immizunderstood Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Is it appropriate as a new employee (3 weeks into the job) to give an employer a suductive calender of themselves? And is it appropriate for the employer to accept it? I was at work with my bf and found out the new employee gave my bf an autographed calender of herself. I was pissed and I'm trying to figure out if I'm being immature.
casanovacorner Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 I don't think you should be mad. You have a few good options here. 1) You can take it as a compliment that she is attracted to your bf and move on, but watch him, not her. She can't do anything he doesn't allow to happen. 2) Surprise him and bring her home one night if you're into that kind of thing. He'll love it, and so will you and her if that's your thing. 3) Ask him to give the calendar back and explain that he's in a relationship. Maybe she didn't know.
Ronni_W Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Are you kidding me? The 'employer' should return the calendar and get HR to once again go over the company's guidelines about what constitutes appropriate workplace conduct and interactions, dress code, etc., and make it 100% clear that actions with even the smallest sexual overtones could be grounds for dismissal -- to maintain the company's reputation and workplace relations, and to protect it from unnecessary liability, risks and lawsuits. New employee needs so educating as to proper workplace etiquette. She seems highly misguided as to how to develop a solid reputation as a valuable worker. I wouldn't be "pissed" so much as just totally aghast at her lack of knowledge of the working world. 'Employer' also needs to get up to speed about effectively managing workers who cross-over the company's guidelines...as well as personal boundaries.
Author immizunderstood Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 She's gay. I guess my real question is; Do you think the line between employee and employer has been crossed? Especially since shes only been working for 3 weeks at 1 day a week. When you total that up its actually 3 days.
Ronni_W Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 It wouldn't matter if she was a long-term employee, and her sexual orientation doesn't matter, either. It just is NOT appropriate workplace behaviour under ANY circumstance. It is on the 'employer' to know the guidelines and boundaries, and to ensure that ALL workers follow it.
Author immizunderstood Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Thank you so much Ronnie. I knew I wasn't crazy. When I asked her about it she looked scared and embarrassed. I'm upset that my bf didn't have presence of mind to inform her of her inappropriate behavior. I think a line has been crossed and the relationship now is a little too familiar for my kind. I would never allow any employee of mine to display such behavior.
Author immizunderstood Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Ronnie that's exactly what I said last night to him. He thinks because she's gay, it's okay. I started feeling like I was in another world. No matter how I tried to tell him that it's inappropriate behavior on both parts. He would just lash out and complain about me complaining.
Ronni_W Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 If you can, forgive your b/f for lacking effective supervisory skills. Perhaps even see if there is a book or website that will help him to be a better manager in the future. When (not 'if') he returns the calendar with an appropriately apologetic, "Sorry, in my position I should never have accepted this," that relationship will get back on proper track. At the same time, unless you are in HR at the same company, you ought to stay out of these types of workplace situations -- it is not appropriate to be doing the "personal relationship" stuff in the professional/workplace arena, either.
Author immizunderstood Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 He owns the business so we don't have a HR department. Do you think I should ask him to return the calendar?
quankanne Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 tell him that kind of crap can be used as evidence should she decide to pursue a sexual harassment suit against him, be it on real or imagined grounds. the term "lawsuit" might get his attention, you know? and frankly, it's really odd that she would even give him that kind of "gift." It's not appropriate, they don't have a relationship ... and if she's gay, what the hell is she doing passing out photos of herself to men ... esp. men who are taken? Something strange is going on, and he's playing into it. yep, just keep mentioning "lawsuit"
Author immizunderstood Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 QK I've wondered the same thing. Just because she's gay doesn't mean she doesn't like to entice men. I just can't believe the unprofessional nature of this whole situation.
Chinook Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 and frankly, it's really odd that she would even give him that kind of "gift." It's not appropriate, they don't have a relationship ... and if she's gay, what the hell is she doing passing out photos of herself to men ... esp. men who are taken? Something strange is going on, and he's playing into it. either that, or he's lying. Maybe she isn't gay at all... and maybe she gave him the calendar because she's into him. Either way, it's all still inappropriate.
Lizzie60 Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 OMG.. how do you know she's gay.. because HE told you.. ggeeezzz..
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