FlyingToaster Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Hello, I've posted about this before, but I think I was a bit verbose and as a result got only 1 reply. I'll try to do better with this one. We live in a small house in my H's hometown. He still has family here; aging mother and older brother and his family. It is a small town that is a tad isolated. We have to drive about 15 miles to get to a somewhat decent grocery store, and even farther for any chain stores. We have 1 child. We've thought about another but with our current situation, there's no room. We didn't have enough room before our son was born. I want to move for all the above reasons and for the other fact that there's nothing here for me in regards to my interests, hobbies, etc. My husband agrees that we need to move but he's not doing much to move forward. Where we live is special to him. In all actuality we have a grass runway and hangar on this property as well. He'd prefer to have a family member take it over, but no one has stepped forward. He'd like to then sell it to somebody he knows, but he hasn't ventured to ask. Since the house is too small for us, I'm pretty sure that would be an issue for the other person he's hoping will buy it. We've looked into building on. We even hired an architect. But to make it look like one unit instead of added on, we'd have to tear down a lot of the house. In addition, we've talked to the bank and there's no way they would lend us the money since it wouldn't be in their best interest. We've looked in to moving to my hometown. The schools are a bit bigger and definitely offer more variety in regards to curriculum for our son. The other thing that appeals to me is that my family would be closer. My husband's job has him gone entirely every other week. His family has too many of their own issues to be able to help me out if I needed it. A couple asked my husband if he would sell this place and he told them no. Their son is a pilot and, according to my H, a big know-it-all. He didn't want to have to listen to him tell my H what he did wrong with the place, and my H also thinks that they wouldn't take as good of care of it as he did. Of course, my H also sacrificed a lot of time he could have spent with his family to maintain this place. Am I being a big baby? Is what I'm asking for too much? If that's the case, how can I deal with this besides getting a labotomy? I really feel like I'm going to go to waste here. Sorry it's still a bit long. Take care.
Geishawhelk Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I hate to say it, but it looks like stalemate. Whatever you do, one or the other of you is going to have to make sacrifices. The trouble is - who would be making the biggest sacrifice? Toughie. I don't know what to offer.....
2sure Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I completely understand all of your reasons for feeling a move is required. When we have kids its one thing, but when they have school and activities, its a whole new ballgame. With your husband gone every other week, it is completely fair for you to want to be in a location where it is easier to have support, and maybe even work while your child is in school. Is working a possibility? That would make buying a larger house more likely. Your husband to me, is being somewhat unreasonable to think he has to hold onto this house. And even more unreasonable to think that ANT buyer is going to feel the need to report back to him and maintain it as the previous owner sees fit. That just isnt reality. So, he is sentimentally attached to the property and cannot sell it, regardless of how it affects his family. OK. How about renting it?? Since the house is also basically too small to sell or add onto - renting might be an option. Of course, given the location you may not come across too many people (other than the one you mentioned as interested in the hangar) who want to rent in that area. If you could rent it - you would have income while paying a mortgage on a larger house in a more desirable location.
Author FlyingToaster Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 Working outside of the home isn't an option right now. I would like to do some catering/cake decorating at some point, but that would be a challenge right now since 1) Our son is 2 years old and very busy, and 2) We have dogs so preferably I'd like to have a kitchen separate from our living quarters. I'm sure some clients wouldn't mind having their stuff made in a pet friendly environment, but for now our house is so small that it would be more work moving things around to make room for a working space. It's very frustrating. As far as renting, I'm a bit concerned about that as well. We'd be living 3 hours away so any emergency that would come up would be a challenge, especially when my H is working. I appreciate your replies. Thank you for validating my issues. Take care.
Recommended Posts