Romantic_Guy Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I need help. I can see myself making the same mistakes I have made before in a previous relationship, which ended badly, yet I can't stop myself from doing them. 99% of the girls I meet and am attracted to don't faze me one bit. I date them, or whatever, and have normal relationships with them, with the exception of probably not showing them enough attention as I don't care enough for them. However with the girl I am currently dating I am behaving the exact same way I did with the only girl in my life that I have actually loved. I CANNOT stop thinking about her. I am so ridiculously emotionally attached to this girl despite only knowing her for less than three weeks! It's not healthy. She likes me and I haven't shown any of that side to her, I have played it very cool (because of the way I messed it up with that other girl). Whenever we have gone out we've had fun and both enjoyed it and each others company. I just feel so close to this girl, like I could tell her anything. In fact I have told her 'anything'. It differs slightly from the previous relationship I mentioned as in that one we were friends first (although I was crazy about her from the moment I met her), whereas now we met and started dating. I just don't want to screw this up by coming on too strong. But I guess the bigger problem is why do I get SO attached SO quickly when I really like a girl? And how do I stop myself from doing this, in particular in relation to my current relationship?
Author Romantic_Guy Posted November 17, 2008 Author Posted November 17, 2008 PS. I should also probably say that when I broke up with the previous girl (this was about five years ago for the record) I took it REALLY hard. I guess I'm also worried the same might happen if things don't work out with this girl.
You'reasian Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Take your time. Have fun together and appreciate her. Don't rush, let it simmer - if things move too quickly and you find yourselves with some huge differences in beliefs/values it could fall just as quickly. Your girl will get to see you through thick and thin when you take the time to gradually get 'there' - and better, you can be there for each other. Best of luck.
Chinook Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Okay, I dated a guy like you some time ago. He went way too quickly into things and it really put me off. The reason it put me off was because he thought that everything I wanted to do was way more important than what he wanted - he became apathetic in my eyes pretty quickly - when in his eyes he was completely loving and giving. To me he didn't take responsibility or decisions and I felt emotionally and mentally like I was carrying us both, it was too much. Classic examples Me: What would you like to do this evening...? Him: I don't mind, we can do whatever you like. Me: What would you like for dinner...? Him: I don't mind, whatever is easiest for you, if you're cooking I'll eat whatever you put in front of me, if you want to go out, we can do that. Can you see what I mean...? In his over enthusiasm, he went headlong into doing anything and everything he thought I wanted to do because he felt it was his duty to do that because he loved me so much. The problem was, it placed the responsibility for how both he and I lived squarely with me. It was too much and I backed away. I simply couldn't deal with it and I told him. I gave him a chance but after a while, things slipped back to how they were. He didn't need a partner, he needed a mother. So you need to be careful how this 'emotionally attached' thing works for you because you can smother her without realising it. She will need space and as I told my guy, how could I miss him when he was in my face 24/7. He didn't get it and in the end I walked away. He knew I was the kind of person who needed their own time but to me, he kinda violated it. The evening he showed up on my doorstep because he was 'passing' even though he lived 40 mins away was kinda hard to deal with and I asked him not to contact me anymore.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Me: What would you like to do this evening...? Him: I don't mind, we can do whatever you like. Me: What would you like for dinner...? Him: I don't mind, whatever is easiest for you, if you're cooking I'll eat whatever you put in front of me, if you want to go out, we can do that. LOL...this reminds me of that movie "Coming to America" with Eddie Murphy. "What is your favorite food?" "Whatever food you like." "What do you like to do?" "Whatever you like." Sooo hawt.
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