openbook08 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 My story has been posted to death! (apologies again Im new to the virtual world!!) anyway.. its been just a little over a month NC (after a Summer of him messing with my head and feelings - initial breakup was June) but I just had enough I was doin NC but he always managed to worm his way back in! so I blocked his emails, deleted my facebook, changed my no. & started my life as the new me. still have sad days but he messed me around so much & has a new girlf so quickly, I keep reminding myself that its no loss. so this mornin as Im drivin to work - had to pull in for petrol - I see him drivin towards me (first time since the TOTAL NC - doin pretty well seein as we both live in the same tiny town!) get into a bit of a panic but decide to do what he'll least expect so I flash my lights smile & wave, he looks shocked but happy smiles & waves back. So I pull into station & as Im fillin the petrol I look over my shoulder to see him runnin towards me he gets to me says nothin hugs me so tight...I just start laughin & say - youll be late for work(he was already late & he was def gonna miss his train by comin back) - he says somethin like I know I just had to see you or hug you - or somethin like that...then he kisses my cheek & runs off, I see hes got some make up on his suit so I tell him laughing (used to be a funny joke with us) he just smiles & winks. anyway as Im waiting in the shop to pay I look out the window & hes pulled up & is smiling & waving, when I respond he pulls off!! I dont know how to feel. . . Dont worry I know I dont want him back I know hes not right for me.He should not be doin stuff like this if hes got a new girlf (also wrote me a letter about 3wks ago but I didnt read it as Im determined to move on, asked my Mam to & destroy it. she did. plus the only reason I blocked ething was the week I found out about new girlf was the week he was ringin everyday, wantin to see me, do stuff together...) But dam that hug...if I couldve frozen time!!!It was like we'd never broken up(even tho I know its absolutely not right for us to be together right now).I thought I was a lot further "over" this than I feel now. I feel giddy. ya thats the word giddy. sorry so long...my friends always tease me about my longwinded stories!!
Peter_pan Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 god i know what you mean. i remember my last hug with the ex i felt at home. and that feeling will always stay with me. sorry to hear bout your situation. i dont get people these days makes me upset. i was clearly to naive about my ex. i thought she was something she wasnt i guess. and her true colours came out at the end
Author openbook08 Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 thanks Peter Pan... just caught up with your situation. sorry youre going through this too. I dunno how you do the icon (sure Im pure clueless!!) but HUGS to you! ha if only they knew we're hugging strangers online ps i love your little quote about "in 3 years time..."
Peter_pan Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 thanks Peter Pan... just caught up with your situation. sorry youre going through this too. I dunno how you do the icon (sure Im pure clueless!!) but HUGS to you! ha if only they knew we're hugging strangers online ps i love your little quote about "in 3 years time..." its funny cause my ex "never" popped up. only behind my back and to my best mate... still never heard from her. if she spoke to me i guess i would reply but im changing my phone no at x mas so she ent got much time left. i know it sounds harsh but im not wishing her a merry x mass or happy bday. yeh if she only knew some things about me... lol yeah well alot of people say that. i never wanted her or us to be a "memory" i even said that, she said, nor did i. she used to say she would be sad if she lost all contact with me. and she didnt want it to be like that between us. ugh and when we were on the train coming home, we got on well and she said, see this is what it will always be like. so basically wanted to be pal's with me. but i think she ultimately knew it couldn't be that way since i still wanted to be with her so badly. i know i probably pushed her away, but she would have done it anway and i think she was trying to let me down gently but i wasnt moving, hence why she got angry every time i mention us. enough of the high jack to your thread... i dont think after this amount of time of complete nc, seeing her would freak me out and id prob cry lol i dont know how you managed to do what you did with your ex. maybe i should just face my fears.. its not like ive got to see her everyday, or we share the same town or city. gawd i can still remember her smell from time to time. that must be odd lol. how long were you wiv him? i need to re read your story
Author openbook08 Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 I had to change my phone number..it is hard cos ur thinkin what if he/she wants to contact me etc etc but on the other hand it stops that excitable feeling in your tummy that we all pretend we dont have (but we do) everytime the phone rings wonderin/hopin is it them... so it another way to help you move on. in this day & age if you really wanna find someone a little thing like not having their no. wont stop you. he wanted to be buddy/buddy friends too. come on how thick can you be?? yesterday I was loving you and holding you today Im one of "the lads" ha ha!! get away. I just dont 'get it'. he dumped me(ustand & respect the reasons why we parted it was absolutely the right thing-even tho he broke my heart- but for a few years maybe, we were together so young needed some growin up time,but he just jumped straight into another rship barely a month after he told me i was "it" for him etc etc& it makes me sad for him because Im 3years older & he does need to be on his own but obv wasnt brave enough to see it thru) by text...and it was nearly 5years by the way...my first love & all the other firsts that go with it so he was extra special ... and I let him go, I didnt beg , cry, go to pieces (well behind closed doors obviously) but I never made it difficult on him. but he was the one who came back with all his promises and he broke my heart again and again and again - the last bein when I found out hed the girlf. & yet was still, I felt, givin me mixed signals. He doesnt even deserve my smile but it shouldve been enough. baffled as to why he went and made the scene he did.... get ya about the smell thing too....... Im doin a lot better though and you will too!! hell im even making my first trip to New York!! always wanted to go but was too caught up in "us" goin together. him, bein so tight, prob wouldve never happened!!! NOT lookin forward to Christmas but I reckon all the money we wouldve spent on gifts for the ex ( I was too generous) should, for this 1st year apart, be spent on ridiculous stuff for OURSELVES!!
CailinPig Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I don't know, I don't get it either. It's quite scary how your mood can flip when they walk back in to your life too. I was doing fine, had started a college course, was deliriously happy for the first time in a looooong time. I felt soooo good, soooo happy and positive. And then he called to my house to say he'd be breaking up with his girlfriend. I was so excited after that, thinking we could be friends again. But then, got no contact from him and eventually saw him walking along with her one day; he'd neglected to mention he'd never broken up with her and he was now happy again. He didn't think for ONE SECOND about how his visit ouuta the blue could've affected me. And now here I am, 8 months after the break up of a 3 year relationship, wondering why I'm still so hurt and so dead inside. They must have a radar that knows when you're happy.
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