soserious1 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I met a guy off craig's list, went out with him 4 times, had wild,passionate sex I paid for the evenings meal,drinks and the hotel room each time. I was very clear on our first encounter that I wasn't looking for any sort of long term thing. I reminded him of this on each meeting, this included gently reminding him when he began discussing his past relationships, his children etc.. that all I was after was light conversation,a good meal, vibrant sex but nothing more.He repeatedly began discussing things not appropriate to a casual,weekend only type encounter and having no desire to lead him on or have a headache down the road,last weekend on Sunday morning, I thanked him for the time we've shared together and wished him well in his future relationships. I bedded him 4 times, had fun but it's done and it's now tuesday and my voicemail box is full of messages from this person. I don't want to hurt anybody but I was crystal clear as to my intentions and I'm not interested in anything further. When somebody tells you they only desire to hook up a few times but they want nothing more, why don't people listen?
Trimmer Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I met a guy off craig's list, went out with him 4 times, had wild,passionate sex I paid for the evenings meal,drinks and the hotel room each time. I was very clear on our first encounter that I wasn't looking for any sort of long term thing. Ummm... could you PM me your phone number? But seriously, I can't tell you why he didn't "get it." It sounds like you were pretty straight with him. Maybe it's ego - he doesn't believe that you are as resolute in your goals as you are, and he assumes that he is such a catch that you will change his mind? That's all I can think of...
chugster Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Maybe you were way way over the top amazing, and he couldn't get you out of his head. Next time, pick someone that "get" it !!! - like me
carhill Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Married men understand "casual" Seriously, what would you like to discuss? I tend to talk about travel, world affairs and the economy with the women I meet. Is that kinda headed in the right direction? Also, the more and better sex I get, the less I talk and the more I clean house
Author soserious1 Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 Maybe you were way way over the top amazing, and he couldn't get you out of his head. Next time, pick someone that "get" it !!! - like me After several years in a sexless marriage I was like a starving wolf being offered a steak I do hope my not returning this person's calls helps him get the message.I'm really not interested in having to have another conversation where I tell this guy that he was simply a casual booty call.
chugster Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 After several years in a sexless marriage I was like a starving wolf being offered a steak I do hope my not returning this person's calls helps him get the message.I'm really not interested in having to have another conversation. Yeah, just ignore him. If he's a tiny bit smarter than what you made him sounds like, then he'll get it. Else, he will...eventually....
Ruby Slippers Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 hahaha Hey, soserious, I think it's awesome that you ditched that loser ex and started having some fun! Your fling's addiction to you only proves how wrong all the mean and dumb things your ex said were. (most) Men's obsession with the unavailable is truly astounding.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Maybe you could've scared him off if you had told you were expecting something serious? I bet he couldn't run out that hotel room fast enough.
Author soserious1 Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 Married men understand "casual" Seriously, what would you like to discuss? I tend to talk about travel, world affairs and the economy with the women I meet. Is that kinda headed in the right direction? Also, the more and better sex I get, the less I talk and the more I clean house Yeah, your convo was more what I had in mind, he was a nice enough guy but displayed an alarming trend towards crying in his beer over the ex-wife who done him wrong song and it was rather a turn off. I flat out had to tell him,look. neither one of us is here because we've been stunningly successful at marriage, so let's not bore each other with a tale of woe and just enjoy this marvelous evening. I think the poor dear was actually quite lost after his divorce, sad but not something I'm interested in helping him work thru.
RecordProducer Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 He repeatedly began discussing things not appropriate to a casual,weekend only type encounter Why would there be certain rules for casual-encounter conversations? I'd be more open with someone who is unlikely to hold things against me, if anything. I think sexual intimacy brings people closer together. I also think that the sex is better if people get close. Is your problem something deeper than what you stated here? You sound liek a powerful woman (hopefully not Sarah Palin ) who is afraid to open up to a perfect stanger - which totally makes sense if that's the case. I think your entire image turns the heck out of him. I bedded him 4 times, had fun but it's done and it's now tuesday and my voicemail box is full of messages from this person. Tell him "OK, but next time YOU are paying for everything!" You'll never hear from him again.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Maybe you could've scared him off if you had told you were expecting something serious? I bet he couldn't run out that hotel room fast enough. I swear this is true. Tell them the opposite of what is expected. I want to get married and have 12 kids, they run for the hills. I am in NO way looking for a R and they want nothing less. Crazy making!!! :p:p
SushiX Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Maybe he wanted the free meal,drinks and the hotel room again. I know I would. Who needs sex or relationship? I'll just chill with you for the free meal and drinks. lol
SushiX Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 And this is why I would never meet anyone off Craigslist. It just seems like no one is looking for anything serious there. Just SEX. He should know what he got himself into.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I swear this is true. Tell them the opposite of what is expected. I want to get married and have 12 kids, they run for the hills. I am in NO way looking for a R and they want nothing less. Crazy making!!! :p:p It really is. I am single by choice right now and being very clear about that, and the men are just swarming around me. And some of them are being all moony and sappy!! I was talking to a male friend about my previous relationships the other day, and I told him that in every serious relationship I've had, the guy has told me I'm "the love of his life". And he said, "I can understand that. I could see myself falling in love with you." And he proceeded to tell me exactly why in detail!! It's very tempting to get involved with one (or more) of them, even on a casual basis, but I'm not really a casual person. So I'm just enjoying watching all these men fall over themselves to get my attention and impress me. It's really QUITE fun! Waaaaaay better than having a boyfriend who doesn't appreciate you anymore and has gone all lazy on ya. Men.
orangehose Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Yeah, your convo was more what I had in mind, he was a nice enough guy but displayed an alarming trend towards crying in his beer over the ex-wife who done him wrong song and it was rather a turn off. I flat out had to tell him,look. neither one of us is here because we've been stunningly successful at marriage, so let's not bore each other with a tale of woe and just enjoy this marvelous evening. I think the poor dear was actually quite lost after his divorce, sad but not something I'm interested in helping him work thru. I read your earlier posts about your completely nasty ex, and let me say, major props to you for this bit of fun! Inspiring to hear stories such as this.
ipetree Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I tell women the same things all the time. "Look, we had sex, I used you for your body, please do not call me!" For some reason they do not take it so well . AHH.. It's fun being a male these days..
stillafool Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Wow and now women get to do the same thing! Men really do crazy for the unavailable.
Trialbyfire Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Call me Pretty funny turnaround! soserious, while I can understand what's happening, considering your horrific ex, I'm kind of ambivalent to this. It's good for your ego but I kind of feel sorry for this guy. On the otherhand, it's true that if you had wanted something more serious with him, he would have run like the wind. People are so fracked!
SushiX Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I tell women the same things all the time. "Look, we had sex, I used you for your body, please do not call me!" For some reason they do not take it so well . AHH.. It's fun being a male these days.. I would never say anything like that even though I did use a few just for sex. That's just mean. You don't need to tell them anything, they should know.
LittleDove Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 soserious, I 'get' you. This guy seems to want to share his emotional baggage, when all you want is a good time. Funny how when you DONT want anything from a guy(except booty) they seem to want to give it all.. Just ignore the needy man, and find another lover! My booty call lasted a bit long, 5 months of bootying, it was very handy, and really satisfying.. and now 5 months later, we are exculsive, its strange, but my booty evolved into something more. Its only been a 2 days since we talked about it, and so far so good I wasnt looking to begin anything... anyway back to the point.. this guys a freak, and also, why pay for EVERYTHING? get the guy to pay half, last time I checked men will do most anything for some booty!!
BubblyPopcorn Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I met a guy off craig's list, went out with him 4 times, had wild,passionate sex I paid for the evenings meal,drinks and the hotel room each time. I was very clear on our first encounter that I wasn't looking for any sort of long term thing. I reminded him of this on each meeting, this included gently reminding him when he began discussing his past relationships, his children etc.. that all I was after was light conversation,a good meal, vibrant sex but nothing more.He repeatedly began discussing things not appropriate to a casual,weekend only type encounter and having no desire to lead him on or have a headache down the road,last weekend on Sunday morning, I thanked him for the time we've shared together and wished him well in his future relationships. I bedded him 4 times, had fun but it's done and it's now tuesday and my voicemail box is full of messages from this person. I don't want to hurt anybody but I was crystal clear as to my intentions and I'm not interested in anything further. When somebody tells you they only desire to hook up a few times but they want nothing more, why don't people listen? Maybe he's not interested in anything further with you except sex either, but because sex 4 times is you're limit and not his, equates to him "not listening"? Maybe you should have told him upfront you only wanted to have sex with him 4 times and that's it. If you're going to engage in a casual sex based relationship, there will still be strings attached whether or not you welcome it. Just because there are none for you, doesn't mean there aren't any for him. The same applies to a woman who sleeps with a man and he is upfront with her just as you were with this guy.
Recommended Posts