LittleDove Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 My NC begins today. I recived an email from him. It was upsetting . Stuff him! As of today, I will NOT answer or call OR TXT him ever again. I give up. Cant change the unchagable. Cant reason with the unreasonable. I will ignore all calls and txt, and not respond to emails. Nothing. Silence. Last week, seeing him was the best thing for me. After 6 months of 'wondering' how he was, and what he was doing...now the mystery is gone, hes the same as always, and I dont want that.... He looked great through my rose coloured memory glasses!!!BUT pretty awful in the 'real' light of day.. I got something from it, I think its called 'closure', but really it was a smack of reality! Im glad I left, I dont care what hes doing, and im on a path of self improvement, my career is a focus once more, and I believe there are much nicer guys out there. To be completley happy once more, I have to have no contact, theres NOTHING left to say. Simple. I cant imagine any reason why I need contact.. I just want to forget it all!
Author LittleDove Posted November 17, 2008 Author Posted November 17, 2008 5 hours after my declaration of NC im sad that he hasnt contacted me!!!??? WHY? I know hes awful. I know he doesnt care. I know I asked for NC from him. I wonder how long LS will fill the void? better to purge here than dwell... If he was 'single' it would be easier. But to know ive been replaced sucks. AND today I wondered about something...IF hes willing to settle on her, BECAUSE she meets his needs, then what did we have?? 2 &1/2 years of BS is what im thinking... okay, so day 1 isnt easy. But it will get easier...I dont regret this, I just wish HE did!!! lol. im okay!
Author LittleDove Posted November 17, 2008 Author Posted November 17, 2008 Thanks Hidingme. Its stupid, I WILL NOT cave, no way. I will begin to wish he wont cave either. He truley isnt worth it. When or IF he calls, I must be strong enough to ignore it, and he WILL call, right when im feeling good again... Im starting a bunch of projects to get me back to ME and get the life I had prior to him back- only better this time. Tomorrow is a busy day, starting a new job, and my new thing is a daily 2 hr workout.(im a personal trainer) so excersise all day anyway. That helps. I dont know much about Im but i do use yahoo. Frick this SOB has ruined me, I shouldnt have seen him last week. Its been 6 months, and I was doing okay... This is a set back, and a turning point... I think im afraid of the certainty of this now- its OVER and theres no going back, even if I wanted to, the damage done by him is far too great. The final kick and scream- and admitting to myself all the dreams, emotions, everything, is finished. (i could have him back..IF I get a house, pay for his car, and pay all the bills, like his new gf is!! yeah...naaaa, and because that aint gonna happen, its over, so again he made it 'my fault') Has anyone here been the victim of huge amounts of psycological abuse? a sociopath? Ive been warned that these men are the HARDEST to get over. He wore my down so well. Passive aggressive BS. im okay*breathe in!! *can I have my brain back now??? seriously...WTF???
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