You'reasian Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 So I've run across a few threads mentioning players - female disgust for them etc. What makes a player? Is this someone who purposely seeks the appearance of a relationship without the commitment? How close is this to "open relationships"? If an individual desires a private sex life from the current person they are seeing does this make them a player? If an individual desires a committed relationship but finds themselves in several relationships that are mutually non-committed, does this make them a player?
BlueHarvest Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 A person finding themselves in a few non-commited relationships is not a player. A player is a person who SEEKS OUT non-commited relationships with multiple partners. And a person who seeks out a "private sex life away from the person they are seeing" is called the OTHER Man/Woman. I.E. Cheating. Seems like someone with your experience on the forums should know these simple things. So I might ask...for what reason are you asking about what "makes a player"?
IrishCarBomb Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 A player uses deception to get what he wants from women. Without deception, nobody gets "played". It's actually rather shocking how people react when you are honest, even if you think you should be slapped in the face for saying the things you say.
Geishawhelk Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 A player is someone who kisses you, looks into your eyes and tells you you're the best thing thst ever happened to him. And tells six other women that week, the same thing.......
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 A player is someone who plays around with multiple partners for sexual purposes i.e. a guy who goes around a club acting all honest and sweet chatting up a girl...and half an hour later is all over the other. Typical rapper music videos show you a little of what a player is like...
casanovacorner Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Rappers show you what bing a TRICK is like. That's not being a player, that's spending tons of money to get girls to sleep with you. I'm sure you've heard people talk about "making it rain" in a strip club. That's throwing lots of cash on stage in order to get a stripper's attention, you don't need any skill for that. A player is one that views the dating scene as a game. He or she is usually single and has no commitment or plans to be in a committed relationship. Most players know what men or women like, what to say, and how to get what they want, without throwing cash around. Being a player doesn't mean you have to lie. That is more a stereotype than a fact. Men and women who lie are simply liars, pretending to be players.
D-Jam Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 The fine line between a ladies man and a playa is respect. Most REAL ladies men that I've met...guys who can get hot girls sleeping with him easily without any commitment AND without lying or misleading them...they love and respect women. However often times they also aren't wanting to commit to anyone, yet plenty of women like them enough to just have sexuality shared between them. A PLAYA is a guy who lies to women, misleads them, etc...in order to get laid. So the ladies man will have hot girl wanting him, but he'll make it clear he doesn't want a RL. Hot girl might still try to sleep with him and see if he'll change his mind, but he respects her enough to be honest, despite that he'll still take the sex. If she gets hurt, then it's her own fault. Many will also cut ties with women if he can see she's going to keep pushing him to give more than he wants to give...rather than keep taking the free sex and hurting her. A playa might get the interest of hot girl, but rather than say he doesn't want a RL, he'll tell her he likes her a lot or even pull out the L word (when he doesn't mean it), or play on his words. He'll tell her he wants marriage, family, etc...but doesn't really make clear if he wants all that with her. Girl usually assumes he meant her and thus gives herself to him. He moves on quickly to the next girl, leaving the recent one wondering what happened and realizing he lied and/or mislead her.
Author You'reasian Posted November 17, 2008 Author Posted November 17, 2008 Blue, I ask simple questions at times so that others will give answers from their own perspectives and points of view. So an individual who has a private sex life, separate from the person they are in a committed relationship is cheating. An individual who has a private sex life, separate from the person they are dating is also cheating? An individual who blatantly lies to get a girl is a player. An individual who treats the opposite sex with respect, is able to have sex with them but does not desire commitment is a lady's man? So..... An individual who treats the opposite sex with respect, wants a committed relationship but can only get the sex (and doesn't complain) is a____________?
Isolde Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 You sorta answered your own question. A player is someone who actively seeks out open relationships and is purposely unclear about his motives with the women he's dating. If someone is actively taking steps to find a committed relationship, I probably wouldn't consider him a player.
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