Inexperienced Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Hi Everyone, This is my first post, so I appologise if i've put it in the wrong place or anything. I'm just looking for a bit of advice really, and would be gratefull for any help you could all give me. (Sorry for the long post) Basically i'm very inexperienced when it comes to sex, relationships, dating and girls in general. Its really embarrasing cos im 25 years old, im not a virgin, ive slept with 1 girl, who was also a virgin at the time, we were both 17... it really didnt go well, so I havent learned much from the experience at all. I've dated plenty if girls in the past (they always ask me out as ive always been too shy to make the move) but none of them have ever been quite right for me, I just have never fancied them, if you know what I mean. I kind of say yes to them as I dont want to offend. Anyway ill try to cut my life story a little shorter and get to the point I've basically met this girl, well i've known her for 2 years, we kind of work together sometimes, shes 23. I've fancied her so much since the first second I looked at her... about 8 months ago, I found out that she really likes me too, and basically we've been talking on msn every night since. We also started going out for meals and to the cinema and stuff a couple of weeks ago, theres been nothing sexual at all, apart from a kiss goodnight when I drop her off. I know she really likes me, and I definately like her, i've never felt this way about any one before, I dont know if it could be love or not! My problem is that im really scared about when the time comes to have sex, I really want to, and im sure she does too. But im just scared cos im so inexperienced and havent got a clue what to do, apart from jump on and stick it in and out .. I know she is very experienced when it comes to sex, she has a 3 year old child, and I know thats shes slept with many guys and had one night stands etc (I just know, its a longer story:) Am I right to be scared? Another reason im worried is that im not very big down below (5") and obviously she will have been with guys bigger than me, what will happen if she thinks im crap in bed? Also as I said above she has had a child, is it any different having sex with a girl whos had a baby? in the sence that her vagina will be big (dont know if ive worded that right) as I think that maybe she will not even feel me going inside her. Do girls compare with guys theyve been with? I read that poeple say its not size that matters, its what u do with it. But in my case I dont know what to do with it!! Will I mess everything up with her? Some people will probably say that I should go for girls that are more at my experience level, but I cant cos I like her so much. Im certain that she knows that im inexperienced, cos im so shy and innocent looking (people tell me), maybe thats what she likes about me, I dont know! I want advise on what to do, and how to do it, whether its me or her who makes the move. Please just give me ur opinions on what to do... Thanks and sorry for the long post.
lady_door Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Do you even know how sweet you are? Size doesn't really matter and experience alone doesn't make a good lover. I sincerely doubt that she will mind you being inexperienced... if anything she will find it a good thing that you didn't just jump into bed with every woman that came along! My advice is: talk to her. Tell her that you haven't had a lot of sex and that you're unsure about what to do. Tell her that you really like her a lot and that you don't want to disappoint her.
Yamaha Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 If you go in there with this attitude you probably won't even be able to do the deed. You have to feel like you are going to please her as well as yourself and have confidence in your abilities even if you have little experience. If there is desire then things will work out. You don't have to be the most gifted lover or the biggest if you show love and concern for your partner. If 2 people love each other and care then the sex is great no matter what....
Author Inexperienced Posted November 18, 2008 Author Posted November 18, 2008 Thanks for the reply lady_door. I am sweet My advice is: talk to her. Tell her that you haven't had a lot of sex and that you're unsure about what to do. Tell her that you really like her a lot and that you don't want to disappoint her. Its easy to say on here, but we dont really talk about anything to do with sex, she knows that I like her, I have told her that. But I really dont think I could say im inexperienced to her, i'd just be terrified of scaring her off. Even though like I said, she probably does already know, people always say to me I look sweet, inocent etc.
You'reasian Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Less than 5"? Well my friend....try to put it to work. Use that thing the way a woman would use a toy. Maybe that will help. You've got to get into it, maker her red hot with the way you kiss her, on the neck, collar bone, ear lobes etc. Tease her, get her in the mood to put it in.... I'm just about 6" and have found that women are okay with that, so I'm guessing that 5" would be okay?
Ponder Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Hey mate, firstly dont be embarrassed about being inexperience because we've all had to start some place. I think if i just give you some bedroom tips maybe youll feel a bit better going in there armed with some moves. Firstly yeah cock size can be a problem if your not all that good with it but you can negate that if your a caring and considerate lover. Women like different things at different times so somtimes you gotta be the master and somtimes its all cuddles and lovey dovey stuff. First tip is dont skimp on the fore play.......lots of touching and hugging and kissing. Remember all married guys with normal sized penises like yours have to deal with the larger vagina issue and the best way ive found is to become better with my oral technique and really make sure shes having a good time. If you penetrate her she will still love it cuz its you mate and shes keen on you. You may find you have problems being a little premature ejaculating so remember if that happens dont just stop dude keep going with something else so she doesnt miss out on the fun. Maybe the best peice of advice i can give you is to just relax and be natural. Your not sitting an exam mate your just showing your woman how much you love her. Just be honest and say "hey how about showing me how you like it to be cuz im new to this". If shes like most nice girls i know she will be understanding and wont mind helping you learn. Hey she digs you right ? cheers
lady_door Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Thanks for the reply lady_door. I am sweet Its easy to say on here, but we dont really talk about anything to do with sex, she knows that I like her, I have told her that. But I really dont think I could say im inexperienced to her, i'd just be terrified of scaring her off. Even though like I said, she probably does already know, people always say to me I look sweet, inocent etc. Well, yeah, you probably shouldn't say it out of the blue during dinner But when the situation comes up and you get more intimate with her.... I don't see how it would scare her off if you told her.
BlueHarvest Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I'm sure everything will work out man. I mean if she is the type of person who will curb you just because your not as large as other men she may have dated or as good as them then she isn't the right one for you. If she's as into you as much as you say she is I really wouldn't worry about it too much, just takes things nice and slow. Edit: Wow....funny how I can give advice on situations very similar to mine and not realize this advice for myself until after the fact...Ironic.
Crow9726 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Hey Ponder... I read your response...awesome!!! I am average size...and many years ago my father said that what you lack in equipment can be overcome with technique and enthusiasm. Wise words that I've always remembered...and I've had zero complaints...lol The original poster seems to have found someone who is patient and can help guide him through his apparent anxieties...once they find a shared comfort zone. Lucky him!
MusicChick24 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Try not to be so stressed about the situation. My boyfriend was unexperienced at everything when him and I started going out three years ago. Follow some of the previous advice. Bring her home, focus on floor play put the thought of your "size" out of your mind best you can, and just enjoy it. <3
Author Inexperienced Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 Thanks for the help. Ive just got to get it done now!
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