tziel Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I really should start this with some back story. I live out in Seattle and until recently with my now EX Courtney (together about 3 months). She moved up here from Louisiana recently and seems to be loving it, however, her Ex from back home continued to try to win her back saying he was going to change and even going so far as to say if she came back home he would marry her. Even with this however, things went rather smoothly until last week when she went home to visit her family. She ended up meeting up with him there where he broke down crying gave her some seven pages of love letters that he wrote her. I didn't hear anymore about it till last night when I picked her up from the airport and got back to the house when she broke the news on me that she has to leave me because she doesn't love me the same way as she loved him when they were together. I tried to get her to stay saying in the the scheme of a long term relationship three months is nothing and it is perfectly normal to have different feelings toward your partner in different relationships. This was by far the healthiest best matched relationship I have been in thus far. I think I may have made a mistake by leaving a note in her stuff saying that I would always be there for her and be her friend and respect her decision ect... She packed up and left right then to live with nearby friends which leads me to my question. I really do love her and want to be with her, what are my chances of her coming back to me?
LittleDove Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Oh dear. Thats a harsh situation. I would be thanking your lucky stars it only lasted 3 months before her X won her back. Lick your wounds...she has done this to you, so think about how 'well matched' you really are....were. Were they(her and her X) together a long while? Did she leave him to be with you? Or run to you after her break up...sounds like it. ouch.
lady_door Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Sounds like you were her rebound... so I'd say your chances are pretty slim. Don't wait for her to use you again when she and her ex don't work out. You're better than that.
BCCA Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 You really want someone back who would bail on you like that for an ex that lives 3000 miles away? No, you dont man, youre just hurting right now. It sounds like you were a rebound, and she may have honestly only been with you to manipulate this other guy. I think there is next to no chance that she'll be back, and if she did...it would only be a repeat of this time. The note in her stuff wasnt what I wouldve done, but its done and over with now. You cant worry about it. Just dont really be there for someone who would have YOU pick them up from the airport to tell you that theyre leaving you for an ex. She doesnt want you in her life? Fine, then she doesnt need you for anything at all, ever. I know I'm accused of taking a pretty hard line approach to ex's and such, but really, once someone has done something like this once, letting them back into your life for any reason again is only asking for it to happen again. Sorry you have to go through this, I know it sucks. I've been in your shoes before.
Author tziel Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 Oh dear. Thats a harsh situation. I would be thanking your lucky stars it only lasted 3 months before her X won her back. Lick your wounds...she has done this to you, so think about how 'well matched' you really are....were. Were they(her and her X) together a long while? Did she leave him to be with you? Or run to you after her break up...sounds like it. ouch. Yes they had been together for a few years, but this is mostly because it was a first real relationship for both of them. And when I met her she had been separated from her Ex for over a month before I met her. It is also important to mention that we moved in together very quickly (a week after we started seeing each other she got kicked out of her apartment). What strikes me as so strange was how abrupt it was, things were going fine then bam! gone. The whole time she was down there her entire family as well as all her friends were all constantly trying to get her to come back home and get back together with her ex. I am wondering if this affects your opinions.
D-Lish Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Yes they had been together for a few years, but this is mostly because it was a first real relationship for both of them. And when I met her she had been separated from her Ex for over a month before I met her. It is also important to mention that we moved in together very quickly (a week after we started seeing each other she got kicked out of her apartment). Unfortunately, the whole situation is a textbook rebound situation. They were together 3 years, only broken up for a month before you met and she quickly moved in. There really isn't anything you can do but give her space. It sucks terribly, but it doesn't sound like she is ready to move on from her past.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 It definitely sounds like a rebound situation to me. It takes a whole lot longer than 1 month to get over an ex that you've dated for three years. A handful of long term couples break up for a month then get back together, sorry you got caught up in that. :S
Author tziel Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 Right now I am just giving her space, not trying to win her back or anything stupid like that. I am very curious as to whether you guys think she is going to try to come back. I honestly don't know what I will do if she tries, seeing as I have never had a relationship end this way (in the past it has gone much much worse). If she doesn't, I recognize that it isn't the end of the world, and I recognize I shouldn't take her back and all, but I still really want her to try so I can at least get some answers.
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