Stockalone Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 I know if i end up single at 38, i will start my own little family. That alone gives me something to look forward to whether I marry or not!! That is not really an option for a man. At least it wouldn't be for me. The whole idea isn't really appealing to me. Besides, to the best of my knowledge, surrogacy is illegal in my country. For a woman, the single parent idea appears to be a more feasible option. I have to be thankful for my brother, sister, parents, nieces, nephews, that I have a roof over my head, good job, & great friends! You may not get the one & have kids. But u still can be happy single! It's not like I look for the next bridge to jump off, but being single does leave me feeling empty/unfulfilled sometimes. Sure, you can be content, even happy with being single, but IME, it's not the same as being in a good relationship. Nearly none of the things I like doing would become less enjoyable by having a gf. In fact, most of them would become more enjoyable. Sure, there are new experiences every year and life is what you make of it. But sometimes it just feels as if time simply flies by. Generally speaking, it's wash, rinse and repeat year after year. I even agree with you that there are lots of things we should, and hopefully are, grateful for. Family, friends and hobbies can keep me busy and entertained, but it is not a substitute for being in a relationship with the woman you love. There is something missing that I cannot provide on my own. I tried ignoring the longing for that love, quite successfully for a couple of years actually. To my own surprise though, it is still there.
Shygirl15 Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Gender: Female Age: 33 Seriously? Duh. No offense but I have always thought you were somewhere in the 50's.
Trialbyfire Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Seriously? Duh. No offense but I have always thought you were somewhere in the 50's. You've obviously never seen a picture of me. Maybe I'll post another pic, one day!
Brimstone_Angel Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Hello I'm a 35 year old female that is not single at the moment, but after reading some of the sad posts on this subject i had to write. I bet your happy though aren't you? It is easy to say when you have had a great dating life (if that was your desire), especially when your in one. I read some really sad replies on here, ie. people don't want to live because they aren't married or have kids?? That is just so sad! Why do u need a man/woman to make you happy?? U should surround yourself with the people that love you & do activities that you enjoy! & have a Plan B like I do. Think of this. If you are hungry. Will water do? How about a good night sleep? If you wanted to be a dancer, got injured and had to do something else for a career. Yeah you do that, but you will not be completely fulfilled because this is what you wanted for your life. The same is for me with having a wife and children. I DON'T want to be single. I do have hobbies and people that keep me distracted, but when I think about what I am missing in my life, when I see all the happy married people hugging, kiss, and giving those special glances. Or seeing the kids rush up to their dad/parents. It reminds me I have not accomplished that. Yes, I live, but I am not fulfilled because I am that hungry man. Growing up I also pictured that I would be married with 4 kids by the time I was 30, my life didn't work out exactly that way. However, I always had a back up plan just in case I never found my Mr. Right. My Plan B was to have my own family with or without a man. To be a single mom by choice if i never found Mr. Right. I know some people won't agree with my decision to have a baby without a father, but I have to do the best I can with what God gave me. But that what you chose to do. That is what your life is. That is the path God has planned for you. I am not you, I am who God has designed me to be. I know its hard, cause I get sad at times, but u can't let your happiness rely on finding a man/woman! It does not rely on a woman or kids. It is a feeling of inadquacy, not feeling like I failed in a goal. It is about missing something that one really wants. And it is depressing to me. Yeah I am an published poet. Yeah I am an published photographer. I have been a Marine. I have seen other countries. I have done a lot of things with computers. I am learning computer graphics and animation. But, you know, as happy as these things make me. I am still alone at night and by myself. My closest friend is my cat and I spend most of my social life looking for a job. Just had to write! Life doesn't always go the way you planned, but u have to be thankful for what you do have! One can be thankful, but still feel short. I am happy for all the things that God has given me. I thank Him every day and night, but I would still love the blessing of a good wife and children. Oh, and since you mentioned God... Fornicating is against the will of God. So, unless I decide to adopt (for I have given up on my fornicating ways), then I am not really accomplishing my desire. I want to spawn my own children.
Author spookie Posted November 19, 2008 Author Posted November 19, 2008 Your work life is impacting on your logical thought processes. You sound like an actuary! spook, you're 23 years old with plenty of time to meet someone special. You've only begun working in a serious job in the last year. Have some patience and lower your expectations of yourself, or at minimum, don't self-flagellate when you haven't gotten to where you want to be, yet. If I was thinking like an actuary, I wouldn't so blatantly ignore the existence of standard deviation. I'm thinking like a cynic.
Love_Forest Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Gender: F How long have you been single? Always Are you in love? yes, with a man i was dsting 3 times How often do you go on dates? 10/years, but most of them I meet the person once Where do you meet people? beach, shop, dating site etc Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? the persons i meet only once I do not have connection with them, and the short term dating is because the man do not open up to me Do you want to be in an R? yes What are you looking for? marriage Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? I am already empty of being alone What do you do on the weekends? hiking, church, dinning, shopping What's your sex life like? no sex life right now How often? With whom? Dates? Short R's? F-buddies? How many partners a year? How do you feel about them? Is your clock a-tickin? I think so
D-Lish Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Age: 30 something How long have you been single? 3 years Are you in love? I'm resisting it currently How often do you go on dates? 3 times a week plus- but with the same guy currently. Where do you meet people? Online dating, pubs, events Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? Either choose the wrong type of guy or shy away from the right guy out of fear of being hurt. Do you want to be in an R? Possibly. What are you looking for? Loyalty, humour, adventure, great sex Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? I have in the past. I have someone currently that gives me butterflies What do you do on the weekends? Go to dinner with friends, play rockband, pubs... or see my current guy. What's your sex life like? How often? Amazing currently- blow your socks off, can't get enough kind of sex. 4-5 Times a day when we see each other. With whom? Dates? Short R's? F-buddies? An up in the air kind of thing. How many partners a year? maybe on average 3. How do you feel about them? Normally aloof about it- but it's not that way with this one, I like him. Is your clock a-tickin? My clock ran out of batteries a while ago...
IrishCarBomb Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 If I was thinking like an actuary, I wouldn't so blatantly ignore the existence of standard deviation. I'm thinking like a cynic. I hope you also take adverse selection and selection bias into account with everything you read on this site.
D-Lish Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 I think I am - provided that taking it up the arse doesn't count. HAHAHA!!! I think it does count Nemo.
D-Lish Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Seriously? Duh. No offense but I have always thought you were somewhere in the 50's. HA! You need to see her pic....
Storyrider Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 That's very depressing. But what if some of us want more?! There has to be something more than our meaningless, single existences. At least I hope there is. Something more than sharing our glorious single lives with... ourselves. What's wrong with wanting a little more?? This is America, dammit! There won't be any single people in the Obama presidency. And if there are, we can invent a new status, oh yes we can, like semi-single, or sporadically single. (it has to be alliterative). Also, I've been thinking, if none of the above appeals to you, why can't single people get married to themselves?! This would cut down on divorces. We could pass a bill.
Trialbyfire Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Also, I've been thinking, if none of the above appeals to you, why can't single people get married to themselves?! This would cut down on divorces. We could pass a bill. For assorted residents, they can use a mirror to reproduce with!
lino Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Gender: M Age: Almost 28 How long have you been single? Forever Are you in love? No, not 100% sure that I ever have been either. Possibly once or twice I was. How often do you go on dates? 2-3 times a month Where do you meet people? Through friends/relatives mostly and sometimes through work contacts. Sometimes at random times & places. Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? I was too nice to girls who didn't appreciate it. Do you want to be in an R? More than anything in the world! What are you looking for? A beautiful lady who likes me, respects me and cares for me just as much as I do her. Nothing more, nothing less. Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? Maybe, but if I haven't found it by now I doubt I ever will, don't really know if I believe such a woman exists anymore If I don't find it I'll keep doing what I'm doing now and adopt 2 kids a bit later. What do you do on the weekends? Work, play sports, spend time with my friends and family, go out with women, have sex. What's your sex life like? Not bad but it'd be better if I had feelings for her. How often? 5 or 6 days a week. With whom? Dates? Short R's? F-buddies? F-buddie, sometimes dates when it gets to that stage. How many partners a year? In the last 2 years about 3 or 4 on average. How do you feel about them? Current one I have no feelings for, she's just a good root. Most of the previous ones I had strong feelings for they just weren't returned Is your clock a-tickin? Isn't everyone's?
lovestruck818 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Gender: Female Age: 26 How long have you been single? Since August 2008 Are you in love? No How often do you go on dates? A lot Where do you meet people? Bars, through friends, on the train, just about anywhere Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? B/c men wont date me- I am way too pretty and they just want sex. Do you want to be in an R? Def. What are you looking for? A relationship...and my mind, mostly Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? I'm destined to be alone forever...3 different psychics have told me this- it's not in my cards to find my soulmate, so no, not expecting to find it...and this is what life has given me so I have to deal with it. What do you do on the weekends? Drink, party, see friends, shop What's your sex life like? lol...what sex life? How often? n/a...it's been a while With whom? Dates? Short R's? F-buddies? I'll only have sex with someone I am in a relationship with How many partners a year? depends who I am in a relationship with How do you feel about them? if I am having sex with them I obv like them alot Is your clock a-tickin? ugh yeah
zhsoj Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 This won't be that interesting, still thought I'd post it... Though I'm not sure I'm "single" as I've never not been "single". Gender: Male Age: 25 How long have you been single? Since birth. Are you in love? Dunno. I may have been twice, but the other party was always unavailable. How often do you go on dates? Never have been. Where do you meet people? Nowhere I guess... Tried bars (not for me), trying the online thing... Kind of a small college town. Very small work environment. Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? N/A Do you want to be in an R? I think so, but then I have never been in one... Maybe the grass really isn't greener on the other side... What are you looking for? Don't know... Perhaps it's cultural pressure, perhaps biological... Maybe it's just so that when my mother or sister ask if I have a girlfriend once a year I can say something other than no... Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? Perhaps I'll find "it". There is always the chance I'll be hit by a bus tomorrow. If I don't find it... Then I guess nothing will change in that regard. What do you do on the weekends? Hike, bike, take landscape photos. What's your sex life like? N/A How often? With whom? Dates? Short R's? F-buddies? How many partners a year? How do you feel about them? Is your clock a-tickin? Meh... It sure becomes more difficult to explain to relatives with every passing year... Especially frustrating as culturally it needs to be explained...
Brimstone_Angel Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 ...Is your clock a-tickin? Meh... It sure becomes more difficult to explain to relatives with every passing year... Especially frustrating as culturally it needs to be explained... Makes me want to shoot the person each time they ask me. I say it plain and simple... I am looking for a relationship and the women who claim to want one too are even more selective than I am.I am unemployed right now and I have not find a woman who is willing to take a chance on a guy in my situation, despite the fact I am busting my butt to find work. Its not my fault I am over qualified for all the jobs I tried for or lack the education level and/or years of experience and other skills (which I have not learned or had experience with) that most places want.I am shy and quiet, unfortunately the nice quiet guy don't get the girl. And no, being a man I am not will not endare me to a real woman.And if you are really concerned, why don't you hook me up? It is obvious my efforts aren't working. That usually shuts them up for a few months.
fral945 Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? B/c men wont date me- I am way too pretty and they just want sex. So do you think your relationships would progress if you were not pretty? I'm sorry for laughing, but this has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read.
MarieD Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Fral, i'll have to 2nd that laugh! I'm sorry. But I never heard someone actually say that. I know they could think it but to actually say it??
Brimstone_Angel Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 So do you think your relationships would progress if you were not pretty? I'm sorry for laughing, but this has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read. Na. They probably realized she's doesn't want a man who is short or who is not white collared. I personally love dating beautiful women. As a matter of fact, all the women I have dated have or could have been models. Maybe it is the personality that destroys the beauty.
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