lofi_tokyo Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I'm stealing this from a book I just read, I can't post everything because the author is amazing, and its only fair that people buy his writing, but I can't help but post some of it. This is not the full letter, it is portions of the letter, if you like what you read google the story, maybe you'll find it? Or you could always buy his book! An excerpt from Angel Wing Splash Pattern - Richard Van Camp My Fifth Step: "A buddy of mine told me about his firth step in the AA program and how he so wanted to contact one of his ex's but couldn't. His reason, he told me, was that there is a sub-clause in this step. It says that, if by contacting someone you've hurt in your past you will put them in harm's way (usually by their present partner), you are not allowed to contact them." This is my 5th step, I miss you and I'm sorry. Do you think about me sometimes? I sure think about you. I think the hard feelings between us would go away if we just went for coffee sometime, just to check up on each other and see that the wounds weren't so deep anymore, but I don't think that will happen. You'll always be with me you know. No matter what. What we had was good and I'm sorry for any bad between us. Really I am. I think about you mostly when I'm around fire or when I hear a sad song. I start to feel hollow and I have to turn away. I look away and remember the nights we shared, the laughter - there was laughter. Remember? Before the battles, before the pissing contests between us about who was hurt more, who had done more, who had lied and betrayed more. I'd love to see you again in the best way, your way. No power, no overwhelmance, no control, just a soft hug and a smile. I'd love to hear how you're doing and where you've gone. I'd love to watch you talk about your friends, your job, your boss, what you do alone, where you go to gather strength. Do you still love to swim? Do you have children? Is he good to you? [...] I was surprised when you used how I communicate against me. [...] You wanted me to cry with you and I don't know any man who would or even could. You said I was capable of two emotions: anger and happiness, but that wasn't true either. I felt every emotion possible. Couldn't you read it in my eyes or hear it in my voice? My silence was never anger. It was meditation on everything you said, and sometimes I needed more time to answer than you would give me. [...] You took the two most sacred words I know with you: HOME and FAMILY. That's why I got so crazy and that's why I never came back. The man inside me felt betrayed. The little boy inside me felt abandoned. The elder inside me was heartbroken with all the dreams I had for us. My spirit split when you left and it took oh about four years to get back to me. I feel down. Sure I did. I'm not going to talk about it but some of the rumors about me are true... [...] I figured that if I sent this letter here and got it published it would somehow find its way to you and you'd know that it was me and you'd know I was sorry. [...] Most of all, though, I miss how when we slept together you wrapped your arms around me and never let go. I never thanked you enough for all you did for me and I want to thank you for trusting me when we first met. You never held back and I did, and I never wanted to become the biggest disappointment of your life. [...] Take care of yourself and thank you again for all your love. You made me feel so special. I'm a better man because of you and I know what's possible. Be gentle with yourself, my friend... now and forever... I miss your love and friendship... Walk in beauty... Okay I think I've put up enough of this lovely little letter tucked away in a collection of stories. The author writes in the back of his novel, where he explains each story, that this story goes out to everyone he has ever known and say "I am sorry...". The letter in its entirety is so sweet and sentimental... I had to post it in sections. I didn't pick the best sections or the worst, I just put in tidbits that popped out while I was typing this out. Reading this letter gave me some sort of inner peace. I hope it can do the same for some of you out there!
replicator Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 That's pretty heavy stuff tv.. Not sure if I find it gives me any peace, but thanks for sharing. lol. Perhaps I relate too closely to him, and the anguish that he has been through. I think if I read that book, I'd use up a whole box of kleenex. I rented the move "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", that gave me some inner peace and a few laughs
JooLee Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 "I look away and remember the nights we shared, the laughter - there was laughter. Remember? Before the battles, before the pissing contests between us about who was hurt more, who had done more, who had lied and betrayed more." totally relate to this. " You never held back and I did, and I never wanted to become the biggest disappointment of your life." wow... "Take care of yourself and thank you again for all your love. You made me feel so special. I'm a better man because of you and I know what's possible. Be gentle with yourself, my friend... now and forever... I miss your love and friendship..." well this not at all. yeah he made me feel special but im a better person not because of him but because of myself. experience awoken me, but i did somethin about it, so i am better because of me me me. lol. because, i am determined that the only person that can make a difference for you is yourself. but overall, it was a pretty interesting excerpt, hopefully i'll find a copy where im at.
Dlyrica Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I really felt that and it made me tear up. I'll have to read that sometime.
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