Brimstone_Angel Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 But, I am getting what the main thought about this thread and the article is about. It is funny how certain people complain about other people's preferences and complain about how hard it is for them to find love, yet when love does come their way, they turn it away on something that really does not determine if a person can love you or not. For example, I don't complain about a woman who have certain physical requirements, God knows I have them too. But, then I don't have room to complain if I exclude a woman who is willing to love me like I want, based on the fact I want my women petite to athletic build and she is heavier than that. That is where the being a hypocrite comes in at.
D-Jam Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Anyone actually read the article? Yes, and it again leads me to a question someone you and I know loves to ask anyone: "So how's that working out for you?" It's not aimed at you, but for the women who make their male height requirement a major deal...especially when it's a height that isn't normal for the male populace. I've known slightly taller women who want a man that's taller than her even if she's wearing 4" heels. 6'3", 6'4" or taller. Add to that the requirements of good face, body, career, personality...and basically these women are chronically single. You ask them how their requirements are working out, and they'll reply (like many women do) that they get tall men asking them out all the time, but then I bring up that they're still single...meaning no boyfriend in a while and not married...then it's either excuses that blame men or a sob story on how every tall man she meets won't commit and/or treated her badly. When men and women think up their laundry lists in their minds of the ideal mate, too many then treat it like the holy bible, or they'll put requirements in the "MUST HAVE" area that aren't easily attainable. A guy who is 6'3" or taller AND he's got a great income AND he's in great shape AND he treats women right AND he's single and unattached isn't easily attainable I'm sorry to say. Maybe you'll get the guy who is 5'9" who has a decent job, works out regularly, and treats women well...but asking for the near impossible standard is like when guys ask for a supermodel who has no children and an amazing career that doesn't make more money than them. "So how's that working out for me?" is the question men and women need to regularly ask themselves when they're in the dating realm and have their set of "must have" standards. It's where you take a moment and wonder if you set the bar too high, and thus it is not the opposite sex that keeps you single, but you yourself. I did that many times. When I was in pursuit of a long haired brunette with a sexy body, pretty face, and fun, but stable lifestyle...I had to ask myself how things were working out for me. I realized I met plenty of hotties, but none of them would be serious and/or honest with me. Or they had fun lifestyles, but no stability. I found later that there are plenty more women who might have 5-10 extra pounds, but they still look very beautiful. I found that just because they're not out on the town all the time doesn't mean they're boring or prudes. I also found that blondes and redheads can also be good women. I rethought my selection standards to a wider range, and met some very cool women who were quite pretty, stable, mature, and interested in me. I realized that while weight was a big issue I wouldn't budge on, it wasn't set to an impossible standard. Things like hair color, hair length, and breast size were all redundant and unimportant. I have standards and I still keep to them, but they are standards that MOST PEOPLE WHO WOULD BE INTERESTED IN ME can attain. I bolded and capitalized that part because both men and women need to think in that term when making their standards. If your standards can be attained, but said male or female won't be interested in you, then they are impossible standards for you. Bear that in mind. It's not settling for less, but THINKING REALISTICALLY. One can hold on to the "I will never change my standards!" mentality, but then I'll ask: "So how's that working out for you?" For the short guys, I say now what I keep saying...treat a girlfriend as an added bonus in life...not a necessity. Believe me, even though most of the women here will say "NO WAY!" when I say this...too many more women get that biological clock ticking, they see their friends getting married and they're still alone...and suddenly those impossible standards get dropped to realistic pretty damn fast. Don't be ashamed or down on yourself for your height. Just see it as the women who rejected you for it are big bullets dodged. Maybe while they judge you on your height, they could be the ones who later blimp out on their husband and then call him "shallow" when he gives her crap about it (or leaves her for it).
Humbleman Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I'm short and it has never bothered me. 5ft 9 is tall enough.
Lizzie60 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 That's true, most women are "Height Queens". They don't necessarily want NBA centers but they love looking up to taller guys. I'm almost 6' 2" , speak in complete sentences and have a job. Therefore , I'm golden with the fairer sex. (Except I'm much too old for Lizzie ). My retractable claws can get in the way, too. No you're not.. You're still in your 40s..
fral945 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I'm a little thing but packed full of fire and ire! Do you also have red hair and drive a giant SUV? Short women like that intimidate me.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I was married to a man that claimed to be my same height - 5'7". I never really cared about height. But I swear, he was like half an inch shorter than me. I really didn't have a problem with it during our relationship. But I did get to experience a man just over 6' and realized it was kinda hot. I can't really say why. I guess because height seems to be kind of masculine to me. I don't think I'd ever date someone shorter than me ever again - it just doesn't seem "sexy" to me. But I'd be okay with someone my height or taller. I don't need a few inches for heels and then a couple inches on top of that. LOL That part IS silly, IMO.
Trialbyfire Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Do you also have red hair and drive a giant SUV? Short women like that intimidate me. I had red hair for about 6 months a few years back. Now it's black. No, I drive a 3-series sedan and...something else. I hate SUVs.
grogster Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 No you're not.. You're still in your 40s.. Sweetie, I wish.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I'm tall, and all my serious boyfriends have been between 5'11" and 6'4". The 6'4" guy and I fit together perfectly for dancing, walking arm in arm, and so on, but the 6'0" guy had a way sexier body and blew him out of the water in bed, so he wins. Actually, come to think of it, the tall guy was the most sexually boring of the bunch, and I had the most explosive sex with the two shortest guys. Maybe they felt they had more to prove? I think the man being shorter is usually more of an issue for the guys than the girls.
Isolde Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I've said it before, there is something so hot about a guy being just a little taller than you, when you hug and kiss, feeling closer to him because his face and chest are aligned with yours, yet he is still stronger than you! *melts* Shorter than me, though? I'm 5'4, and I can't see it. *shrugs* I'm a big fan of 5'10, if I could sketch out my ideal bf he would be that height.
Yamaha Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I'm short ( 5'7") and if a women doesn't want to get to know me because of my height that is find with me. Life is to short to worry about why people want what they want so just move on and find that gal that appreciates you. They are out there!!!!!!
CandyGirlXO Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I'm 5'2 and as long as he is taller than me I'm happy. I do like short guys...you fit better together sexually and walking around hand holding. I dated a guy 6'2 but some sexual positions were impossible such as doggiestyle which sucked because I love that position. Another EX is 5'9 and holding hands while walking was annoying. I had to keep my arm up the whole time to reach his hand.
Jez_UK Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Just looking at the title of this thread "Women hypocrites...." already before I clicked I knew the post would be flawed. Different individuals have different tastes. If you are a short guy you are not magically removed from the dating pool, it just means that you will have more success with shorter women with who you fit with better.
DollWelch Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Truth is, women don't want to admit that they dislike short men and only date men taller than themselves. _A vast majority of_ women are allergic to short men. Period. I am willing to admit it, though. I am only interested in men taller than myself. The sad complex of this issue is, in my opinion, women who purposely belittle and diminish a short man's ego/self-esteem/feelings simply because he wasn't tall enough to meet her criterion during the courting stage. This is disgusting, rude, and hateful. Don't try to fake it. If short men don't appeal to you, then don't date them.
RecordProducer Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I am almost 5'6" and I can't date a guy who is below 5'9".
flc Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I find it interesting, my xW was 5'1" and I'm 5'8" she seemed small and vulnerable in my arms and I think there was some attraction to that feeling. My current gf is also 5'8" and routinely is 2-3" taller than me when we go out and she wears heals. There is a different enjoyment in being eye to eye and that vulnerable feeling is not there. Also while the height difference does not really bother either of us it is something I routinely find myself focused on for a few seconds each time we go out.
Author Bells Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 I am almost 5'6" and I can't date a guy who is below 5'9". This is the problem that the author describes with some of his female clients. Women...who are already short...won't date guys that are "Short" but...TALLER than them still....why is this is quite remarkable. He said he kind of understood an already TALL women (like 5'10") not dating a 5'8" man.....but a woman that's an average women ht..somtimes 5'2" only requiring to date a 6 foot tall man, is quite absurd.
ipetree Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Let's be honest.. 5 ft 2 for a woman is pretty short. Anything below 5 ft 4 is too short in my opinion. I do not want really short kids either..Short legs..Long legs are far more attractive.. I wonder how they would feel if they were excluded from the dating pool? Luckily for them, men are not quite so shallow. I am 6ft tall, but have ran into similar things. A woman is 5 ft 8, claims she needs to wear 3 inch heels,and needs the man to still be 3 inches taller..Which means she needs a guy to be about 6ft 2.. I do not think women on their own, have any clue as to find a man, or pick a good one. They look at height, and income first and second, everything else is of less importance. Then when the guy cheats, loses his job and becomes lazy, or has other issues they are completely shocked and blindsided, saying "All men cheat! All men are bad". Actually they looked past everything else, and just assumed they could fix/change him down the road.
Humbleman Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I do not want really short kids either..Short legs..Long legs are far more attractive.. You might want to reword this sentence. As for men being shallow, I am considered by women to be shallow. I will reject women after women if they do not match my criteria of what a woman should look like, what she should do and what she should be doing for me.
stillafool Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 An interesting article.....this sounds pretty grim. Dating column: Women hypocrites for refusing to date short men I was really taken aback when even short, petite 5'2" about the "Heels" on her shoes. LOL What's up with that? These Single women actually count their SHOES as part of their height? I know a lot of men who only want to date tall, thin women. What about that?
Shygirl15 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I know a lot of men who only want to date tall, thin women. What about that? Exactly. It's really annoying when we are bashed for openly declaring our preferences. You will be called all names in the book from materialistic to princess to gold digger but of course, it's OKAAY for men to prefer slender, big boobs, and blonde women.
grogster Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 If I had my druthers, I'd ban the word "shallow" when used to disparage someone's expressed physical preferences. We are all sexual creatures with anatomical preferences, likes and dislikes. If one woman prefers guys who are at least 6' 4" with a 10 inch tool, and could care less about his IQ, etc., that's her choice. She's not shallow. Rather, she has strong preferences in certain areas. Likewise, men who want model thin women with large breasts are not shallow. They simply prefer a physical type. When it comes to body preferences, individual differences rule. I wouldn't want it any other way. Sexual attraction is one area where we should not feel guilty for discriminating. Desire is not politically correct. "Shallow" is the epithet of those who don't make the cut.
Jez_UK Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 When it comes to body preferences, individual differences rule. I wouldn't want it any other way. Sexual attraction is one area where we should not feel guilty for discriminating. Desire is not politically correct. "Shallow" is used by those who don't make the cut. You don't need to feel guilty if you're preferences are shallow. If your preferences are shallow - that's the person you are. I don't understand why you're so defensive about shallowness if you feel it's a normal healthy trait.
grogster Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 You don't need to feel guilty if you're preferences are shallow. If your preferences are shallow - that's the person you are. I don't understand why you're so defensive about shallowness if you feel it's a normal healthy trait. You're psychologizing my post. It's an observation, not a reaction formation. Freud is dead.
Jez_UK Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 You're psychologizing my post. It's an observation, not a reaction formation. Freud is dead. I'm not psychologizing anything. I don't see why you would need to defend that it's ok to be discriminating against body types, but those that discriminate against personality types such as shallow people somehow don't make the cut. It's like me saying people that don't like big boobies don't make the cut.
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