sb129 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 £200K p.a is a very high income in the UK. the national average is £18K.
CommitmentPhobe Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Plenty of people in London make that kind of money. Not any more they don't. £4 an hour in McD's these days.
Brimstone_Angel Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Years ago I was in a relationship with a guy who made less than me. It was not a problem for me until he started to take advantage and then just quit his job. Maybe because of that experience - but I never again considered a realtionship with a guy who made less. That is sad you let a bad apple change you. If I did that, then I would never date a woman again. I have at least 5 issues that I found wrong with the relationship that if I said, never again, I might as well become a cat or dog man. You know, the guy who has like 50 cats or dogs as companions. But, I can understand this, I would not date a woman like that either. If she has a job and she quits so I can support her, heck na. Especially if we are not married and I don't owe her anything. Now if we expressed and agree that she can become a housewife or me a househusband, then fine I can understand that, but not from someone I am seeing. I don't even plan on shacking up before I get married. So, she better have someone to support herself.
sb129 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Not any more they don't. £4 an hour in McD's these days. I know, what I was referring to is that Lishy made it sound like she is the only person there that makes £200K p.a. and she makes way more than all the guys she meets. If she IS making that kind of money, chances are she must be coming into contact with people who make similar incomes to her, surely.
orangehose Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I guess in my eyes I've been dicked around too much in my love life by other women and I just don't value it all as much as I do my career and personal growth. Call me selfish, but that's my choice. Funny, that's exactly how I feel about relationships, but I'm a woman. Why sacrifice for a man (or more generally, another human being) when they can screw you over in an instant? Before my last breakup I would have considered modifying the intensity of my career so as to be a better wife and/or mother. Now I'm like, screw it. I'm not sacrificing career or personal interests for a future partner. I've learned my lesson. At this point, I'd be hesitant to date someone who made significantly less than me. I don't want to be welfare for someone who might just leave me for a hotter, younger woman at the end of the day, and there I'd be, left holding nothing, having funded his 'toy' purchases over the years.
Lishy Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I was joking about the 200k - I wish!!!!!!! It would bother me to date a guy who earned less than me if it was much less but it wouldnt bother me if he only earned little because he was working his way up
nicki Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 As long as a guy has a good work ethic, then I don't really care what he makes as long as he is happy with his career. It's a matter of character. No lazy guy could cut it with me, rich or poor. Of course, we must collectively make enough to pay the bills and do whatever we have to to be financially responsible. Again, another character trait, and a true partnership. I'd rather be married any day to a good man with a good work ethic who loves his job as a mechanic than to be married to a CEO who only cares about money. (Been there, done that!)
lino Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Well I am marrying one who does in less than 6 weeks, so its nice to meet you. My fiance makes half what I do, and right now he isn't working at all due to our personal situation and the job market in his field. He has a job that starts in January. Last year he made more than me and supported me through a job change and a move and helped me pay off debt, and I am very grateful for that. We were living in another country where he got paid more for his profession than he will in this country. After we get married, I will continue make more than he does, but we have a budgeting system that works well for us and allows us to do things we want and have a few luxuries too. He will have to support us when I take time off to have kids...... We have a system that works and I love him for the total package, not just the paycheque (or lack thereof). This doesn't really relate to what I was saying because you have said your husband to be was making more money than you where you previously lived.
lino Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 well, nice to meet you:D He's a 7th grade teacher so I know for sure he will never rake in the big bucks, unless he wins the lottery. It doesn't bother me to contribute a little more than he does to our expenses. He's a hardworking man who chose a less glamorous profession just so he can contribute something positive to society. He loves his job and loves teaching those kids. What else can a girl ask for? You're one of very very few. By the way pretty much every occupation contributes something positive to society. Nice, but... how does the valuable work play role in the relationship? I would date someone who made less than me as long as he had a good job and a bachelor's degree. When I say "good job" I'm not talking money-wise, I'm talking job-status-wise...ie. white collar. Blue collar check yourseld at the door, I don't want any of that. This is the standard attitude right here
cutegirl Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I have dated a man who was unemployed before (and he was living with me rent free)... and during the time he had a job he was making $8 an hr while I was making over 100k a year. I would still date a man who made less than me as long as he doesn't hit me or spit in my face (such as my ex) or cheats... I think finding a man who cheats is so rare and almost impossible to find.
RecordProducer Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Yes, I would. Absolutely. However, if he were broke to the point that I would have to pay for everything every time we'd go out, it'd be a turn-off. Also, a marriage-minded woman might be reluctant to date someone who makes very little. But we're talking LESS, not broke, right? The perspective of advancement would probably correct the impression, if the woman does care about your income.
LittleDove Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I woud go out with a guy(we dont 'date' in autralia) who eaned little...BUT I wouldnt settle down with one. I have just had a 2.5 year relationship, defacto step mother to two young kids, and my egox didnt make enough money to support his family, let alone me.. After this, I will not be with a guy who isnt financially secure. And able to look after his own needs. I will run if a guy is irresponsible with money. Or doesnt open mail...ect. Going out for dinner became an argument...id pay, and id take everyone, but egox would get crappy "because I was spending money he didnt have". So after that essay..If a guy earnt less than me, no thanks.. if I were younger, sure, but now I need security and a house!
Author fromlonelytogreat Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 Yes, I would. Absolutely. However, if he were broke to the point that I would have to pay for everything every time we'd go out, it'd be a turn-off. Also, a marriage-minded woman might be reluctant to date someone who makes very little. But we're talking LESS, not broke, right? The perspective of advancement would probably correct the impression, if the woman does care about your income. Yes, less. I am still very well off though.
sb129 Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 This doesn't really relate to what I was saying because you have said your husband to be was making more money than you where you previously lived. Yes, it does. The question was "Would you date a guy who earned less than you". The OP didn't stipulate "when".... when my fiance and I met, he earned a bit more than I do, which was an unusual situation given our professions. I didn't find that out till well after we had started dating- I knew what his job was and wrongly assumed he made less than I did. Now he isn't earning anything, and when he starts his job he will earn less than me, and will do as long as he remains in that job, which is for the forseeable future. If I said I wouldn't date someone who made less than me, that would mean I according to my own "rules" had to break up with my fiance as soon as he stopped working..
spookie Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 Yes, I would. Absolutely. However, if he were broke to the point that I would have to pay for everything every time we'd go out, it'd be a turn-off. Also, a marriage-minded woman might be reluctant to date someone who makes very little. But we're talking LESS, not broke, right? The perspective of advancement would probably correct the impression, if the woman does care about your income. That about sums up how I'd feel.
V.Vixen Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 definitely. Money doesn't mean much. As long as a guy can support himself and make a decent living then I couldn't care less if I make more than him.
berrieh Posted December 6, 2008 Posted December 6, 2008 Sure, I absolutely would, and have before. Though, right now, it'd be tough to find one since I went back to grad school and make much less than most people right now. (I still support myself, which is what I feel is important, and I'm working towards a concrete goal.) I wouldn't, however, date a guy who couldn't support himself or who had major, crushing debt, with no plan to get out from under it. (I support myself, and I have minimal debt; only a car that's almost paid off and a few student loans - none from undergraduate; all from my recent program - which I will be able to pay off after graduate school.) I also don't tend to be attracted to guys who aren't educated and interested in furthering/bettering themselves, but that often doesn't translate into actual income. But I live really, really simply. I don't have a hankering to ever spend a lot of money, even when I made a lot. I'm not "cheap" but I don't really have expensive tastes. My car was only 12K new, and I don't understand why people need to spend 20-30K etc. I do like to donate money and drop some money socially (eating out, concerts, shows, etc) but I don't buy a lot of stuff.
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