spike 1705 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I was reading on another thread hear about how a dumper (male or female) will just just shut down all at once - emotionally, physically..everything. The theory on that thread is that the dumper is selfish and was actually ending the relationship a long time previously, but basically didn't say a word until they dropped the bomb. I'm nearly six months in from my break up and miss my ex and best friend very much every day. I'm (barely) coping with that, but I still can't get my head around the whole shutting down thing. That's the bit that stung and scarred me the most. Any dumpers/dumpees care to share shutting down stories/theories please, just so I can get some perspective. Thanks
CaliGuy Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 This is really nothing new. Most of the time the person thinking about ending the relationship has considered doing so for some time prior to pulling the trigger (weeks or even months in advance). When they finally do end it, their minds are usually made up. When someone breaks up on a whim without much thought, the odds are much better for reconciliation. Think of it as those "we broke up for a week or two" kind of posts. The ones where the dumper says "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you" kind of talks….uhhh, no sorry. It's been over for some time. And chances are everyone BUT you were aware it was coming. Sucks, but that's life.
hereandnow Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Got the same lines, as you can see from my thread here. 2 or 3 weeks before the breakup, ex started pulling away, wanted to hang out less, less sex, less texts. Then got the "I don't think I love you romantically anymore" bit. It doesn't feel good at all. It was like like going down a hill and then over the edge of a cliff. Well, for the foreseeable future at least, she's not going to have me to confide in. I'm not going to be some "friend among friends!"
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