WiseOne1 Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Some of you might know my story, but brief, My ex and I have been broken up for 8 months, she broke up with me because she said her feeling changed and that I pushed her away. She blames me for not being there for her when her ex bf came back, he came back and after leaving her for a full 9 months, and he left out of the blue, he didn’t tell her why, he didn’t leave a txt or email, he just got up and left and changed all of his numbers, he basically just disappeared. He came back and she didn’t know who she wanted to be with, and he ruined our relationship he didn’t even want her, he just wanted to test the waters just to see if he still had a effect on her. So she then said she chose me over him, personally I think that he just got up and left again! So she blames me for treating her differently, and she stopped loving me, I actually started treating her better after I found out how much I loved her when I was about to lose her. So she broke up with me and promised she didn’t want another BF, and then she gets this new BF and doesn’t tell me about it for about 4 months. She said she was afraid to lose me as a friend, because we were best friends "5 years before we got together" I went NC a couple of times and then called her, and then 4 weeks ago I went complete NC and I didn’t talk to her for 4 weeks str8. I had finally got my closure, I had been asking her for the last 7 months did she love him and she use to say no, and she finally said yea, that was all I needed! She txted me twice, and called me 2 days ago and we been talking every since, I been thru this all with a past ex, I know how this can only hurt me by staying friends with her, I’m not over her! I've told her at lest 35 times that I didn’t want to be friends but she keeps coming back like something’s going to change, I told her she should go be with her new BF and don’t worry about me. She just says she misses me though, so should I just do what the ex did and change all of my numbers? She blamed me for the cause of the feeling to change, but I just noticed it wasn’t her ex that ruined our relationship, it was her! Because she could have avoided him and not talked to him.
Geishawhelk Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 What do you really want to do? Then, just do it.
Author WiseOne1 Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 What do you really want to do? Then, just do it. I dont want to talk to her, shes not gonna use me for the emotional tampon, because her new bf isnt showing her any attention, when we were together she only needed to talk to me, I was like 1 in all, bestfriend/bf, but I told her she needs to go try to find that with her new BF.
norajane Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 When she calls, don't answer the phone, and if she leaves a message, delete it without listening. When she texts, delete it without reading it and don't reply. When she emails, delete it without reading it and don't reply. When she IM's, sign off and make sure you block her id so she can't IM you again. When she sends a carrier pigeon with a message tied to its leg, remove the message and burn it, and release the pigeon without a reply message. When she hires a sky writer, go inside and shut the blinds. When she gets no response from you, she'll stop. Or, you can change your numbers and emails.
norajane Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Ya forgot the smoke signals NJ Mail, too. I completely forgot letters and postcards!
Author WiseOne1 Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Lol thanks chinook, and NJ. I cant get over it, he bassically used her as a joke or for a ego boost. He never wanted her back, he just wanted to see if he still had a effect, to me it looks like it was a a bet with a friend to see if he could still mess with her emotions or something. Shes apoligized and such, but thats all talk and no action, if she really felt that she messed up she would be trying to fix things with me, instead I feel that actions speak louder than words. And all im getting is words, no action!!!! She bassically fell for the joke I feel. In in the mix of everything ruined our relationship. Actually in the last 15 minutes she just called me 3 times in a row and I didnt even answer the phone!!!!!!!!
CaliGuy Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I've told her at lest 35 times that I didn’t want to be friends but she keeps coming back like something’s going to change, I told her she should go be with her new BF and don’t worry about me. She just says she misses me though, so should I just do what the ex did and change all of my numbers? She blamed me for the cause of the feeling to change, but I just noticed it wasn’t her ex that ruined our relationship, it was her! Because she could have avoided him and not talked to him. So you've laid a boundary out there and she's ignoring it. Hmmm, what do you think you should do? If you don't want to be friends with her, IGNORE her. Don't pick up her calls, don't answer emails, block her from IM. She'll get the message eventually. The thing about boundaries is, if you don't actually do something when a boundary is crossed then you really don't have a boundary at all. Heed what I have bolded above. She'll eventually leave you alone.
Geishawhelk Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 You see? It's actually that easy. All you have to do now is not answer her emotionally. Oh. And find a good recipe for pigeon pie. What.......? WHAT - ?!
Author WiseOne1 Posted November 17, 2008 Author Posted November 17, 2008 Thanks guys, The only thing is I really miss her as a friend, I mean we were best friends for 5 years before the relationship started, and then again I refuse to be her emotional backup. Just like me and her was talking the other day, I told her she didn’t have to talk to anyone else and that I was all in one, I told her she should try to make her new BF just like me, I guess im trying to push her off on him, I tell her things like he’s a great guy and deserves all your time and you should be his friend and his gf. I also tell her don’t waste her time on me because he’s a wayyy better guy than me, LOL does this sound like manipulation to you guys?
CaliGuy Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Thanks guys, The only thing is I really miss her as a friend, I mean we were best friends for 5 years before the relationship started, and then again I refuse to be her emotional backup. This is fine and as it should be. She simply wants to go back to the way things were and once a romance has started, you simply can not go back to being just friends. Doesn’t work that way. Just like me and her was talking the other day, I told her she didn’t have to talk to anyone else and that I was all in one, I told her she should try to make her new BF just like me, I guess im trying to push her off on him, This is fine too... I tell her things like he’s a great guy and deserves all your time and you should be his friend and his gf. I also tell her don’t waste her time on me because he’s a wayyy better guy than me, LOL does this sound like manipulation to you guys? This sounds insecure to me, not manipulation. If she wants to be with him, if she thinks he is great then she should be best friends with him, not you. That part is true. Him being better than you is purely speculation. He may be a better FIT for her, but he is not "better" than you. Just different.
Author WiseOne1 Posted November 18, 2008 Author Posted November 18, 2008 Your right "caliguy" I’m trying to push her off on him, I told her she should talk to him and spend time on them together, not talking to me, I told her that I have nothing else to offer her, she gets pissed when I do that. See your right him being better than me is speculation, and I know that but, I want to brainwash her into believing that he is, I want her to see "why did I waste so much time on him" its basically like im using manipulation to push her off on him, its that bad, I still love her and I don’t want to hurt her even though she didn’t care about me enough not to hurt me. But I don’t know how else, I don’t want anything to do with her not 1%.
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