79_casey Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I've been with a married man for about eight months now, and it's going great. I knew he was married when it started out, I told myself over and over again I wouldn't get into anything of the sort but where did I end up? thats right. He's just recently had his third anniversary in Vegas. Okay, when it started we were both extremely happy and still are its just that things are beginning to get real...even more complicated. He pretty much lives with me(his wife has been living in a different city about two hours from where we are for eight months) and I recently helped him move out of his old apartment and he moved into mine. I feel bad for recking his married life I told him and he told me it was broken before I even showed up...which was true. He told me his wife pushed him into the marriage and that he finally realized that until after the wedding and couldn't back out of it. His wife wants kids with him and he said he doesn't see himself having kids with her, ever. He tells me he imagines having children with me and he always pretends we are. His wife has had an abortion and a miscarriage before we even met so she's had her chances I'm not say that to be mean but it's sort of true. Were also sexually active and he's stopped having sex with his wife, and said it's not fair because he only wants one women and he has two. So he's chosen me to have sex with. We've also have had two pregnancy scares that turned into hoping I was actually pregnant, which turned out I wasn't. He was excited when I told him I hadn't gotten my period and sad when we found out I wasn't. I can see myself loving him forever, we have everything in common and thats how we ended up in this affair. He said I said all the right things and I want to do the same things in life he wants to do, as for his wife shes a nurse and hates the things he does and forces him to go shopping with her. She's pretty much a princess. I love being outdoors and getting dirty and by my understandings she can't stand being outdoors for more then a night. About two months ago she gave him divorce papers but he said he forgot them at her place, and this past weekend he said she filed for divorce again and it's up to him to decide..and I'm scared. I want him to divorce her so we can start off clean. So thats where he is as I write this, in a motel room across town with her, it hurts everytime he leaves me to go to her. He calls me when hes with her to tell me he misses me...I believe him, I can hear it in his voice. I trust him...and love him! He said he loves both of us, he loves her because I quote "Shes sweet and Nice"...and me because we have soo much in common. He said when hes most happiest with me is also when hes the most saddest because hes affraid for her, she said she'd kill herself if he left her. I honestly don't know how much of this I can go through, I mean kudos to the people who have years behind them it already hurts too much for me and him. What should I do? if he divorces her...if he stays?....I don't know!!!! I love him and I know we can make this work!!
chasingrainbows25 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 So he's chosen me to have sex with. That pretty much says it all. He's chosen you to have sex with, end of. He's chosen her to be his lifelong partner. There is a very big difference. He wont sign. I doubt he's any intention of breaking off his marriage but keeps the carrot dangling for you so that he doesnt lose his current sex partner. There were so many things in this post that I'd heard from my ex MM and so many things that are similar to things written here. Its a pattern of deceit and you're in the middle of it. God I hope you dont fall pregnant. CR25
theBrokenMuse Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 You are really naive if you think that he's spending time with her in motel rooms and nothing is going on. If she was too suicidal to be without him, she wouldn't have filed for divorce. His stories sound so contrived that I can't imagine that any outsider isn't going to see the giant reds that are popping up all over your story. You know what it sounds like? It sounds like he does indeed want two women and he knows exactly what to say to you to get you to stay under the current circumstances. If he wanted the divorce that badly to go be with you he would have taken better care to get things done when his wife filed the first time around. The whole pregnancy thing is usually a male fantasy. They want to feel sexually potent and powerful but these are often the first guys to duck out of their responsibilities when the time comes or pressure the woman to get an abortion. It's never as appealing to them once the reality of the situation sets in. Start using protection, at least until you know for sure what he's going to do! Do you really want to bring a baby into to mix with all this uncertainty and drama? It's not the mature thing to do, at all and you know it. This guy is playing you, big time. I would be willing to bet everything I own on it. He's a cake eater and a liar that's stringing you along. Do a little reading and see for yourself how totally cliche the lines of BS he's feeding you are. They are about as common as 'The check's in the mail'.
bentnotbroken Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I've been with a married man for about eight months now, and it's going great. I knew he was married when it started out, I told myself over and over again I wouldn't get into anything of the sort but where did I end up? thats right. He's just recently had his third anniversary in Vegas. Okay, when it started we were both extremely happy and still are its just that things are beginning to get real...even more complicated. He pretty much lives with me(his wife has been living in a different city about two hours from where we are for eight months) and I recently helped him move out of his old apartment and he moved into mine. I feel bad for recking his married life I told him and he told me it was broken before I even showed up...which was true. He told me his wife pushed him into the marriage and that he finally realized that until after the wedding and couldn't back out of it. His wife wants kids with him and he said he doesn't see himself having kids with her, ever. He tells me he imagines having children with me and he always pretends we are. His wife has had an abortion and a miscarriage before we even met so she's had her chances I'm not say that to be mean but it's sort of true. Were also sexually active and he's stopped having sex with his wife, and said it's not fair because he only wants one women and he has two. So he's chosen me to have sex with. We've also have had two pregnancy scares that turned into hoping I was actually pregnant, which turned out I wasn't. He was excited when I told him I hadn't gotten my period and sad when we found out I wasn't. I can see myself loving him forever, we have everything in common and thats how we ended up in this affair. He said I said all the right things and I want to do the same things in life he wants to do, as for his wife shes a nurse and hates the things he does and forces him to go shopping with her. She's pretty much a princess. I love being outdoors and getting dirty and by my understandings she can't stand being outdoors for more then a night. About two months ago she gave him divorce papers but he said he forgot them at her place, and this past weekend he said she filed for divorce again and it's up to him to decide..and I'm scared. I want him to divorce her so we can start off clean. So thats where he is as I write this, in a motel room across town with her, it hurts everytime he leaves me to go to her. He calls me when hes with her to tell me he misses me...I believe him, I can hear it in his voice. I trust him...and love him! He said he loves both of us, he loves her because I quote "Shes sweet and Nice"...and me because we have soo much in common. He said when hes most happiest with me is also when hes the most saddest because hes affraid for her, she said she'd kill herself if he left her. I honestly don't know how much of this I can go through, I mean kudos to the people who have years behind them it already hurts too much for me and him. What should I do? if he divorces her...if he stays?....I don't know!!!! I love him and I know we can make this work!! I do believe that this is one of the crueliest things I have ever read. If you have never had a miscarriage(I have) you have no idea the devastation and for you to decide that all the times that she gets to be pregnant by him. You should be careful how you view others lives as you live on the outside in the dark back room being a sex partner and only getting one side of a lifestory, from a cheater no less. You can't make anything work with a lying piece of walking cow pie because you are too niave to think for yourself. The old she'll kill herself line is as old as mud.
2sure Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 He tells you that his wife has BOTH filed for and served him with divorce papers?? Yet, if he signs them she will kill herself. Please. If at all true - and she did file for divorce - without children and with seperate residences - its quite possible the D will go thru whether he wants it or not. This would not be up to him. If the wife filed the papers and he is telling you the divorce may not happen - its because he is trying to convince his wife to stay. People who say " I will kill myself if you leave me" do not at the same time, initiate a divorce.
whichwayisup Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 This guy has you snowed. Big time. Sorry to say this but I don't think he has any intention of ending his marriage, why should he when he has two women to meet all his needs? Why not tell him NO MORE SEX until he officially divorces. If you want a life with him, stop being the OW, stop your affair and let him deal with his wife and divorce. You can pick up where you left off AFTER he is an officially free man. If he truly wants you, loves you, then this will be no problem for him to do.
LittleDove Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 His wife has had an abortion and a miscarriage before we even met so she's had her chances I'm not say that to be mean but it's sort of true. That is the most MEAN shallow dirty nasty vile and evil comment I have heard in a very long time. i HAD an open mind until I read this BS. Offensive ??? WTF? I am doubting you are even female... certainly shallow as they come! KARMA will find you. Infact she already has. You actually believe all this crap!! Wake up, you are nothing to him, hes WITH HIS WIFE and has you 'on call'. How did the poor dear manage to get divorce papers done? shes SO weak and USELESS!! I wonder how she coped, chucking the crappy husband his marching orders. Shes fine sweetie, make no mistake, shes in control by the sounds of things, and hes with her not you... her biggest problem is having a ***head husband.
whichwayisup Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 He said I said all the right things and I want to do the same things in life he wants to do, as for his wife shes a nurse and hates the things he does and forces him to go shopping with her. She's pretty much a princess. I love being outdoors and getting dirty and by my understandings she can't stand being outdoors for more then a night. Again, this guy has you snowed!!! Why are you believing every word he says about his wife? About their marriage? HE IS SO FULL OF CRAP.
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