myconfusion Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Hey everyone!! Please help me..I don't know what to do Here is my story..it might be a little long.Please bear with me. So my ex and I broke up like two months ago and the reason for breaking up was unreasonable! Well actually it started with me.. I felt like I couldn't live without him and I needed to see him everyday so I kinda implied that maybe I don't want a relationship! It's such a stupid thing to say!!!!! But he comforted me and said that I had everything going for me and no need to worry and so we were still together and it was nice. then a couple days later he came to me an said that what I said got him thinking. We were together for 4 months and it was just great!!! We saw each other everyday and we never had a fight!!!!! then he said he needed a break!! I went numb :S He said he's falling in love with me HARD and it's going to be a really serious relationship like what he had with his ex of 5 years. He said he doesn't know if he's ready for that. Maybe he wants to explore more. I didn't understanddd.. I said "Don't leave me" and he didn't ( yet! ) So after he said that I got really insecure..and I said things like "I wanna see u everyday again.. I have to stop. I need to get myself together" So he said that he needs a break again I know I'm stupid. Then I started pleading..I know stupid again. He kept saying he's not ready for a relationship. The first weeks after the break..I felt HORRIBLE ..I couldn't eat or sleep. I was basically DEPRESSED but we didn't stop seeing each other. We still saw each other quite often but each time, I would just be depressed and ask for him to come back. ha..I don't know why he still wanted to see me. He always says things like ""U know my parents were in on and off relationship all the time and they love each other so much!" and things like "My ex and I went on a break once and when we got back together we loved each other than ever!" It's silly to me since we never had problems then why the hell do we need a break! Anyways, my depression reached its peak..even though things didn't get better but I felt better..all the sudden I don't need to cry anymore. I'm finally emotionally stable! I know he didn't have anyone else for a fact since we were always together everyday!!! Then after I felt better ..I stopped feeling like I need to talk to with him but he always kept in touch. He always wrote on my wall on facebook and stuff especially when there is this guy who flirted on me on my wall. Like he was competing!! I didn't mean for that to happen but this other guy is a retard. Anyways, last Sunday. I saw him in a club with a girl!!!! OMG .. but I didn't break down and cry or anything since I kinda thought she was just a rebound. I did say things like "U're an *******, not ready for a relationship my ass!" He apologized to me the next day and said that he felt like he cheated on me. He said it was horrible that he went on one date after the break up and I happened to be there. So I said "Look I'm sick and tired. I couldn't sleep thinking the worst but at the end of the day I miss you so much. This is the last chance for u to come back to me..otherwise I'll get myself together and go" I was just honest u know.. but he still said no He said "It's weird for me to go back to you right now after what happened last night. I'm just not ready" So I said "Ok fine. Don't ever think about coming back to me again" and he was like ":(" But the next day I sent him a nice msg saying that I agreed with the break up and sorry I was harsh to him , I was just being unreasonable but I"ve been feeling that I need to be single as well! I said it in a light friendly way..u know ten minutes after I sent that msg. It was like 3 am ..late at night.. he wrote on my wall "Call me" but I didn't .. half an hour after that he texted me asking if I was awake so he could call. But I didn't reply as well. I got a msg the next day from him .. he said that I'm so sweet and far from meet and that he wants to hang out again soon. He also said he misses me and ended with "Love" Since that day I didn't contact him at all.. he always wrote on my wall and I rarely replied. Anyways we met on Friday..he said that he was sick and I was in his area..He told me to go see him. It was nice..he acted like he was my boyfriend and that he missed me soo much .. u know all the cuddling, hugging , kissing.. but I didn't act like I wanted him back..I responsed nicely but not like oh godd I want u back right now. He also talked about what we should do together and stuff too.. But I said "U know..I think from now on, we won't get to see each other so much now..it's just weird for me" he went quiet for a little bit and said to himself "what am I doing :(" and asked if I was happy and I said yes. Before I left he said "see you soon, ok?" and gave me kisses on my forehead and on my lips. The next day I texted to ask how he's doing cos he said he was gonna go to the hospital. He called me at 9 pm , I didn't answer.. and he called me again at 1 am.. still I didn't answer. So I called him the next day..he sounded delighted to hear from me and he said that he was so scared that I was with someone else :S so I'm like..well I don't have anyone else I was just working. He said "I know u have someone else ..don't lie" ..that kinda pissed me off :S cos I really don't have anyone else. so I said "I don't have anyone but U don't have to know if I have someone else or not anyway..it's not about you anymore" ..and he still kept saying it that he knows I have someone else ..so I said "Gosh, u have issues..u need a therapist right now" but in a funny tone and he laughed. then I ended the conversation quick..I said that I have to get back to work and he was like "noooo I wanna talk" :S :S hmm so i told him to call me later if he wanna talk.. he was pretty upset. So I was online later at night.. he talked to me first and told me that he was going to see his friends but he will give me a call later. But he didn't call ..I guess he was busy with his friends or something. We talked again this morning ..he sounded nice. My question is.. What do I do from now on??????????? It seems like he still has feelings for me?? But I know if I keep on being there whenever he wants..he will just feel safe and be like "I'm not ready" all over again!! I know!! I know I'm never going to ask him to get back together with me again! He has to be the one who start that!! But howww???? I'm so confused. Should I still limit the contact with him or should I just be nice to him but not too much ? I feel like I"m acting too distant and cold??? what is a good way to show that I still care but I won't die if I don't have u? Or should I just do nothing and whatever happens happens?? Thank you so much for hearing me out!!!!!
bubblegum Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 My question is.. What do I do from now on??????????? It seems like he still has feelings for me?? But I know if I keep on being there whenever he wants..he will just feel safe and be like "I'm not ready" all over again!! I know!! I know I'm never going to ask him to get back together with me again! He has to be the one who start that!! But howww???? I'm so confused. Should I still limit the contact with him or should I just be nice to him but not too much ? I feel like I"m acting too distant and cold??? what is a good way to show that I still care but I won't die if I don't have u? Or should I just do nothing and whatever happens happens?? Thank you so much for hearing me out!!!!! Keep the LC, even LOWER C than you already are. It'll help give you some strength so you can think about things with less emotion. You have to figure out if he responded so positively when you pulled away just because you were pulling back and not making yourself so available, or because he has deeper feelings. I don't think you're acting distant or cold. Don't worry about that at all.
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