serenitylies Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 My boyfriend and I, of 2 years broke up and hes now seeing someone else, with not even one week of the break up. I've stopped hanging out with friends because he is always with them and with the girl that he is seeing. He sleeps over sometimes every once in awhile. But they dont know. I cant get myself to move on because I still love him. He sometimes says that he still loves me and that he misses me and thinks about me. Everyday I feel like Im ready to collapse, and I dont know what to do anymore. Should I move on, or should I keep the hopes of maybe him asking for me back?
Dlyrica Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 What a prick! Move on honey, and definitely don't allow him to spend the night! He is with another girl and I can't imagine how devastating that is but him coming over all the time is not helping you move on. He does not deserve your time or respect in any way shape or form.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I think you the answer, serenity. He is treating you with disrespect by flaunting his new relationship (or whatever it is) in front of you. Do you think you deserve better than this?
lofi_tokyo Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Serenity, move on NOW! I was in your situation, I let my ex keep contacting me and using me for about a month and a half after the break up (while he was dating someone else!!) and honestly, three months now after the break up and all I can think is "damnit, I wish I had just gone NC asap". I needed to learn my lesson I guess... everyone told me to go NC straight away but I didn't, I had to hurt myself more and more until I figured it out. So... move on, let go, go strict NC and YEAH! Save yourself from becoming the infamously happy then sad, TokyoVogue. You deserve better. You may think hes worth waiting for but he is not. I know it is so incredibly hard to let go. I do. Trust me, I do. Maybe read my old threads and they'll help you out some, I don't know if they will, but maybe you'll be able to relate to some of them. Honestly though, please, please, I am trying to save you here, even if every part of you screams in pain to do otherwise, go NC now! Stash away everything he has given you - put it in the basement, or give it to a friend for safe keeping. Get rid of his pictures, or any little momento that reminds you of him. Do NOT check his myspace/facebook (this is so hard to do... probably the hardest bit), but its not worth your time, it will just set you back in healing. If you're a masochist like I am, you can even resort to imagining him loving the new girl 100x more than you, him sleeping with her, laughing with her, joking with her, holding her when shes down.... by putting myself through that emotional trauma I've A) had a few good laughs at how weird I am, and b) desensitized myself to the idea of my ex and the woman he left me for together. My ex was my first love. He won't be my last. Your ex was one of many loves, he is not the last. Remember that the man you will marry - though it may not seem like it NOW - will not need to date other woman to know you're worth it. Good luck, I am here if you need me, I know your pain.
Author serenitylies Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 But its so hard to move on when I mean, even tho I am only 17, I do love him. I mean, I took care of him when he was sick. I would come to his house afterschool and make him soup, and feed him myself. And when we go out to party, and he gets drunks, no matter how bad I feel, how drunk I am, I will always being supporting him when he goes up or down the stairs. Ill be rubbing his back when hes throwing up. Two years, and everything reminds me of him. Not just the items that he gives me, but the places that I go in my daily life that I cant avoid. I go to school and I think of him. The times that he would pick me up after school and Id run into his arms, not caring if people started at me funny. And imagining him with the other girl, holding her, kissing her, maybe even having sex with her, hurts alot. Everytime images come in my head without even me having to think of it, just hurts and it makes me want to cry, no matter where I am or who Im with. And no matter what there will always be some sort of contact between us. We both have the same friends. I refuse to go to our hangout spot because of him and that girl. I spend my days, wondering around, looking for something to do, calling people to see whats up or if they want to hang out, but then I remember, the people I love to hang out with is with him&her. We've broken up twice before. This is our 3rd time. And at the beginning of this breakup, he told me that he really really hopes to get back together after I get my life straight. Get my diploma and get into college. Ive been going to school and making progress. Doing what I needed to do. He's given me this hope that we will get back together. And sometimes I hold onto this hope, but other times I dont. I've made him promise me things, that may be hard to keep, but he tells me he loves me, so if he does, he'll keep the promises that he made. He's already broken two. I told him one more, and he can forget about getting back together with me at all. I will find someone better because, as I told him, "I DESERVE BETTER THAN YOU." But we made a deal with each other, not too long ago. Sealed with a pinky promise and a kiss. When hes 30, and Im 27 [which is 10 looong years from now] and we're both not married, then we marry each other. Kind of childish but its some hope... AND I HATE THAT I HAVE SO MUCH HOPE -.-'' EVEN WHEN I FEEL LIKE IM DEAD INSIDE.
Vince Black Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 yes moving on is the only way you are gonna start feeling better....it's a long road but every journey begins with but a single step. Lots of luck
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