Lauriebell82 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 -watches/downloads porn -verbally/physically abusive -hunts/hurts animals -racist -misogynistic -homophobic -cheats -has kids I don't think you will find any guy who doesn't watch or download porn off of the internet. Unless they are gay, but even then they still watch porn actually...
Lauriebell82 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Oh a few more: -guys who make sex jokes when you first meet them -guys who smell -guys who wear way too much cologne -bad breath -no driver's liscense and/or car -just broke up with ex gf -has pictures of porn stars on walls -unsanitary apartment or house -guys with kids (right now anyway)
Taramere Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 A sense of humour that really doesn't gel with mine. Worse still if he consoles himself by deciding that I'm too stupid to get it, and launches into a condescending and detailed explanation of why I should be laughing. It's the social equivalent of someone you don't fancy tying you down against your will, tickling your clit with a feather duster and then berating you for not responding orgasmically. So I always make it my business to steer clear of men who berate me for not laughing at their jokes. They're almost certainly misogynistic, child molesting, animal-f*cking gropers whose idea of a good night out involves cottaging in nearby parks then going home for a porn session before venturing back out at 6am to kill someone. Call me a fusspot, but I'm not for inking those deals.
PinkKittyKat Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I don't think you will find any guy who doesn't watch or download porn off of the internet. Unless they are gay, but even then they still watch porn actually... Not neccessarily. I come to this from the other side. Two of my casual exes were porn-y guys. Didn't mind at all. But my 2 serious longterm exes were not into porn at all. And by at all I mean, they didn't download it, look at it, watch it, read it etc. Nothing. One of my bf's was in Jr. high school and was offered a stack of explicit porn to let a guy cheat off him on a test. To a 14 year old boy isn't that, like, GOLD? He let him cheat, but refused the porn. The same bf used to go on rants to guys who liked porn and stripclubs. We're still good friends 10 years later, and he still does it. He's the biggest feminist I know. And he's very NOT gay. Why did this pornlessness upset me? Because I used to be a total porn obsessed person. I filled hard drives with the stuff. Boyfriends used to beg me to stop and I'd just wonder what the big deal was. "Don't ALL men do it? Why do I get stuck with the only ones who DON'T!?" It used to really tick me off. Especially when I'd try to get them to enjoy it with me. Now I'm in a serious relationship, the healthiest I've ever been in, and both of us were porn obsessed. Between us we probably could have run porn for a month straight without repeating any, and filled a stack of CDs with filthy jpgs. We decided it was damaging to both of our ideas of sex, it made both of us uncomfortable to think of the other person watching others in sexual acts, and it was really taking away from all the sex we COULD be having. We had a long meaningful discussion, both brought up points, and ultimately both deleted everything we had early on in the relationship. And as a result, my sex life is THE HOTTEST it has ever been. He says he feels a lot better about his performance/size/my reactions, and I feel alot better about my appearance and desirablility. It's not a dealbreaker for everyone, and that's fine, I know PLENTY of couples who enhance their sex life very well with porn. I don't judge it, and I don't view it as inherently misogynistic or anything. But it's not for us. Not anymore. And it was never a dealbreaker before. But if the guy I am with now said he was going to start again, or I found any? Dealbreaker time. We do watch hentai together. For some reason cartoons don't seem to trigger the issues in either of us. as for the no hunting requirement, have you thought that hunting is way more humane than breeding animals in horrible conditions to be killed with no chance of survival? if you hunt, the animal at least has a chance to outsmart/outskill you. Um, well, me and my bf are both vegetarians, so uh, that one has never come up. Last 2 bf's were vegetarians too(I don't pick them, it just happens...spooky!) If I was in a survival situation I'd have to be like Lisa Simpson in that episode they were stranded on the island. Eating lichen and algae. That, or a chicken would outsmart/outskill me. Hahaha. Jersey Shortie and grogster: Read "Pornified" by Pamela Paul. It's a really even-handed take on the prevalence of porn in todays society. Me and my bf read it through recently and it brought up a great many issues we had considered and even more that we discussed.
grogster Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Jersey Shortie and grogster: Read "Pornified" by Pamela Paul. It's a really even-handed take on the prevalence of porn in todays society. Me and my bf read it through recently and it brought up a great many issues we had considered and even more that we discussed. Thanks, Pink, I'll check it out--once I finsh downloading my latest cheerleader porn. Deal breaker!!!
mr.dream merchant Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Nothing wrong with gettin off to porn.
Jersey Shortie Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Thanks for sharing your story Kitty. It comes from such a different perspective and experience of my own and I like the honesty in it. And I have actually read that book. It is really good and I suggest more people read it. The Porning of the American Male raises an interesting point. For many men suckling on the Porn Teat, are regular women, by stint of being regular, ie, not phreak show porn star, unacceptable? Is a woman, by being within the mainstream sexually, unacceptable. If she doesn't f#ck like a porn star, is that a deal breaker? I wonder how many of these porn fanboys would feel if the tables were turned? It's an interesting question. Sometimes I feel like I can't just *be* myself enjoying myself and my boyfriend as *me* who wants to feel sexy but still be me. I am not a pornstar. I don't want to be one either.But I often do feel like men have expectations that you need to act more like a pornstar for them. I wish there were more men that could appreciate a woman's individualistic sexual nature then men that appreciate a very obvious, commericial sold perception of what someone else is telling them should turn them on for them to be *men*. People say porn doesn't effect them but if you are doing things you saw in a porno, or acting out things in a porno or dressing up like someone you saw in a porno, it's effecting you. And more often then not, it's the woman that has expectations for these things. Not the guy. I think the sad thing is that porn has really harmed men too. Not just women. And so often men define themselves by using porn. How many men do we hear say "well of course I look at porn, I'm a guy". I think men are selling themselves out and selling themselves short. I think it really takes away from the type or men they really could be that would make them *real* men that I think women would really respect more if men showed control, respect and pride in themselves. Porn doesn't showcase men or women in the best light. And it does take away from alot of things that make men so great. When a man really shows he has self control, respect and pride in himself and women. But so many men spend time today sitting nifront of their computers having a relationship with their hand and an imagine instead of being with their partner, learning a new skill, hanging out with their friends, or even helping other people. I don't think it's bad that men are turned on by boobs, butts, skimpy outfits. But the expectations today that women do infact have to live up to because their boyfriends and husbands entrench themselves in a world that is so over the top, is scary. Sometimes I do feel like I have to put on a bit of a show to keep him interested. I think alot of men define hot sex by their women acting more like porn starlettes. And some people might argue that that's sexual freedom for women. But if you ask me, it's not sexual freedom at all because "sexy" is still being controlled and defined through a very narrow perception of what is sexy and sex itself should be. It's churning out clone after clone after clone of the same scene, look and act that is sexy that alot of women struggle to live up to and can't just be sexy as who they are as an individual. And the people that are selling us that perception are sceevy guys that pimp out women. Is that who we really want to define sexuality for us? I think alot of men would question their place in their woman's life if we were treating them the same way. Nothing wrong with gettin off to porn. Well..porn doesn't treat men the same way it treats women. So I guess it makes sense for you to feel good about porn, it's meant to make men feel good. It's not really about treating women very good. there is nothing wrong with being turned on by other women or wanting to masturbate. But the industry of what porn is, something is very wrong with that. So yes, I would love to find a man that wasn't so heavily and easily influnced by his computer and internet. That would be wonderful to find such a man below the age of 40.
grogster Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 And some people might argue that that's sexual freedom for women. But if you ask me, it's not sexual freedom at all because "sexy" is still being controlled and defined through a very narrow perception of what is sexy and sex itself should be. It's churning out clone after clone after clone of the same scene, look and act that is sexy that alot of women struggle to live up to and can't just be sexy as who they are as an individual. And the people that are selling us that perception are sceevy guys that pimp out women. Is that who we really want to define sexuality for us? Very thoughtful, well argued points, JS. I understand this Thread targets "deal breakers," but the question becomes how much porn is too much porn and so becomes a deal breaker. I too worry about a NET Generation coming of age where Porn is King, and sexual individuality exiled to irrelevance. Yet one more thing to fret over.
rainfall Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I don't really have alot of deal breakers. 1.watches porn 2.goes to strip clubs 3.has/wants kids 4.expects me to do all the housework and cooking 5.hates cats
PinkKittyKat Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 I don't really have alot of deal breakers. 1.watches porn 2.goes to strip clubs 3.has/wants kids 4.expects me to do all the housework and cooking 5.hates cats Hahahah I love you. I should have added those too. A man who hates cats raises red flags in my head. If you're allergic thats fine, but I find many men who don't like cats are frustrated that a cat doesn't obey you or immediately fawn over you. You have to earn a cat's affection, and even then, it won't serve you blindly. That smacks of insecurity to me.
Trimmer Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 You have to earn a cat's affection, and even then, it won't serve you blindly. That smacks of insecurity to me. You can sense insecurity in your cat?
griffinchicken53 Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 i only watch porn for the superb acting skills. go watch the old 70's and 80's ones. they are more funny than anything. seriously i only watch because i'm not dating or having sex. i'm not into the 18 year old look where they don't have an ounce of fat on them. i go more for the women that are cute.
Recommended Posts