Sysyphus28 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I met someone, my age(29), she is amazing! I was on the coping site for months, then I met this new person and she is awesome. She is a musical therapist and works with dying patients. She has her own place and is independent and did I mention she is actually my age! Well, we went out on 4 dates, and on the 5th date I slept over her place. She hasn't had sex with anyone in a year, and we had sex that night. It was really good. The next day she wasn't as touchy as I was and was kind of "FAR away". I havn't over-called her or texted her to much, she wants to go out for drinks tonight and she sounds like she is into me. Is it possible to just sit back and see how things play out, or because we had sex, should I try to be "Mr. Romance". I don't want to play myself out or be too much of a cornball, I want her to want me..........and want to be with me. I have not asked her to be my g/f or anything, I guess we are still dating....even though we had sex. She is really mature and seems like she wants something serious. I don't want to be a one night stand either. How should I go about making this real....and making it solid!
movingonandon Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 See what the girls will say. Per my own intuition neither sit back not be Mr. Romance, actually, definitely not Mr. Romance, Just be cool & relaxed, perhaps challenge her a bit. That you had sex is a milestone, but at the same time it's not a huge deal, so don't drastically alter your behavior just because of it. Just keep doing whatever you did so eh actually had sex with you
ShevLizzard Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Has she given any hints, suggestions etc to what she is looking for? How long [weeks,days] have you been dating?
2sure Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I am not sure how long you have been out of your previous relationship - or more importantly, how long it has been since you have gotten over it....but your excitement to move forward with this woman, might be the real deal or might be rebound. Be yourself of course, be sincere, but stay low key for a while.
Author Sysyphus28 Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 It has only been a few weeks hanging out. She has said that she wants something good......something real. She said that it means something that I was the first person she has had sex with in a year. She still wants to take it emotionally slow. I am going at her pace. I want her to be my g/f. I have dated and dated and I think she might be a great partner. It has been slow going though. She wants to really get to know me I guess, which is great. Usually things start out at full speed for me....and last some amount of time then fizzle. I like how she is pacing this. How do I pace it the same?
LittleDove Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Chill out. I know overly eager guys have me running..fast, in the OTHER direction. keep doing the same thing and being the same guy who she slept with, because she liked that guy. DO NOT change just because you had sex. If anything, that just opens the door for intamacy, a kiss stolen here and there, and the door is now 'open' for more sex!BUT DO NOT change your behaviour because of sex.. Be cool, be yourself, dont try to be anything other than who you are. Love is not a game, she sounds quite stable, not rushing in..great start. goodluck!!! (was it you who left the forum??) I recall saying goodbye? maybe im wrong...
Author Sysyphus28 Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 someon told me to stick around and help other coping people. It seems right for the help and support I got from LS. It has been really eye-opening.
amaysngrace Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Hey weren't you suppose to have your last post the other day? That's cool. Just try and leave here. I dare ya!
amaysngrace Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 someon told me to stick around and help other coping people. It seems right for the help and support I got from LS. It has been really eye-opening. Oh sorry I missed this. Yeah right, lots of people said bye and one person said stay. So you stayed. Typical.
LittleDove Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Well things do and can change in the course of a day!!! amaysn you ALWAYS make me laugh
amaysngrace Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 amaysn you ALWAYS make me laugh Hang around and I will be bigtime on your nerves like I get on everyone else's sometimes with my random sex filled innuendo. They'll be all like "my kids are sad because the dog died" and I'll be asking "do dogs balls get hard when they die?" Serious.
Author Sysyphus28 Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 Last night we went out for food and a drink and she told me "we are not on the same page". This is after she had sex with me last saturday night. She said she felt to much pressure to be IN a relationship with me. **partly because I am a NO baloney type of guy...who doesn't want F-buddies..........BUT... It wasn't hostile and she was really honest and polite very early in our brief time together. I feel rejected but.......I erased her phone number this morning and I am not taking it to much to heart. It was fun! It really was! And if she is not into something serious then whatever....someone will be. On a postnote: My ex is getting together with all our mutual friends for Thanksgiving.....I am not going. She thinks I might go, but I probably won't. We talked briefly yesterday. She is a million miles away and we started to talk about mac n cheese for thanksgiving. It was completely lame. This has been such a process for me. The holidays will be hard "alone"
Author Sysyphus28 Posted December 3, 2008 Author Posted December 3, 2008 2 weeks ago this girl I was dating gave me the boot and said things were too intense and she felt pressured to date. She called me yesterday and said she wants to be friends and get a drink. Is she interested again. I have not called her in 2 weeks. We did have sex, and we kissed alot while we were datign(which lasted about 3 weeks).
Recommended Posts