ipetree Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Well, Both sexes care about looks. Both sexes care about have someone to talk to that is interesting. Both sexes might not want someone fat, etc. However, the vast majority of women ALSO care about height, and income. 2 things men do not care about. It is silly when women whom are almost midgets are demanding men to be tall. Because they have to wear 4 inch shoes, and a guy must then be 3-4 inches taller, because when they go out on a date that's how they like for it to look. What if men made up some arbitrary rule like that? "Well, we want to be 8-12 inches taller than the woman we date, because we want to wear 6 inch shoes, so we will not date any women below 5 ft 6."
Author Bells Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 Well, Both sexes care about looks. Both sexes care about have someone to talk to that is interesting. Both sexes might not want someone fat, etc. However, the vast majority of women ALSO care about height, and income. 2 things men do not care about. It is silly when women whom are almost midgets are demanding men to be tall. Because they have to wear 4 inch shoes, and a guy must then be 3-4 inches taller, because when they go out on a date that's how they like for it to look. What if men made up some arbitrary rule like that? "Well, we want to be 8-12 inches taller than the woman we date, because we want to wear 6 inch shoes, so we will not date any women below 5 ft 6." Yeah, that's like men demanding a woman must have D-CUP Boobs are bigger. lol
Humbleman Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Actually, it's easier for the women, not the men. Because men have to do the chasing, put up with being blown off and/or rejected, unreturned phone calls, etc, etc. Women have to just sit back and let the men ask them out. Chasing a woman is the best part, it's putting up with them that's the drain. I enjoy pursuing a woman, the chase, the hunt it's exciting. The flirting, the innuendo, it's all fun and games, if you know what you're doing. Once that finishes and you get the girl, boredom sets in...that's the bad part. Why do you let flakey women put you down? Sure it is sorry behaviour, but just remember there's plenty more hotter women about town. Think of control, you have sole control, when women sit back and expect, they hand you the upperhand, it is then up to you to capitalize on this. If you don't then you lose.
Author Bells Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 Chasing a woman is the best part, it's putting up with them that's the drain. I enjoy pursuing a woman, the chase, the hunt it's exciting. The flirting, the innuendo, it's all fun and games, if you know what you're doing. Once that finishes and you get the girl, boredom sets in...that's the bad part. Why do you let flakey women put you down? Sure it is sorry behaviour, but just remember there's plenty more hotter women about town. Think of control, you have sole control, when women sit back and expect, they hand you the upperhand, it is then up to you to capitalize on this. If you don't then you lose. I see no excitement in "the chase" anymore Actually, it was okay when I was in my 20's, in your mid-30's, get annoying and I don't tolerate the games anymore. But, there's women who are still doing it. Getting "Stood up" isn't part of this whole game thing, is it?
Humbleman Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I'm in my mid-20's and have no reason to "settle down". You might feel differently...that would explain why you seem to be taking this dating game (it's a game) far too seriously. I've been stood up and I got really angry about it, then I phoned up a mate and we went out looking for girls at a few bars and I got with one, instantly the girl who stood me up was history. Being stood up sucks, but it sucks more if you let it get to you. Plenty more fish in the sea.
D-Jam Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I still say if she's going to pass you up because of height or things that are beyond your control then it speaks loudly about how much of a quality person she is. Same deal with women. If you're one of those tall females and the guys are passing you up because they want a shorter one, then it shows you how much those guys are not quality people. Believe me I've seen some very attractive tall women, and I'd totally date them. I just think height is a silly issue. As in income IF the person is working in a solid career and is working to be the best at what they do. I imagine teachers being passed up because they don't make a big income. Come on now...people who claim they want people who want kids, love them, and want family...so they'll pass up someone who devoted their lives to kids? Like an ambitious businessman/lawyer is somehow a better pick? Weight, fashion, some personality traits...those are within your control. Height, baldness, income in your chosen career field...those are outside of your control. Don't see those who pass you up as losses, but rather as people who probably wouldn't be quality to you to begin with.
nicki Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Sad, but very common story of women who will date only rich men and pick the wrong thing to focus on. I tell my daughter to date a man who has a good work ethic, not simply a rich guy. People can lose all their money, but a hardworking person will get out there and make more.....so, it's a character quality. Anyway, I'm only 5'2" tall. My height has never been an issue for a guy. If it was, I'd be okay with it. To each his own. Maybe he would feel like he was taking advantage of a younger (girl) woman if he was very tall. I could understand that. But most guys seem to love my petite size, even the tall ones. For me, I feel most comfortable with an average sized guy, but have dated a guy who was 5'4" and several guys who were way over 6 feet. It didn't feel right to me, for whatever reason. BUT, it's the whole package. My boyfriend is 5'9" and he seems so tall to me. I can rest my head on his chest. He loves that! When I put heels on, he loves that I'm suddenly taller and it changes things up. Bottom line. I would never exclude any guy due to height or loss of hair, or any other physical trait. It's the total package that I must consider, and it's such a personal thing. I think short, stocky men are very hot!
D-Jam Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I know of a gal who my boyfriend has known for quite some time. She used to tell him all about how she would get taken to this expensive place and that exotic resort, because she ONLY dated rich men, and she instructed her daughter to do the same. She's now a 50 something bank teller, too thick around the middle, and alone. Goes to show how well that method worked for her. Someone needed to ask her long ago "so how's that working out for you?" I've met women who have been on FLINGS with wealthy guys, but then later would complain why none of these guys would commit in terms of relationship or marriage. They had to learn the hard truth that just because a guy will wine, dine, and sleep with a woman doesn't mean he'll give his heart and commit to her. I have a feeling bank teller was one of these women. Managed to be the "fun night" for the wealthy guys she desired, but never the "girlfriend material" or "marriage material". Kind of sad, but she brought it on herself, especially is plenty of decent guys with average incomes had stepped up to her. I hope her daughter doesn't make the same mistake. And Nicki you are uber-cool.
Author Bells Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 Of course, we'll ALWAYS here the arguements: "I know what I want, and I WON'T Settle!" "Why should I settle,when I could be happy?" Even the most recent: "Why not go for the BEST? I want the BEST for myself. Why should I settle for mediocrity?"
Author Bells Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 I guess it all comes down to what you define as "the best," "happiness," and "mediocrity." Now, lets not start talking about how we perceive things, shall we?
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Oh for cryin' out loud, people. Does it matter what people do or want? As long as they're not whining about it, it's really none of your business. It's like the entire world has to find YOU personally, universally attractive. Well, life ain't like that, so get used to it. Everyone gets rejected at some time in their lives, whether you're aware of it or not. The human mind rejects sometimes, without even the person themselves, aware of what's happening. If you're consistently being rejected, then it's time to figure out why. Ugly people inside and outside find mates, so why are you being rejected? Apparently on LS, there are no ugly people but also apparently, there's a cadre of people who can't find dates and wallow in victimhood. It's always everyone else's fault!
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Don't hold back, now, TBF. Tell us how you really feel. Good grief! If this thread is THAT irritating to you, don't read it. Everyone is expressing their opinions, so I chose to express mine. If you have a problem with that, don't read my posts. It's thread after thread after of the same shyte, different day, where it's always everyone else's fault, be it male or female. The underlying issue is that it's actually personal insecurities. People hate being rejected. Okay, that's fine but why not open up threads that address personal insecurities v. it's always, everyone else's fault.
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 And people can post what they want. No one can tell people what they can and can't talk about. Sometimes it's NOT about personal insecurity, such as the gal I described who thought she was so f'ing wonderful that some rich guy was eventually going to discover that about her, and she'd end up living in a mansion dripping with diamonds. Now she's unhappily still single, working her butt off to survive like REAL people. At her age, most of the TRUE good guys are taken. Pot...meet...kettle! Each person points out other's flaws for a reason. Once in awhile it's concern, most often on LS, it's because they've either been rejected or want to discuss something that gives them a sense of superiority over others. If this woman is fine doing her thing, who cares? If she's unhappy and whining, then she has to address her issues. It fits what I said.
D-Jam Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Of course, we'll ALWAYS here the arguements: "I know what I want, and I WON'T Settle!" "Why should I settle,when I could be happy?" Even the most recent: "Why not go for the BEST? I want the BEST for myself. Why should I settle for mediocrity?" Again though...if Ms Bank Teller and women like her can't get the wealthy attractive males to commit to anything more than just a fling...then it shows they are out of her league, and she needs to rethink things down to "who will give me what I want in a relationship?" I'd love to be with a girl as hot as Adriana Lima and have it she's got a great career and loves to travel, etc. Doesn't mean such a girl will be interested in me. If all the girls like that more or less show me that I'm not what they want in a man...then it's time for me to rethink what I want in a woman. "He/She wants to be with me" has to also be one of the "things" people need to put on those "laundry lists". The rest is pointless if the person won't commit to you the way you want. If he/she defines "mediocrity" as the entire pool of people who would be interested in dating and relationship with the person...then he/she has just doomed themselves to a lonely life. They are the reason then why they are single...not the people who reject them.
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 The first pot to hit the stove. :lmao: donna, are you interested in arguing for the sake of arguing or are you interested in suggesting something worthwhile? Review the OPs list of threads. You'll find that he does nothing but criticize women. Why is that? That's what I'm getting at. Why this incessant need to point the finger at the other gender? He has problems getting dates. Why?
stillafool Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Oh for cryin' out loud, people. Does it matter what people do or want? As long as they're not whining about it, it's really none of your business. It's like the entire world has to find YOU personally, universally attractive. Well, life ain't like that, so get used to it. Everyone gets rejected at some time in their lives, whether you're aware of it or not. The human mind rejects sometimes, without even the person themselves, aware of what's happening. If you're consistently being rejected, then it's time to figure out why. Ugly people inside and outside find mates, so why are you being rejected? Apparently on LS, there are no ugly people but also apparently, there's a cadre of people who can't find dates and wallow in victimhood. It's always everyone else's fault! Amen! If someone wants to spend their lives dating rich guys and end up alone that's their choice. Who cares? I have a friend who spent her youth dating rich guys and is now alone with her dog but she hasn't changed and the only regret she seems to have is she didn't snag one. Fortunately for her she makes a really good salary to support herself.
Taramere Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 What if men made up some arbitrary rule like that? "Well, we want to be 8-12 inches taller than the woman we date, because we want to wear 6 inch shoes, so we will not date any women below 5 ft 6." Frankly I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.
D-Jam Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Amen! If someone wants to spend their lives dating rich guys and end up alone that's their choice. Who cares? I have a friend who spent her youth dating rich guys and is now alone with her dog but she hasn't changed and the only regret she seems to have is she didn't snag one. I agree with you. If someone is happier in the "I want the best of the best or I'll gladly accept being alone" mentality then it's not for anyone to judge. My opinions are more aimed at men and women who complain about being single, but yet have their standards set to a point where they can't ever attain such a mate. They live in the conundrum of hating their singledom, but never realizing they are shooting for a standard that those at that standard would not give them the adoration in return.
Author Bells Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 she has just doomed themselves to a lonely life. them. And, believe it or not...some single bachelorettes are happy with that.
ipetree Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 The most humorous is when just about every woman you meet has a "rich man" story. Of course, common sense tells me they were a fling for the rich man. Or it was a guy lying about his wealth. But the woman always tells the story as if he really wanted to marry her, but she wanted more than just money . LMAO So either this tiny % of single millionaires really really get around and ask every woman they meet to marry them, or the women have very selective memories.
D-Jam Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 And, believe it or not...some single bachelorettes are happy with that. Again...if they're happy and content with "everything I want or I choose to be alone and happy" then I commend them. Remember that's my attitude as well. Why should I judge when I myself adhere to that philosophy?
Stockalone Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I still say if she's going to pass you up because of height or things that are beyond your control then it speaks loudly about how much of a quality person she is. ... Weight, fashion, some personality traits...those are within your control. Height, baldness, income in your chosen career field...those are outside of your control. Don't see those who pass you up as losses, but rather as people who probably wouldn't be quality to you to begin with. Personally, I don't see how it makes a difference whether or not you could change the thing(s) that the other person doesn't like about you. Is having a height requirement worse than having a weight requirement? My opinions are more aimed at men and women who complain about being single, but yet have their standards set to a point where they can't ever attain such a mate. They live in the conundrum of hating their singledom, but never realizing they are shooting for a standard that those at that standard would not give them the adoration in return. By lowering their standards, those people aren't guaranteed to find whatever it is they are looking for. Besides, I don't believe that people can actually change who they are attracted to. Attration isn't rational. Most people can probably compromise/broaden their outlook in terms of what they find acceptable, but only to a limited extent.
RecordProducer Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Actually, it's easier for the women, not the men. Because men have to do the chasing, put up with being blown off and/or rejected, unreturned phone calls, etc, etc. Women have to just sit back and let the men ask them out. Actually, it's easier for men, because they can choose among ALL women, while women choose among the men who chose them. Even the most recent: "Why not go for the BEST? I want the BEST for myself. Why should I settle for mediocrity?"Well, some people CAN afford to be picky more than others. If I can have a steak, why would I settle for a burger? It's always everyone else's fault!I love your posts, woman! I'd love to be with a girl as hot as Adriana Lima and have it she's got a great career and loves to travel, etc. Doesn't mean such a girl will be interested in me. If all the girls like that more or less show me that I'm not what they want in a man...then it's time for me to rethink what I want in a woman.I think your entire post was great. At least I totally agree with you. If you can have the hot girl with a PhD, why would you go for the average-looking, dumb girl? Where does it say that the latter will be a better person and love you more than the former? I guess Mother Nature is shallow. I also agree with you that if you can't find anyone "special" because nobody finds you "special," then you should either lower your criteria or wait until you meet that speacial someone (and accept that it might never happen). Personally, I don't see how it makes a difference whether or not you could change the thing(s) that the other person doesn't like about you. Yes, I was going to reply to that, too. Your date is not your social worker who should help you regradless of your flaws. I think people can't accept the fact that the criteria we set for our partners are merciless - not merciful. You might date an overweight person and think of yourself as non-shallow, but would you date someone who is completely f*cked up and abusive because their parents didn't love them? Is having a height requirement worse than having a weight requirement?How about the requireemnt for intelligence or sense of humor or even good-heartedness? Ultimately, it's neither our fault nor our merit that we are selfish or unselfish, mentally ill or healthy, smart or stupid... Besides, I don't believe that people can actually change who they are attracted to. Attration isn't rational. Most people can probably compromise/broaden their outlook in terms of what they find acceptable, but only to a limited extent.True. And what's the point of dating or marrying someone you're not attracted to?
MN randomguy Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I know of a gal who my boyfriend has known for quite some time. She used to tell him all about how she would get taken to this expensive place and that exotic resort, because she ONLY dated rich men, and she instructed her daughter to do the same. She's now a 50 something bank teller, too thick around the middle, and alone. Goes to show how well that method worked for her. I grew up in a resort area, know lots of these women. It sounds like this one procreated below replacement rate (only one kid) at least these unproductive moochers are getting bred out of the population. Usually by age 50 they all smell like cat urine and the game is over. Someone needed to ask her long ago "so how's that working out for you?" I've met women who have been on FLINGS with wealthy guys, but then later would complain why none of these guys would commit in terms of relationship or marriage. They had to learn the hard truth that just because a guy will wine, dine, and sleep with a woman doesn't mean he'll give his heart and commit to her. I have a feeling bank teller was one of these women. Managed to be the "fun night" for the wealthy guys she desired, but never the "girlfriend material" or "marriage material". Kind of sad, but she brought it on herself, especially is plenty of decent guys with average incomes had stepped up to her. I hope her daughter doesn't make the same mistake. And Nicki you are uber-cool. +1 add famous men to that. Know one 30 y/o woman who thinks that she is the ex-gf of a famous singer songwriter. Don't have the heart to tell her that just because you have sex with him doesn't make you his GIRLFRIEND.
MN randomguy Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I still say it's ok to like what you like in terms of the physical...provided those with those physical features will like you in return and be the kinds of mates you want them to be. A 5'2" girl wanting a guy 6'3" or more is pointless if every guy she meets of that height doesn't want her and/or treats her badly when they do date. Meaning in her dating pool she has to choose either shorter guys who will be good mates to her, or taller guys who will disappoint her. "So how is that working out for you?" I don't understand why some people assume that people want to date people with the same physical traits. I'm 6'4" 215# and have had 5'0" women want to make not so short babies with me. This particular girl didn't float my boat for other reasons. But, I think its actually logical what she was doing. I want to make lighter faster babies with a woman some day. I love the willowy, lean triathlete/marathon runner type.
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