get married but keep it an open marriage. Man...I don't know if you'll even be CAPABLE of a healthy relationship after this one. On second thought, maybe I agree with Geisha - just stick around rather than taking your poor lying/cheating habits into a new relationship and hurting somebody.