gwynieatpain Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 I'm so happy, so happy to tell everyone that I'm FINE now. If anyone has seen my previous posts you may recalled I was quite devastated at that time (sorry I'm not a native English speaker my post could be somehow very hard to read). it was a horrible break up. I was about to marry and two days after I quitted my job my ex-fiance of 5 years dumped me via email, said he was scared and found a new side of his when we were living apart. I then flied over to Sydney and he refused to see me, packed my stuff and sent them to my hotel (2 big luggages and a few boxes, damnit) ... yup! this is the end between us. Not knowing what exactly happened until recently I found out he went on a trip with a much older woman. What a joke! I did some house cleaning today and looking at our old photos, I FELT NOTHING. Hum ... not a bad memory. I stopped thinking about him now. Of course, not completely but the heart-breaking feeling has gone. For the past 5 years I was quite enjoying the time with him. But to me, my ex-fiance is 'died' and he's now just another man out of my life. I just feel like I have graduated from a life lesson. I missed his parent though. They love me dearly and want to keep in touch with me but it's kinda embarrassing now.
Geishawhelk Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Why? Nobody thinks it's embarassing but you. Why let it be embarassing? It's him you're over, they have nothing to do with it. Get on with it and stay in touch! It's his problem, not yours!
replicator Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Awesome.. Good for you. Surely that guy was not the right one and you're lucky you didn't end up marrying that jerk.
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Thanks both. His parent still put on hopes that we can get back together one day. I just cannot tell them the truth about our break up and of course I wouldn't tell them that their son is now with a much older woman now (they are a traditional Chinese family not so open-minded it will hurt them if they know it). I'm sure my ex doesn't want me to be attach with his family either. It's his family after all. However, I take the opinion. I miss them a lot and may just give them a call occasionally.
Chinook Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Actually, I don't agree about staying in touch. I know you and your ex have split and you don't owe him anything but these people are HIS parents. Even though you have your differences, you really should have respect for him and your former relationship and stay away. There's no harm in responding if they contact you, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to contact them. Its not fair on you, him or them. When my ex and I split (we'd been together 10 years) I didn't stay in touch with his Mom because I already knew what pain it caused when she had stayed in touch with his brother's ex fiancee. The brother was very uncomfortable about it and eventually he met someone else and basically, it made things awkward all round. If it's over, then it is really over, there's no need to stay in touch. It upset me that my ex's Mom and Dad dropped me pretty quickly as they were almost like second parents. But it had to happen.
sedgwick Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Yay, so very happy for you! Your English is really good, except that heal=healed, quitted=quit, flied=flew, is died=is dead, and put on hopes=hope. Our language is bizarre but you're doing great (and I only correct you because I'm learning Spanish and always want people to correct me.) Keep rockin' it!!:bunny: Oh, and if your native language is Chinese, you're especially rockin'. My American ex-husband is learning Mandarin and even though he's very good at languages, it regularly kicks his ass. Oh, and if his parents want to keep in touch with you, don't be embarrassed, just do it and NEVER speak of him! It'll drive him nuts, heh. How long ago did you split up? What an ass, I can't believe he did that to you. You're VERY strong to have gotten over it!!!!! I admire you a lot!
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Yay, so very happy for you! Your English is really good, except that heal=healed, quitted=quit, flied=flew, is died=is dead, and put on hopes=hope. Our language is bizarre but you're doing great (and I only correct you because I'm learning Spanish and always want people to correct me.) Keep rockin' it!!:bunny: Oh, and if your native language is Chinese, you're especially rockin'. My American ex-husband is learning Mandarin and even though he's very good at languages, it regularly kicks his ass. Oh, and if his parents want to keep in touch with you, don't be embarrassed, just do it and NEVER speak of him! It'll drive him nuts, heh. How long ago did you split up? What an ass, I can't believe he did that to you. You're VERY strong to have gotten over it!!!!! I admire you a lot! Thanks for correcting my crappy English ... he he I'm trying very hard still. Yes my native languages are Mandarin and Cantonese I don't think I can master them Asian languages are too hard and too complicated. It's about the 7th week since the break up. If you have seen my first post you may be more surprised that he had chased me for money since the 3rd day of break up. That was even worse. His parent were very angry about it too. I'm amazed too. How can I get over it in such short period of time? I don't know. I just think it's not worth to think about him anymore because of his immature and coward behavior. The truth sets me free somehow. Why should I cry over it? I have done a lot of thinking and taking advices from people. I'm sure that I deserve better.
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Actually, I don't agree about staying in touch. I know you and your ex have split and you don't owe him anything but these people are HIS parents. Even though you have your differences, you really should have respect for him and your former relationship and stay away. There's no harm in responding if they contact you, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to contact them. Its not fair on you, him or them. When my ex and I split (we'd been together 10 years) I didn't stay in touch with his Mom because I already knew what pain it caused when she had stayed in touch with his brother's ex fiancee. The brother was very uncomfortable about it and eventually he met someone else and basically, it made things awkward all round. If it's over, then it is really over, there's no need to stay in touch. It upset me that my ex's Mom and Dad dropped me pretty quickly as they were almost like second parents. But it had to happen. I thought the same. That's why I said it was kinda embarrassing ... they may either drop me quickly, or they may still miss me, however, it will only remind them of the bad memory and pain which is not good. I guess they will understand if I'm not going to contact them in the coming year. May do it after a year or two. I don't know.
sedgwick Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Your English is not crappy at all! It's better than my Spanish, and I know how incredibly difficult Mandarin is for English speakers, so I'm sure English is difficult for Chinese speakers. And you speak both Mandarin AND Cantonese! I really admire you. Wow, seven weeks. It's been a year and four months for me and I have not stopped thinking of him for one second, or dreaming about him every night. It's agonizing. And he left me for the bass and an imaginary fiddle player. I love him so much, still, and would take him back in a heartbeat. Your ex sounds like a real jackass! You're better off without him, seriously. I'm talking to my ex-h on the phone and he says to tell you "zhe ge ren bu hao." Then he asks if that is right.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Congrats on moving on Gwyn!!! Thats awesome! I'm really glad you are so strong.
Author gwynieatpain Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Your English is not crappy at all! It's better than my Spanish, and I know how incredibly difficult Mandarin is for English speakers, so I'm sure English is difficult for Chinese speakers. And you speak both Mandarin AND Cantonese! I really admire you. Wow, seven weeks. It's been a year and four months for me and I have not stopped thinking of him for one second, or dreaming about him every night. It's agonizing. And he left me for the bass and an imaginary fiddle player. I love him so much, still, and would take him back in a heartbeat. Your ex sounds like a real jackass! You're better off without him, seriously. I'm talking to my ex-h on the phone and he says to tell you "zhe ge ren bu hao." Then he asks if that is right. Does he mean ..." It's this guy's fault"? or " this guy is not good"? Hard to figure it out. I still think of him sometimes. Trying very hard to think the good side of his and all our good memories, it makes me feeling warm and happy. It's been five years, he was my only love but his behavior is unforgivable. This makes my will stronger. Now I'm not interested to talk to him anymore. Honestly, if he comes back to me one day I'm not sure how I react. I asked mom to kick me hard if I want to go back.
sedgwick Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Does he mean ..." It's this guy's fault"? or " this guy is not good"? Hard to figure it out. He means "this guy is not good." How do you say it? He hasn't been to class in a while because he recently moved to a new city and is trying to find one.
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