how to handle this with my guy??

[dakotamaiden]

we like each other, we had sex once, then all of a sudden he told me he was renewing his relationship with god so no drinking or sex. he works in the medical field.

 

i understand what he means when he tells me this, but when iam around him i want him so bad. will this eventually fade. or will we get closer and he will want to be intimate with me. i told him i understood and will respect his decision . WHAT DO I DO ???

 

dont tell me to stay away from him because i wont . thats not an option ,

 

thanks very much for any advice you can give me. please tell me to hang in there.

[nicki]

Ask him point blank if he wants to continue to see you. That will tell you a lot.

 

So, if this is true and not an excuse to no longer see you, he is waiting until marriage to have sex?

 

If it were me and he still wanted to see me, I'd test his resolve. Wear sexy clothes. Brush up against him. Stare at his crotch wistfully. Tell him you've been very bad because you touch yourself while thinking about him.

 

Do you think maybe he wants to have a good Christian girl who will share his values of no sex? (Well, that couldn't be me, is it you?)

 

Unless he wants to get married in six months or so, and you want to, too.

 

But, I'll share something with you. I had a guy tell me this (we didn't sleep together first, though.) We still went out together, and he always had the biggest hard-on when he hugged me good night. I knew I could have broken him down very easily.

 

Either way, though it's your guy's choice, and your choice if you want to stick around.

[Geishawhelk]

Ok.

Hang in there.

 

But I think this will become a more difficult issue with him, if he puts off the inevitable.

I appreciate he might have found God and wants no drink or sex - and that's his decision, but - hang on - doesn't a 'couple' consist of - 2 - people?

 

What about your feelings?

What about your wants, needs and desires?

Did he consult you before coming to this momentous decision?

if not, I'm sorry, but that's kinda selfish. Deciding this-n-that and expecting you to naturally agree to it, isn't a very considerate thing to do.

 

So -

What DOES he expect you to do?

[kashmir]

Shouldn't you like that he doesn't want to have sex?

[dakotamaiden]

yes i should like the idea he doesnt want to have sex, and yes i can tell he has a hard on when hes with me.

[dakotamaiden]

we are not in a serious relationship, we are friends getting to know each other .

[casanovacorner]

I'm Christian and I find it quite amusing how prude some people are. In Genesis, God created man and told them to eat fruit and have sex. Before any of the other commandments, He said, "have sex."

 

If you try to test is resolve as someone else suggested, he might just cut you off all together and then seeing him will no longer be your option.

[dakotamaiden]

iam to respect his decision and see when we become closer, if things change maybe he need to feel closer , like i said we are just becoming good friends and need to maybe build a bond between us first

[dakotamaiden]

you said it perfect thanks, sometimes i just try and think to hard, and another thing past relationships was about sex, i thought it was love but in the end of a 7yr relationship I WAS COMPLETELY WRONG ALL ABOUT SEX HE DIDNT LOVE ME. thanks again

[dakotamaiden]

yes its okay if he doesnt want sex, i just get confused sometimes thinking if he doesnt want sex, iam not that desirable, then i start feeling insecure, am i strange??? i dont want to whine about it to him, i want to be able just to handle it. THANKS.

[elaina]

yes its okay if he doesnt want sex, i just get confused sometimes thinking if he doesnt want sex, iam not that desirable, then i start feeling insecure, am i strange??? i dont want to whine about it to him, i want to be able just to handle it. THANKS.

 

I think he wants sex with you. It's not the issue about if he wants sex or not. i am sure he does. When a person wants to get serious though about living for God, they want to please God and most Christians believe that God designed sex as a gift in between husband and wife. So he probably wants to wait until getting married and more than likely hopes you will be the one he marries...

 

So yeah support him and let your friendship grow! Cause yeah sex is wonderful but love involves so much more!! (And sex is the delicious icing on the cake lol)

 

Peace

[dakotamaiden]

thanks, your right, i just needed some reasurrance.

[dakotamaiden]

thanks everyone for your helpful advice