ConfusedAtHome Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Hi everyone, My partner and I of 3 years just recently broke up. This was more of her idea than mine, but I cannot push her to work on something that she apparently doesn't want to work. We own a home together and are still in that same house, but sleeping separately and keeping our distance until that situation can be rectified. She has been somewhat affectionate towards me (hugs, kiss on the cheek), which is confusing for me. However, I have been strong and not reciprocated the affection nor have I initiated it. We are otherwise NC. I have my moments of sadness, but overall I feel pretty good. Is this normal? I realize the difficult road ahead of when she moves out and the finality that it brings, but I feel like I'm doing pretty well. I have really tried to let the affection not get to me because I do still care for her, but I don't know her intentions with that. Is she just trying to comfort me? Having second thoughts? I'm not sure. Sorry for rambling...that's how your mind goes when you are in the midst of a break-up.
Peter_pan Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 comfort, same thing happened to me, then she got a new guy and she wouldn't let me touch her or anything at all. horrible feeling feel for you mate i really do so yeah seems normal from where im sitting
wowIlose Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Dont let her be affectionate towards you. The second she decided to break up with you she lost that privilege. Every time you let her kiss you, or hug you then you are disrespecting yourself and easing her transition period as she continues to emotionally detach from you. I am not saying for you to be rude and mean or for you to act like an *******. But simply tell her that you would like to no longer be kissed or hugged since your no longer a couple. Be nice, calm, cool and collected. The quicker you start to move on the better. If she notices this she may reconsider her decision. The funny thing with break ups is that the person who appears to be moving on quicker usually has all the control. Fake it till you make it if you must. If she doesn't come back at least you got an early start to living a happier life. Remember, you are no longer her emotional support. Do not let her disrespect you further. Good luck.
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