RecordProducer Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Can you elaborate on #4? I don't understand how the first sentence and the second correlate. I am more focused on personal growth and introspection but also pragmatic. I have the exact opposite view as you (of course I am male). I am turned off by women who are idealistic and not pragmatic. Quoted from Wikipedia: In Western civilization, Idealism is the philosophy which maintains that the ultimate nature of reality is ideal, or based upon ideas, values and essences and that the so-called external, or real world is inseparable from consciousness, perception, mind, intellect and reason in the sense of rigorous science. It is also a tradition in Western thought which represents things in an ideal form, or as they ought to be rather than as they really are, in the fields of ethics, morality, aesthetics, and value. Quoted from Mirriam-Webster's dictionary: Pragmatic - relating to matters of fact or practical affairs often to the exclusion of intellectual or artistic matters : practical as opposed to idealistic In short, an idealistic person is more concerned with the problems in the society than with getting that Guess purse at a discount price; will be excited about this eye-opening book he just read; will not bother to match the napkins with the plates; will not try to fit in at the expense of disowning his authencity; etc. It's a free-spirited, open-minded, unconventional person, who is focused on the "soft" factors in life, moreso than with the practical and material things; a person who is happier to make less money but love their job and change the world than to earn as much as possible regardless of the other factors; etc. I don't know how anyone could be turned off by idealistic people. An idealist is not someone who will day-dream while their kids are being neglected or someone who will spend many hours in front of the abortion clinics screaming "Murdereeeeer!"
Trialbyfire Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 9. Finds looks to be more important than the intellect RP, good luck with this one. When you find him, see if he's got a brother, will ya'?
RecordProducer Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 You are wrong. I am glad I am wrong! Ain't love grand?
xpaperxcutx Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Yay! here's mine - video games fanatic ( especially WoW; huge turn off) - Overly emotional ( a guy who cries more than me suddenly makes me the man in the relationship) - Tattoos and piercings extremist ( Travis Barker is not my cup of tea you get me?) - whiny and needy = dramatic - unkempt - Hairy ( I can't imagine dating a cave man) - homophobic - singleminded and unoriginal - short - lazy and fat that's all I can come up with at the moment, although I've been known to over look some of the above. Bad mistake. I should keep a private list to religiously remind myself not to lower my standards.
Ariadne Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Jeez, I think I'd date anything, I'll just have to like him. But most of the things people mentioned I think I could deal with.
RecordProducer Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 - video games fanatic - Tattoos and piercings - homophobic I have to add these traits to my list of deal breakers, too. that's all I can come up with at the moment, although I've been known to over look some of the above. Bad mistake. Which ones did you overlook? I think I'd date anything, I'll just have to like him. What does "like" comprise? You have to like his face and charm? You have to like talking to him?
xpaperxcutx Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Which ones did you overlook? I overlooked the video games and the dramatics. Never doing that again.
Capricciosa Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I find it encouraging that none of you have listed bitterness, lots of baggage, or uncontrollable sweating as deal breakers. Those are three of mine, especially the uncontrollable sweating during sex...
RecordProducer Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Does that make me too sensitive? Sensitive is sexy, sweet, and romantic. I can't stand bad eating habits in someone I date. It turns me off to the point that I can't date them.I bet you'd spread me all over a McDonald's table, Johan! 1. Axe murderer Did you add that one after your last ex? I am not a big fan of the crying man either. Well, with so many women being turned offf by man's tears, we now know where the stigma comes from. I find it encouraging that none of you have listed bitterness, lots of baggage, or uncontrollable sweating as deal breakers.Depends on what kind of bitterness and baggage. If he treats me with love and respect, I don't care what baggage lies in his back pocket. Of course, if he has childhood issues and cures them by abusing me - it'd make the relationship impossible to maintain. Regarding sweating, I don't mind it as long as it doesn't smell. Men can sweat during sex without smelling. As a matter of fact, I think it's hot. Well, I haven't met a man who wrote poetry that wasn't super depressing and lame! :laugh: Aha! So it's not writing poetry that turns you off but the Pavlov's reflex you've developed from the men you knew who wrote poetry!
lino Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Such very high standards! I'd be curious to know how many of you would/do actually follow through on them. I'd bet that none of you do.
lady_door Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Such very high standards! I'd be curious to know how many of you would/do actually follow through on them. I'd bet that none of you do. That's what I thought, too. There's a difference between deal-breakers and "things that I wouldn't be too happy about" and most of the things I read in this thread fit in the latter category I think.
lino Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Definitely. By the way I didn't intend to offend any of the ladies who responded in this thread by saying what I said, sounds a bit harsh after re-reading it I just don't believe any of you would be concrete on ALL the things you listed and wanted to basically say what lady_door has written In case any of you are curious, I only have 2 deal breakers for a girl I'm interested in and I'm not flexible on either one. 1. Musn't have more male friends than she does female ones. 2. Mustn't do any drugs at all. Not even pot. I don't mind if she smokes cigs or drinks alcohol socially though.
Ariadne Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 What does "like" comprise? You have to like his face and charm? You have to like talking to him? Is that click I guess. But then, I haven't done very well with that myself. It seems like that click only happens to me and not the other person.
LittleDove Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Im LMAO because most every deal breaker mentioned describes my X the ego! okay, my NEW revised list, as of now, deal breakers. control freaks(freaks in general) sociopaths narcissistic smokers heavy drinkers bad breathe bad personal hygene judgmental men shallow men overly sensetive men too nice nervous men lacking confidence(thats a biggy) little weeny (sorry) religious men selfish men stupid men dishonest men guys who cant build or fix stuff men with money problems anal attitude towards money uptight overly neat borderline camp acting straight men fat guys who scream at spiders(meaning I have to deal) guys who dont know about cars(i need a real man, bloke) lacking enthsiasm depressed guys non communicative men men who are afraid of emotions men who lie men with crazy X wives I dont mind kids! men who dont love thier mother unchangable attitudes okay I should stop, so basically I want the opposite of all these things;)
Humbleman Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 okay I should stop, so basically I want the opposite of all these things;) You’ve listed possibly every man who exists on this planet, you do realize that don’t you?
grogster Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 This is a really tough crowd. I don't know if these are deal breakers or merely disliked traits or deficient skill sets. A deal breaker is a seriously negative attribute that disqualifies the woman from a subsequent date once the attribute is discovered. As for women, my top 10 deal breakers include: hard drugs meaness to servers poor manners smoking eating disorders serious psychiatric problems obesity no sense of humor sexually repressed stupid/not bright/dumb as a post/brain dead
LittleDove Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 LOL, did I??? Hmmm well then, its a life of never wanting to commit, because these things piss me off!! LOL, I want the opposite of all that... Oh and, he has to want ivf!!! and he has to like tattoos... and he has to be LOVING. hey, id put up with alot, I have in the past, and I was a 'doormat' I have to find, and set some standards. frick!
kashmir Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Just a question since I've seen it on a few lists... When you say hairy, how MUCH hair? I've got pretty hairy legs, fairly hairy arms, and hair on my upper legs, butt, and chest. I keep it groomed and it's not like it's a rug...but honestly, women who want men to have as much hair as they do is a dealbreaker in itself.
lady_door Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 1. Musn't have more male friends than she does female ones. Really? Why?
kdark Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 In response to what Record Producer said about a small talk guy, I was always under the impression that talking about your opinions, theories, and ideas about things was something most women didn't care to hear about? I've been outof the dating game for over a year now, so I may be wrong... Or maybe I have just always associated with shallow women who only care about the new cd coming out, who's having the next big party, and HAVE to have shoes that match their Taking Back Sunday hoodie when they go to their concert...
2sure Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Men who get road rage. I think that in itself is very telling about a man. Shows me how small he is, as well as his temper.
girlstar Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 #1. Bad manners - Biggest turn off EVER! - Hunts animals - Man-Diva syndrome - Smells funny - I like my boys fresh and clean
alphamale Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 many womens turnoffs in a nutshell: no money or no looks = no date
StartingOver07 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 - Hunts animals As opposed to... ???
quankanne Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 abuse – physical, psychological, emotional or verbal – is HUGE NO-NO in my any of my relationships, because how do you improve a relationship with someone who has so little respect for you that they'd do something to hurt you this way? all else is negotiable.
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