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this letter for my date


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Posted
Love Forest, please listen to all the good advice! I am sure that you are a beautiful, loving, caring woman, but please listen to this:

 

I have lived on several continents as a woman, starting from the age of 18. Each time I had to change to fit in with the customs. You can NOT use your thoughts and feelings to talk to men in a different culture- UNLESS you learn the signs and signals for that new culture!

Please take your time to translate this. Each culture has different signs for what you want to say to a man. At the moment you are using your OLD culture to communicate with this man. This will be bad for you!!

Learn the new signs, behavior for the US culture- then you can talk to this man again. At the moment you will drive him away- if you continue with your OLD behavior.

 

Please ask your social worker, counsellor, help center to tell you more on what to say and do in the US, so that an American man can understand your intentions.

 

I learned new ways on 4 continents- I am certain you can do this! Take time for yourself- desperation is very bad in all cultures! You are a professional woman- be proud and happy with yourself first- then you will find a good man!!

 

I had this advice on the tip of my tongue but didn't quite know how to say it. This is one of the best pieces of advice I've seen on here in awhile.

  • Author
Posted

Please ask your social worker, counsellor, help center to tell you more on what to say and do in the US, so that an American man can understand your intentions.

 

this what is trying to show me, how to live in USA,

how to communicate with people here,

but it is not that easy for me.

I visited today my social worker and the advice was to "open my mouth" and to say him what I want, of course i have to write an email to meet face-to-face to talk....

Posted

Love Forest you are a wonderful young woman, with many talents! Please take time to develop your knowledge of the US culture first. It will make you feel good about yourself again to accomplish this!

When you feel good about yourself you will attract a wonderful man automatically- It will not be so hard! Right now it is so hard because you are not feeling well. You must concentrate on yourself first! Take it from me- I have done this many times over.

If your goal is to find a good man, then you MUST start being happy with yourself first.

 

:)When you are happy with yourself, then the men will flock to you! You will have to beat them off with a stick!!

Posted

Your screenname is quite humorous! lol

  • Author
Posted

reading and re-reading what you all tell me, and trying to understand it....

 

do you think is good at the first difficulty we have when we try to date someone always to move on when we have we/or the next person is confuse?

 

do you think always someone has to come to you and you never ask the next person why they want to move on.

 

it is very easy to go to the next and never try what the things did not work the way we want to work,

 

where is the boundary between "make the relation to work" and move on because there is always someone waiting for you, who is the right person ........

Posted

Do not send him anything. He doesn't like you that way and he has made it very clear. There are so many more men out there for you to meet. Just take your time to improve your communication skills and meet new people.

  • Author
Posted

here is his reply to my letter

"I appreciate the email, very much. Thank you.

 

Well, I'm not sure what to say. Or expect from dating. In other words, I'm not sure what I want right now.

For now, I am still meeting a few people on here, so I'll see how that goes. It's always a little awkward just "dating" people, but not being anywhere more than that. It's like a continuous job interview, and I tire of it sometimes, so I'll also be taking things a little more slowly.

But let's stay in touch and see where things go."

 

he divorced this year, in summer. Am I rebound?

 

What do you understand from his reply?

How to stay in touch?

Posted

Look at it this way, he wasn't so taken by you that he has stopped looking for others on the dating site. He was probably seeing others when he dated you a few times and he he has become more interested in one of them, sorry.

"Keep in touch"....hmmm.....I say that to relatives.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Love Forest, have you gotten together with this guy at all? How's it going? Or have you moved on?

Posted

regardless of where you're from...

 

that long letter is kind of too much I reckon, I dated this girl few years ago and she was very intense, she wrote me stuff on MS, which was kind of too much and it put me off...

 

so just go easy, yeah?

Posted
I know the life is not like in the books, but also the real life is not like on the dating site.

Those people are there and it seems the procrastinated in behind their computer and when i get dates,I can complain I get enough, but I disappointing I do not have any connection with them, nice persons although but no connection there.

they pursue me, send me emails everyday to meet again and it is hard to me but i tell them I do not have any conection with them.

he was the only one i was meeting more than once- 3 times-

 

There will be others. Wouldn't you like to be with someone who wants to be with you?

  • Author
Posted

i am still alone/ single/not boyfriend

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