gwynieatpain Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Please help me fellow LSers. I have received an email just now from my ex-fiance who is now in vietam for holiday, saying that he wanna meet up on 26th or 27th. Simple as that. During the break up I swore to him that we should never ever see each other, contact each other again. He knew that. I have blocked his email but he has opened up a new account to send me this email. I don't know. I'm so confused now. I don't understand what this is for. As someone may recall my story, I have flown over to Sydney to see him just wanted to have closure but he refused to see me and packed my stuff and send to my hotel. It's only 7 weeks ago. I thought I was over it. Now he wants to see me? What the fxxx? Ok. This is my thought. If I don't meet him I will be regreting for life, even though I know there is no point to meet up. So before going for it, I may write him back to ask what it is this for. If he wanted to give me closure, I will let him know I have given myself closure and there is no need to resume our contact anymore. If he does want to apologize, that will be great since I really deserve an apology.
Geishawhelk Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 No, No, NO!! DO NOT reply! Block this new address! Let it go, don't think about it and make out-of-town plans for those days!! seriously! He will chew you up all over again, and just yank your chain! Do not give him the satisfaction! He does not rule your heart and mind, you do! Lock him out!
sailing Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I very much agree with Geishawhelk - please heed her advice! In my experience, this is the situation where your own hopes will already have disguised themselves insidiously as fate and even logic - you probably feel that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. That's not true. Don't respond. Or tell yourself you will respond later, if nothing else. Perhaps if he reveals his intentions - or apologises. Why should you have to prompt him?
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 17, 2008 Author Posted November 17, 2008 I hate to say it ... but you guys are so right. He will write to me again if he wants to. Why should I bother now?
sedgwick Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 He doesn't deserve you! He treated you horribly! Ignore, ignore, ignore. In the end you'll be thankful you were so strong. I agree with Geishawhelk 100%.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Its incredible that just as you announced here on LS that you had moved on he e-mailed you! I guess its true! They only really contact you when its over!
openbook08 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 what a ***** agree with everyone here IGNORE it block this email too take it from someone who DID respond (after bein so strong with NC & who was really beginning to feel positive again) youre gonna end up back at square one. had he left me alone Id be 5months NC now but I let him back in again & he hurt me worse than the initial break up so now Im 4months behind (as this was only recently - I since blocked changed deleted everything I could) if he wants you if hes truly sorry HE'LL find YOU not you jumpin when he says how high? just my opinion. sorry youre in this dilemma lovey X
replicator Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Wow.. I know if that happened to me, it would be incredibly difficult not to respond. I hope I'd be strong as listen to these good folks here at LS. You deserve better. Don't let him think he can have you on a whim.
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 18, 2008 Author Posted November 18, 2008 Thanks everyone. Ya for some reason our ex just knows the time we moved on and tries reaching us. I feel bad again. All the memories flood in I still love him and miss him so much. I didn't write back, and I know I won't because it hurts. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, ex sucks.
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 Sorry it may disappoint you guys since I wrote him back. But please take a look for what I wrote I'm so proud of myself. XXXXX(ex's name), I thought I make it very clear that we should never see or even contact each other ever again. You were the one who decided to end this relationship, after all. I respect your choice. At the very least, I expect that you will extend to me the same courtesy in return. It was truly disgusted and disappointed with your behaviour and actions. In case you don't realise it, your immature behaviour is actually considered immortal in Chinese culture. No one deserves to be treated like this. I've given myself closure and plan to move on without looking back. I have contact your parent already to say goodbye and to thank them for caring me in the past years. From now on I will strictly block your emails. Hope you enjoy life in Sydney with your new girl. Gwyn I FEEL SO GOOD NOW!
Geishawhelk Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 .....In case you don't realise it, your immature behaviour is actually considered immortal in Chinese culture. I hope you meant - and put - "ImmoRAL"....!! otherwise - OK, I see your point, and good for you! But - if he responds - finding a way through yet again - Don't fall for it! This is a good FINAL message! Anything you put from now on will simply justify his feeding you bait! Shut the book and step up into the rest of your wonderful life!!
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 I hope you meant - and put - "ImmoRAL"....!! otherwise - OK, I see your point, and good for you! But - if he responds - finding a way through yet again - Don't fall for it! This is a good FINAL message! Anything you put from now on will simply justify his feeding you bait! Shut the book and step up into the rest of your wonderful life!! Hahahaha Opps! I did it again. Need more practice for my English. Wakakakaka ..... Thankyou you guys for all the support and caring. It means a lot to me.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Sorry it may disappoint you guys since I wrote him back. But please take a look for what I wrote I'm so proud of myself. XXXXX(ex's name), I thought I make it very clear that we should never see or even contact each other ever again. You were the one who decided to end this relationship, after all. I respect your choice. At the very least, I expect that you will extend to me the same courtesy in return. It was truly disgusted and disappointed with your behaviour and actions. In case you don't realise it, your immature behaviour is actually considered immortal in Chinese culture. No one deserves to be treated like this. I've given myself closure and plan to move on without looking back. I have contact your parent already to say goodbye and to thank them for caring me in the past years. From now on I will strictly block your emails. Hope you enjoy life in Sydney with your new girl. Gwyn I FEEL SO GOOD NOW! Wow you are so strong for typing that all out! Congratulations Gywn! You absolutely inspire me - I love much you value yourself, and are able to just walk away from a bad man, even when he once meant so much to you. Thats awesome!
BoerumHill Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Sorry it may disappoint you guys since I wrote him back. But please take a look for what I wrote I'm so proud of myself. XXXXX(ex's name), I thought I make it very clear that we should never see or even contact each other ever again. You were the one who decided to end this relationship, after all. I respect your choice. At the very least, I expect that you will extend to me the same courtesy in return. It was truly disgusted and disappointed with your behaviour and actions. In case you don't realise it, your immature behaviour is actually considered immortal in Chinese culture. No one deserves to be treated like this. I've given myself closure and plan to move on without looking back. I have contact your parent already to say goodbye and to thank them for caring me in the past years. From now on I will strictly block your emails. Hope you enjoy life in Sydney with your new girl. Gwyn I FEEL SO GOOD NOW! Good job! Myself, I would have opted for "F off A-hole", but yours is immortal. Stay strong.
ProudToBeMeAgain Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Yup, I Agree with Boreumhill!! My ex fiancee ended our relationship with a handful of insults, low comments and plenty of blows to my self esteem. "you'll never find someone that will love you the way I do... blah.. blah... you're too fat anyway, who will accept you??... blah... blah... blah... Look at you! You're ugly and I still loved you... blah... blah... blah.." All that said and not even 3 weeks later, he was begging me to go back to him. I listened to all his cries, his "oh I made a mistake" crap... BUT I NEVER REPLIED TO ANYTHING... just listened. You're braver than me. I never actually wrote him anything longer than 6 words. I simply said: Dear XXX Fxxx You! Love, Me That was the last time I ever heard from him. Many years later (about 10), I heard he did marry an ugly, fat woman who actually left him for another guy!! Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with ugly or fat women... it's just that he accused me to being ugly and fat but ended up married to someone just like... well... yeah.. me!! And she left him!!! LOL Good job sweetie!! Keep up the good work! You'll have the last laugh, I promise!! And that will happen when you realize that you are better off without him!
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 Yup, I Agree with Boreumhill!! My ex fiancee ended our relationship with a handful of insults, low comments and plenty of blows to my self esteem. "you'll never find someone that will love you the way I do... blah.. blah... you're too fat anyway, who will accept you??... blah... blah... blah... Look at you! You're ugly and I still loved you... blah... blah... blah.." All that said and not even 3 weeks later, he was begging me to go back to him. I listened to all his cries, his "oh I made a mistake" crap... BUT I NEVER REPLIED TO ANYTHING... just listened. You're braver than me. I never actually wrote him anything longer than 6 words. I simply said: Dear XXX Fxxx You! Love, Me That was the last time I ever heard from him. Many years later (about 10), I heard he did marry an ugly, fat woman who actually left him for another guy!! Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with ugly or fat women... it's just that he accused me to being ugly and fat but ended up married to someone just like... well... yeah.. me!! And she left him!!! LOL Good job sweetie!! Keep up the good work! You'll have the last laugh, I promise!! And that will happen when you realize that you are better off without him! Wakkakakkakkaa, Gee ... I should do the same thing. Send him to hell! He doesn't even derseve to get a "Fxxx". Man I'm so suck on everything, both my English skill and computing knowledges. I thought it is the end. I blocked his email, thought that I will never heard from him again. You know what happen? I receive an email from him again. Yes. Again. Damn. Here's his return email: Hi Gwyn, I will return the coutesy, but I thought you would like to have a face to face conversation since i didnt see you when you came to sydney. I heard stories from xxx (his brother) that you came to Sydney to get your things but I already told you that I would be on hoildays then. (Note: He lies, he was still in Sydney at that time and switched off his mobile. I'm so damn sure) Doesnt matter that is all in the past. Wish you all the best in the future and all that you do. If you still want to meet up when I am in HK I am more then happy to see you. If not, all the best and I swear this would be the last time you will hear from me!! Thanks for your love and care XXXXXX(ex's name) P.S - There is no other girl (Note: another lies, will you go on a 3 weeks holiday to Vietam with your female co-worker whom you have met for only 5 months. Don't tell me there is only friendship between them.) Gwyn. I made the decision because it was for the best (Note: Bull****!) What a joke. He's so confusing. Why bother to invite for meeting up if a guy decide to break up with his fiancee?? (while there is nothing else needed to be settled.) I'm so regret for not listening to you guys I should ignore him completely. But then I thought he would keep emailing me he's just too dumb to get the message. If he's giving me a chance to slap him. Hell yes, I go hard (virtually, don't want to see him anymore).
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 OK. Since I decide to ignore him completely from now on I rather post here instead. I want to write him back like ... XXXXX (ex's name) It's the most insulting invitation I have ever gotten in my whole life. Go away. I'm not here for your ego boost. You are confusing, self-centred, immature in all ways you have never been honest to me or to yourself. you will never get your love you will only repeat the same mistake and live with the same mistake. It's your business. Thanks for setting me free. The past five year was a complete collection of tragicomedy, I was with the best leading actor. You play well, very well. Congradulation it is the final scene you are now having the next chapter with the next unfortunate one. I don't mind if I piss you off. I just don't care. Hate me and fxxx off. Gwyn haha ... may be I should reconsider to send it to him. So satisfying.
Geishawhelk Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enough now!!! You know he's a liar. He knows he's a liar. He's not worth your time. You responded once (against advice!!) and now he's trying to reel you in and play you like a fish. Stop it now! Don't respond, don't reply, don't send anything, any more!! Leave him! ....You know the dirt on the bottom of your shoes? Lick it. It's better and healthier for you than he is!!
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enough now!!! You know he's a liar. He knows he's a liar. He's not worth your time. You responded once (against advice!!) and now he's trying to reel you in and play you like a fish. Stop it now! Don't respond, don't reply, don't send anything, any more!! Leave him! ....You know the dirt on the bottom of your shoes? Lick it. It's better and healthier for you than he is!! No I didn't respond. I won't. You are right it's much better and healthier to walk away from him. Just being a bit moody since his return email but now I'm so sure to myself that he is no longer have a place in my life. I feel good again.
EmperorR Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 if you respond he will and it will go on and on, just go strict NC
ProudToBeMeAgain Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Wise Advice I received: Men respond to distance NOT words. Go NC!! either way, he will respond. He will either leave you alone or get desperate and show you that he is not totally over you. Either way, he will respond. YOUR choice will be how will you respond to that? Get him out of YOUR picture. Think what are YOUR goals without him and that will give you the answer on what to do when he responds. If he leaves you alone, lucky you!! You don't need him around.
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 I listened to you guys. I ignored him ... but sounds I cannot get rid of my ex-fiance. He emailed me the third time! He confessed! He admitted that he lied - to avoiding me when I was in Sydney, to go on a trip with a woman 10 years of his age ... blah blah blah. Still, he was not honest and said he went on holiday with her but not fond of her. He was not ready still and enjoying being single, he said he has been drifted away from me emotionally since half year ago so he made this decision. An essay of 1000 words of beautiful cover up. Ridiculously, he said he cared for me very much and our relationship meant so much to him, loved me as I was his wife for 4.5 years (so the half year of drifted away doesn't count!). Hope for my forgiveness. More than happy to see me if I can. You know what his whole message sounds to me? "Hey. Beg me to take you back. You cannot live without me." He's living with his self-indulgence. It's time for me to consider changing my email address!
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