I Think I Have A Problem - Womanizer

[johan]

I don't think anyone would argue whether you're an a-hole. I think the issue is whether that's the kind of person you really want to be. If you knew you could be accepted as who you really are, without all your suppressed emotions, and without the cool, womanizer attitude, wouldn't that be better?

 

You've already admitted that this person you've become is only part of who you really are. That just makes you an actor.

[Trialbyfire]

Did you know that sex addiction is an imbalance in the chemicals in your brain? You'd best consider some therapy. What you're experiencing is highly dysfunctional.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20080111-000001.html

 

Psychiatrist Aviel Goodman, founder and director of the Minnesota Institute of Psychology, believes that sexual addiction stems from an imbalance in the chemicals that operate the brain's reward system. Impulse control takes a hike when the reward system is askew, leaving a person mired in a cycle that mimics that of an alcoholic. These people must increase the intensity and frequency of their behavior to continue reaching the same level of pleasure or escape.

 

As for the advertising of your site, I sincerely hope no one is going to go to your site, since you then gain access to their IP addresses. Also, if you're currently experiencing dysfunctional behaviours, is it wise to be giving advice to other poor slobs like you?

[casanovacorner]

SO what about the current gf?

She doesn't mean anything to you?

 

Of course. I love her, but not nearly as strongly as I believe I should. I care about her, but it doesn't bother me the least bit when we fight. We had a fight Saturday night, and I had to keep from laughing at her when she started crying. That sounds bad, but it's true. The more disappointment and anger people feel, the more amused I am.

 

I actually watch deal or no deal and hope they get the penny. The only show I actually cheer for people to win on is Millionaire. Anything else, I want people to lose. The worse they lose, the more joy it brings me. She always says, "you're a horrible person." Sometimes I really think there is something wrong with me.

[casanovacorner]

I don't think anyone would argue whether you're an a-hole. I think the issue is whether that's the kind of person you really want to be. If you knew you could be accepted as who you really are, without all your suppressed emotions, and without the cool, womanizer attitude, wouldn't that be better?

 

You've already admitted that this person you've become is only part of who you really are. That just makes you an actor.

 

So if I show the other part of who I am, am I not still acting? Or is it only acting when the part that people see is the part they don't like, so they refuse to believe that its the real you?

 

I'm just curious, but was Hitler acting when he killed all those people? Was there some part to him that was the "real" him? Not comparing myself to Hitler, but I'm just asking why is it acting if I choose to only display part of my personality. We all grow up into the kind of adults that our world shapes us into. My circumstances have led me to choose this personality. I'm not saying its right or that I can't change. We all change constantly, but I don't believe I'm an actor any more than you would be an actor for choosing to be loving.

[casanovacorner]

Did you know that sex addiction is an imbalance in the chemicals in your brain? You'd best consider some therapy. What you're experiencing is highly dysfunctional.

 

Isn't everything based on some kind of chemical reaction in your brain? Who's to say that not being a sex addict isn't the real imbalance? Are these studies based on a preconceived notion of how we're "suppose" to think and act?

 

If I kill someone, is that because of an imbalance in my brain? What if I join the military, knowing that I might have to kill someone, is that an imbalance too? What if I hate sex, is that an imbalance?

 

What I'm asking, is who's to say how much someone should or shouldn't like something?

 

As for the advertising of your site, I sincerely hope no one is going to go to your site, since you then gain access to their IP addresses. Also, if you're currently experiencing dysfunctional behaviours, is it wise to be giving advice to other poor slobs like you?

 

Its only advice on how to get women. If they want to know, they read, if not, then they don't. Just because I'm having an emotional conflict doesn't mean that someone else isn't completely sure about what they want out of life. I have a lot of experience in the field of women, so I help where I can, lol, if you can call it helping them.

[johan]

but I'm just asking why is it acting if I choose to only display part of my personality.

 

Is that not deceptive? If a girl you're dating chooses to hide the fact that she's extremely racist and has a severe temper and lots of debt until after you're married, how are you going to feel? Deceived.

 

You're just hiding the part of you that cares. So whoever you're with is going to be surprised when they find out that's not how you really are. Not only that, but they're going to wonder what else you chose to hide. Not only that, but they're going to wonder why you hid it. If you reject something important about yourself, that reveals a couple of things: self-hate and emotional immaturity.

 

The longer you choose this false lifestyle, the more opportunities you miss to lead a real life. You shouldn't yield to your fear, and should instead have courage and take the risks from which you can get real rewards.

 

The way you're acting now is even riskier, in a lot of other ways.

[Trialbyfire]

To apply your same logic, if sex addiction isn't dysfunctional, then being unable to love for you, isn't dysfunctional.

 

Carry on then, with your site advertising. Once again, straight up, you don't believe you have a problem. You're just looking for poor slobs to fall for your routine. Manipulative behaviour is annoying, especially when it's so transparent.

[johan]

Once again, straight up, you don't believe you have a problem.

 

But the headline of the entire thread is about a problem. You should check that again. It wouldn't be honest to lure people in by saying you have a problem when you actually don't believe you have one. Who would do that?

[Trialbyfire]

But the headline of the entire thread is about a problem. You should check that again. It wouldn't be honest to lure people in by saying you have a problem when you actually don't believe you have one. Who would do that?

I've checked it again and again. The carpet doesn't match the drapes.

[casanovacorner]

Is that not deceptive? If a girl you're dating chooses to hide the fact that she's extremely racist and has a severe temper and lots of debt until after you're married, how are you going to feel? Deceived.

 

I'm very honest with women I mess around with. I tell them I'm not in it for a relationship. Then its up to them to choose. On the other hand, if I asked her about those things, and she told me the opposite, then yes, I would feel deceived.

 

You're just hiding the part of you that cares. So whoever you're with is going to be surprised when they find out that's not how you really are. Not only that, but they're going to wonder what else you chose to hide. Not only that, but they're going to wonder why you hid it. If you reject something important about yourself, that reveals a couple of things: self-hate and emotional immaturity.

 

I would love to be a boxer and knock people out, seriously. I don't box, so is that a sign of emotional immaturity? I've wanted to do it since I can remember. Never pursued it though. Should I?

 

The longer you choose this false lifestyle, the more opportunities you miss to lead a real life. You shouldn't yield to your fear, and should instead have courage and take the risks from which you can get real rewards.

 

What if I do try to be loving, and then I feel that I really don't like it. Wouldn't that also be giving into a false lifestyle if I'm not really comfortable with it?

[johan]

The premise of this thread was that you had a problem. But you've spent a lot of time arguing that you don't have a problem. Which is it? You seem to be proud of what you initially identified as an issue. It seems a bit disingenuous.

 

If you don't actually spend any time working on a problem here, you risk having this thread identified as an advertisement and getting it and your account deleted.

 

So, what is the problem that you are struggling with. And how can we help?

[casanovacorner]

To apply your same logic, if sex addiction isn't dysfunctional, then being unable to love for you, isn't dysfunctional.

 

I simply asked by who's standard is functional and dysfunctional determined. If I was on the other end of the spectrum and hated sex, is that also a dysfunction? What exactly is the right amount of sex to have?

 

I studied psychology and one thing that always bothered me about it was there were too many varying opinions on a subject to create an absolute. In order to determine what is too far left or too far right, you need to figure out what the middle ground is. So I'm asking, what is the right amount of sex to desire before its not considered dysfunctional?

 

I ask because if you read through the posts, plenty of people said that there is nothing wrong with me, then you say is a chemical imbalance and there is a problem. I would just like some clarity on your part why you believe so.

 

Carry on then, with your site advertising. Once again, straight up, you don't believe you have a problem. You're just looking for poor slobs to fall for your routine. Manipulative behaviour is annoying, especially when it's so transparent.

 

Only when the chemical imbalance in your brain allows you to make up your own universe in which everything is only true if you say it is. You have the real chemical imbalance if you INSIST on saying what I'm doing, even though I'm not. That's called delusion. Making up the world around you to fit what you believe, whether its true or not.

 

By the way, manipulation is only manipulation if the person doesn't know what is going on. My sig is clearly a site that one has to TYPE into their browser. There is no link there that they can click. They have to take deliberate action to visit my site. There is no manipulation there, but you continue to live in your made up fantasy world. Have fun.

[casanovacorner]

The premise of this thread was that you had a problem. But you've spent a lot of time arguing that you don't have a problem. Which is it? You seem to be proud of what you initially identified as an issue. It seems a bit disingenuous.

 

Actually I've spent a lot of times asking questions about why people come to certain conclusions. I never argued that I didn't have a problem. I asked why it was considered dysfunctional. My problem is that I want to love, but can't seem to love like I want to.

 

If you don't actually spend any time working on a problem here, you risk having this thread identified as an advertisement and getting it and your account deleted.

If I recall, having a sig isn't a form of advertising simply because you posted 1 thread. 2nd, just because I'm not accepting random BS that gets tossed out, doesn't mean I'm not working on the problem. BS is tossed out, and when I ask for an explanation of the BS, the question is avoided and the only resort is to accuse me of advertising.

 

The fact is, if you read the responses, some people have said the exact polar OPPOSITE of what you are saying. I'm not just going to agree with you because you decided to post a response. I'm considering everything, but when you say something and someone asks you to explain further, and you don't, it comes across as BS and that you really don't know what you are talking about.

 

So, what is the problem that you are struggling with. And how can we help?

 

Answer above.

[casanovacorner]

By the way, I just took my sig down, so now you have no excuse to not explain yourself. I'm sure that the two of you won't have much to talk about anymore, now that you can't say I'm advertising.

[Lovelybird]

The more sexual activities you engaging, the more you are hunger by it, the more deeper hole in your soul. I think you realized that you want to be free from it. You already came to a place that not enjoy sex as a love expression, but you to be a slave of lust, a prisoner of driven impulse.

 

If you want to be freer, more engaging in sex isn't the solution, it will never have end, you will never satisfied by it

[johan]

You're attempting to get your website publicity here, and possibly to profit, which is puts you in violation of the terms of agreement.

 

I understand that you want to work on your problem here with us. You'll probably have to fix your signature or lose the chance to do so.

[Trialbyfire]

 

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Your sig doesn't have to contain a link to violate the site rules.

[carhill]

Yeah, and don't even think about surrounding it with *cough*xxxx*cough*

[windows]

so this is why you're asking me to be a jerk.

 

Anyway, you have no problem getting women and are honest with them. But it sounds like you have a problem with commitment. While it seems like you know a lot about women; do you think about their body or their souls? Have you looked at your girlfriend and felt no sexual desire? Well first off, does sex mean anything to you in terms of intimacy? If it doesn't (which is sounds like it doesn't) then you have to look elsewhere for some true meaning of intimacy. Because being committed means that you are willing to be intimate.

 

Try going celibate for a while; even from your girlfriend. You're a player so if you don't want to be a player; then stop picking up women for a while. I mean, you already have a girlfriend who you're interested in a long term relationship with. There has to be something more than sex in your eyes when you look at her. Once you see it; pursue it.

 

Then again; what do I know about love?

[Trialbyfire]

Okay, it appears that the advertising is gone from your sig. Now to help you with your issues of being unable to love.

 

Love is as people have stated in another thread, a choice. It has much to do with conditions, at least between adults. One condition that's fairly prevalent, is that you have to be able to trust the other individual who you aspire to love. Unless it's unrequited love, it's not often you see two adults who can grow emotionally from infatuation to real love.

[CommitmentPhobe]

Nicely said!

A real womanizer would never advertise it.

 

In real life

 

On a forum I doubt he gives a crap who knows.

[CommitmentPhobe]

CC I know where you're coming from. The problem with being able to get pleasure is that it becomes addictive, nothings enough and you want more. The problem with that is that if you have any kind of conscience or quest for substance in life you end up feeling guilty about it and wondering what you're doing. The problem with letting go of that pleasure is that you get a massive down.

 

Something will break the cycle though, as part of the natural course in life sooner or later it will come to an end so enjoy it while it lasts.

[casanovacorner]

You're attempting to get your website publicity here, and possibly to profit, which is puts you in violation of the terms of agreement.

 

I understand that you want to work on your problem here with us. You'll probably have to fix your signature or lose the chance to do so.

 

Sig was gone well before you posted this, and as I figured, nothing much to say.

[casanovacorner]

so this is why you're asking me to be a jerk.

 

Being a jerk is only 1 of many ways to get a woman. If being the nice guy doesn't work, try the opposite.

 

Anyway, you have no problem getting women and are honest with them. But it sounds like you have a problem with commitment.

 

That would be 100% correct.

 

While it seems like you know a lot about women; do you think about their body or their souls?

 

Not at all. The name says it all, Casanova. Giacomo was a womanizer, all that romantic stuff was made up to create a story. In real life, he slept with every women he got his hands on. I'm not saying its right, its just what has been happening.

 

Have you looked at your girlfriend and felt no sexual desire?

 

From time to time, but maybe that's normal. I see that all the time on talk shows. Then again, they are there for help. I don't feel like having sex everyday though, so maybe its not just her.

 

Well first off, does sex mean anything to you in terms of intimacy?

 

Not in the least bit. I'm horny, I'll have sex. Its just a way to reach climax for me.

 

If it doesn't (which is sounds like it doesn't) then you have to look elsewhere for some true meaning of intimacy. Because being committed means that you are willing to be intimate.

 

Intimacy: sexual intercourse (that's from http://www.dictionary.com) along with 7 other definitions that don't seem to fit what you are describing. I get what you're saying though.

 

Try going celibate for a while; even from your girlfriend.

 

Oh wow, lol. She's a nympho. That celibate thing might work for a week, max. I did it before for a while, I made it through a month with her, and all hell broke loose in our relationship lol. Lots of arguing. That's my way of getting her to shut up.

 

You're a player so if you don't want to be a player; then stop picking up women for a while. I mean, you already have a girlfriend who you're interested in a long term relationship with. There has to be something more than sex in your eyes when you look at her. Once you see it; pursue it.

 

There is a lot more than sex. My problem is wanting to just have sex with other women. She's my girlfriend because there is more to her than just sex. With everyone else, its just a physical thing.

 

Then again; what do I know about love?

 

While I do know how to get women, I'm not by any means an expert on love. You probably have me beat on that one.

[casanovacorner]

In real life

 

On a forum I doubt he gives a crap who knows.

 

Amen, finally someone that realizes that this is the Internet, and nobody knows who I am. That's the point of a board like this. You can be open and honest and nobody knows anything about you really. Only 2 people that I know even know about my website, so anyone else that sees this post and knows me, won't even know its me doing the posting.