fabulousgal Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 i've gone NC. My situation is a little different in the sense, it wasn't a really long LTR, and we broke it off bc it turned into an LDR. We were together until the last minute possible, he initiated contact when i moved away (right away). but still, its mainly bc of him we aren't dating anymore. i would have tried, but he didn't seem to want to. Last time we talked in on the phone, we said we both really liked eachother. I am afraid to tell him how I really feel (miss him like mad), and while our once a week emails are nice, I feel like I am holding back...we had no problem saying these things when we lived in the same place. I just don't feel like I am getting what I deserve. Thats ok I guess if its not going to work, but I wish it weren't so, especially without trying. So I decided to go NC. No warning, no chat, no talk, just did it. I don't feel like talking it over, esp since 99% of our contact has been emails. This is just really hard. Part of me wonders if he noticed I fell off. I've been trying HARD to stay distracted. Yoga, workin, workin out, seeing friends, etc.....but I still feel pain over it.
Tony T Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 I'm not exactly sure what you are looking for here. You don't clearly state. You are the one who decided on NC and now you seem to be regretting it. If you saw no future in the relationship, no matter how fond you are of this guy NC is the best way to get your life on track and moving ahead again. Sure it's painful but if you think you can get involved in this love stuff without any pain, you need to find another planet. Moving on is not easy and there's no easy way to do it just as there is nothing you can spray on a wound and have it instantly heal.
Author fabulousgal Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 I do regret it, but then I can usually talk myself out of that feeling into understanding why i am choosing to go NC. I know the regret comes especially when I miss him. I know love can bring pain. I just hope for something different, soon.
carhill Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 What do you want, absent the end of the "pain"?
Author fabulousgal Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 I am not sure I understand your question carhill.
carhill Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 You hope for something "different" than the pain. What is that? Inspiration? Indifference? Just fishing here....
Author fabulousgal Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 Yes I wish I didn't feel sadness/hurt over this. Or just thinking about him in general. I am trying to control it when I do, with positive strong thoughts, or distractions. Sometimes it works better than others. I know everyone goes through this at some point or another. Deep down I guess I wish that the situation were different and I didn't feel like going NC was what I needed to do, or NC wasn't even a thought in my mind because things were going well. Thanks for asking carhill.
Author fabulousgal Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 Yeah, I'm not there yet. I am going through the motions of NC, and telling myself its over...but I know deep down i wish it were different, and that is still a strong feeling. hopefully it will diminish, sooner than later
carhill Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 FWIW, the feeling may always be there; the work is changing your perspective about how you consciously process it. It's a pretty cool process, which can be applied to many emotions in life. IOW, what you learn from this can help you in many ways
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