Chinook Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I always had the perception that ppl in their thirties were more likely to want something serious, though. At my age many guys are commitophobes still.That's my experience of guys in their 30s! Those who are single and have always been so are usually players and those just recently out of a long term relationship want to be players... purely my experience of course. Not ALL guys are like this and my experience is by no means extensive. I have visited a few online dating pages and it seems that most guys seem to be looking for no strings fun only. Girls too. It just seems to me recently that there is a whole lot less intimacy in the world. Kinda depressing really because it makes the world a more lonely place. Maybe it will change maybe my perception is a little skewed, I dunno.
Green Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I always had the perception that ppl in their thirties were more likely to want something serious, though. At my age many guys are commitophobes still. I was out a few weeks ago and met a girl on the street it was her sisters wedding the next day and they were all waiting for the rest of the limo pasengers. Anyways I thought she was cute and I got her number and it was like after I got the number I found out she was 32. And she was like your going to call right, and I was like "Yeah" but then I thought about it and how she wanted me to take her out for steak on the date(steak is awsome just expensive like a $50 date for the both of us)... and I was like she's 30 I'm not calling... Had she been the exact same person and been 22... I'm sad to say I would have called! Any ways your suposedly really hot and so suposedly is spookie the OP of this thread so once again its just anoying to hear about this... By the way I was in Chicago for a short stint this weekend great "town"
johan Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 This thread is so depressing. And I think we all need to get laid. You'd get more uplifting responses on another forum. People don't come to LS because their love life is going according to plan. Some people are just in a rut.
Isolde Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I was out a few weeks ago and met a girl on the street it was her sisters wedding the next day and they were all waiting for the rest of the limo pasengers. Anyways I thought she was cute and I got her number and it was like after I got the number I found out she was 32. And she was like your going to call right, and I was like "Yeah" but then I thought about it and how she wanted me to take her out for steak on the date(steak is awsome just expensive like a $50 date for the both of us)... and I was like she's 30 I'm not calling... Had she been the exact same person and been 22... I'm sad to say I would have called! Any ways your suposedly really hot and so suposedly is spookie the OP of this thread so once again its just anoying to hear about this... By the way I was in Chicago for a short stint this weekend great "town" Annoying? You bet!
Green Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Annoying? You bet! You know like when rich people complain. Your hot 22 year old smart, pretty, sexy girl who is complaining about how you can't find a bf... so yes anoying in that sense
Isolde Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 You know like when rich people complain. Your hot 22 year old smart, pretty, sexy girl who is complaining about how you can't find a bf... so yes anoying in that sense Wait, that's kind of mean. How can you parallel me to a rich person? Rich people HAVE lots of what they want, whereas I DON'T.
Isolde Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Rich people HAVE tons of what they want ($$$) and ask for more. I have -0- of what I want and all I ask for is -1- guy I like
Green Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 rich people have the money to buy anything they want just like you have the sex apeal to get the guy you want
Isolde Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 <-- you made me cry with your inexplicable meanness
Green Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 what ever then I direct it away from Isolde and at the other twenty something girls posting in this thread
IrishCarBomb Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Gender: M Age: 27 How long have you been single? Little over one year. Are you in love? Not at the moment. How often do you go on dates? Totally varies with circumstances. Typically about 2 dates per month if I had to guess. Where do you meet people? Friends of friends, gym, parties, randomly, etc. Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? I don't really know. Do you want to be in an R? Certainly. The previous women in my life have been a great positive influence in my life. I was a better person around these women, and I'm a better person having known them. Even bad relationships taught me a lot about myself, once all the dust settled. What are you looking for? A level-headed dorky girl that likes to go on adventures (and evidently can handle cheesy phrases like this). Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? Yeah. There's plenty of great women out there, I have faith she'll come along one day. If not, it won't crush me. I have a lot of great things going for me, and I think the world has a lot of fun and cool stuff to see and do in it. If my romantic life doesn't play out perfectly... well then I'll just enjoy the other facets of life. What do you do on the weekends? Parties, work (sadly), go to NHL/NCAA/NFL/MLB games, take a weekend trip, see new movies, play the piano or guitar, try to discover new ethnic restaurants in my city, go to concerts (theater or just live music at a dive bar), go fishing/biking/golfing/etc. What's your sex life like? Good. How often? A few times a week. I'm not in a relationship so it's just whenever I coordinate with the F-buddy. It can go down if I start dating someone interesting (making the f-buddy activity stop altogether). With whom? Dates? Short R's? F-buddies? A girl and I from a long time ago together made an arrangement pretty much like a F-buddy setup. We have sex fairly regularly, until one of us gets into a relationship. How many partners a year? Varies from around 2-5 How do you feel about them? I can't sleep with women that I don't respect. I have positive feelings toward them. Is your clock a-tickin? No. No rush for children/marriage. I want to have those things someday, but that day is not today, and not tomorrow... but soon... and for the rest of my life. (Here's lookin' at you kid...)
Nemo Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 You'd get more uplifting responses on another forum. People don't come to LS because their love life is going according to plan. Agreed. In my experience, people who are having extravagant, satisfying sex are just too exhausted to post about it. Sexual frustration, on the other hand, lends itself to the written essay.
Star Gazer Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Gender: F Age: 30 How long have you been single? About nine months... not nearly as long as it feels. Are you in love? Not at the moment, but I'm very smitten - uncomfortably so. How often do you go on dates? It really depends. Right now, I see the guy I'm casually dating (but really into) only about 3 times a month due to schedule conflicts, but also go on about 2-3 other dates with other guys (first and/or second dates only). Where do you meet people? Through the organizations I'm involved in, friends of friends, the gym/playing tennis, old friends resurfacing, and online. Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? I'd say it's a combination of many factors, but generally comes down to having difficultly finding someone who wants what I want on the timeline that's comfortable for me, or who simply isn't the type of person I want to be in a LTR with. Do you want to be in an R? I do, but only the right one. I don't want a relationship just for relationship sake. Although, I feel like I'm a better person when I'm in a happy, healthy relationship, and hope to find myself in one sometime soon. It's been a while since I've been in such a relationship though. What are you looking for? A level-headed dorky guy that likes to go on adventures (and evidently can handle cheesy phrases like this). (Stolen from ICB.) Also, a guy who wouldn't get freaked out by the occasional flash of my cards. Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? I hope so. I haven't resigned myself to believing it won't happen. What do you do on the weekends? Hang out with friends (parties, dinners, bars/lounges), go wine tasting, play tennis, go skiing in the winter/boating in the summer, camping, concerts, movies, mini-trips to local places, dates. What's your sex life like? Could be awesome if I was capable of a FWB scenario. I've got many prospects. Unfortunately, I'm not capable of that, so it's pretty non-existent right now. How often? Right now, none. How many partners a year? Varies depending on whether I'm in/was in a relationship during that period. How do you feel about them? Each one is unique, can't really answer that. Is your clock a-tickin? I've been feeling a little behind lately. I don't own a home, I'm not married, no children. I worry that by the time I find the right situation, I'll be too old to have children of my own. But at the same time, I'm definitely not in a rush.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 The rampant cynicism of this thread is kind of surprising. I'm not saying it's a bad thing...I'm just surprised. Am I the only one that starts to crave a relationship and a short visit to LS scares me off from wanting one? LOL
ShoeGirl Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Gender: Female Age: 22 How long have you been single? 6 months since my last real relationship, I've had 2 short flings or something since then Are you in love? Not right now How often do you go on dates? A couple times a month Where do you meet people? Bars, through friends, Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? various reasons, there is no pattern to it Do you want to be in an R? yes, I miss being in a relationship What are you looking for? I'm not really sure, i'll figure it out when I find it Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? I don't know what I'm looking for so I'm bound to find something What do you do on the weekends? Sleep in, watch tv, go out to bars, shop, whatever comes up. What's your sex life like? non existant right now How often? With whom? Dates? Short R's? F-buddies? How many partners a year? 3 this past year How do you feel about them? I loved one, and was dating the other 2 Is your clock a-tickin? Not really, I'm 22...
monkey00 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Gender: M Age: 24 How long have you been single? 6 months, though after that I had dated a girl for 3 months which failed to progress into anything. Are you in love?no How often do you go on dates? At least once every 1-2 weeks Where do you meet people? Bars, online, through friends/co-workers Why do your dates fail to progress to an R?I think because someone in either party aren't on the same page. And the fact that I haven't really met anyone I truly want to be in a R with. Maybe I'm a commitment phobe? Do you want to be in an R? Yes I'm open to it, if it happens - SWEET!, if not, dating can be almost as equally satisfying. What are you looking for? chemistry, laughter, companionship, friendship, and more. Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? I think I will. I think I have good odds. If I don't..I'll keep doing what I'm doing until I get there. What do you do on the weekends? Biking, out with friends, visiting family, chores, dates What's your sex life like? As of now, Nil. I won't sleep with a girl unless I know that I really really like her How many partners a year? 1-2 How do you feel about them? nothing Is your clock a-tickin? Haha, hardly. But I do want to settle down and have a family before I hit the big 3-0.
Brimstone_Angel Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Yours was the only happy post. But for the people looking for the kind of toe-curling sex that involves love, the prospect doesn't seem good. Judging from the couples I know IRL, it seems like if you didn't manage to end up with your high school or college sweetheart, you're pretty screwed. Do you guys even know any couples who met as legit adults, who went on to last?[ /quote] My uncle and aunty stayed until death did them part. Even though he cheated and hit her once in the beginning of their marriage, they must off been married at least 30 years. Another aunt and uncle stayed together until she died and he died like a year or two later. He died because he missed my aunt so much. I know another couple who met by chance in an airport did not date, but got married almost right away and they were married at least 10 or 12 years when I met them in Japan. My knuckle head brother and his wife seem to be making it, even though their religious affiliation are totally different and at odds with each other. He is Muslim and she is Christian. It is not about if you get married to your HS sweetheart or not, many people don't and still make it. Its about putting in the effort to make the relationship work and last.
Brimstone_Angel Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Yours was the only happy post. But for the people looking for the kind of toe-curling sex that involves love, the prospect doesn't seem good. Judging from the couples I know IRL, it seems like if you didn't manage to end up with your high school or college sweetheart, you're pretty screwed. Do you guys even know any couples who met as legit adults, who went on to last?[ /quote] My uncle and aunty stayed until death did them part. Even though he cheated and hit her once in the beginning of their marriage, they must off been married at least 30 years. Another aunt and uncle stayed together until she died and he died like a year or two later. He died because he missed my aunt so much. I know another couple who met by chance in an airport did not date, but got married almost right away and they were married at least 10 or 12 years when I met them in Japan. My knuckle head brother and his wife seem to be making it, even though their religious affiliation are totally different and at odds with each other. He is Muslim and she is Christian. It is not about if you get married to your HS sweetheart or not, many people don't and still make it. Its about putting in the effort to make the relationship work and last. Of course most might seem sad. That is because most of us answering are people looking for love or who don't care at all. Maybe some of us might have the hope that by revealing this intimate part of ourselves a kindred spirit might see something and take a chance. For others it might be therapy. And for others, it could be just something to do. But, I think it is always to have a good place to do all these things. For me, this is the closest thing I have to a regular social life.
AnonyMOUSE18 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Gender: female Age: 28 How long have you been single? almost 2 months Are you in love? I have no idea. My concept of being "in love" got messed up because I went through a divorce less than a year ago. I definitely have people that I obsess and yearn over, but I'm not really in love with anyone in that mutual elated way. How often do you go on dates? Once a week, at least - sometimes less, depending on the week. Where do you meet people? School, Internet (match, okcupid), Friends, Bars that have lots of other graduate students at them Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? So far, it's because I still don't know how to be nonchalant and casual during the fragile beginning stages. I tend to throw myself into things, and scare the guy off. I've done this a WHOLE bunch of times. Right now I'm seeing someone, and taking it very slow and refraining from contacting him too often, etc. It's working so far, but I can only really DO it because I'm not extremely into him, yet. I'm just content with things. No firey passion. I tend to PREFER firey passion that makes people do romantic, wacko things.... Do you want to be in an R? If it was a good one that enhanced my life, where I was in a mutual in-love scenario? Hell yeah! Otherwise, I know I'm better off single. What are you looking for? Someone I'm attracted to that is extremely smart, well-educated (at least an MA degree), has a sense of humor, is liberal, can be silly, likes cats, isn't OCD or uptight, and...has that mysterious quality that allows / makes me fall in love with them. Also, I want them (obviously) to adore ME too!! Do you think you'll find it? I'm sure I will - it's just a matter of time and some luck. I've found loads of candidates already, and I've only been dating a year. (Was married & together with husband for 8 years) What if you don't? I love my friends and family, and I will be healing and growing whether I'm in a R with someone or not. I do worry about it, though, I must admit. I'm fairly eager to find someone wonderful for me. I want that cozy marital lifestyle, again! What do you do on the weekends? Oh lord. I date like a fiend, go out to bars and restaurants with friends, and am generally behaving like a social butterfly fluttering all over the city. It's very fun, but sometimes exhausting! I do correct papers and do work at coffeeshops during the day, and go to yoga. What's your sex life like? Decent. I can always find someone worthwhile to have sex with, even when I'm not technically dating anyone. There are lots of sexually deprived grad student guys out there! LOL. I'm definitely selective, though - it has to be someone I know, respect, and trust. It's usually someone I've gone on a date with before. How often? At least once every month - usually more, if I'm dating someone I like. With whom? Dates? Short R's? F-buddies? Dates and Short Rs How many partners a year? For 8 years it was my ex-husband, and now...I've had sex with about 4-5 people this year. *counts to herself* Oh, okay, make that 6. How do you feel about them? They're all good people. I respect them, and stay good friends with them. Is your clock a-tickin? Yeah, I admit that it is. I think we all need more sex, y'all! Heehehe.
flc Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Gender: M Age: 50 How long have you been single? 1.5y Are you in love? Yes How often do you go on dates? 2-3/week Where do you meet people? online & elsewhere Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? 2/5 usually do Do you want to be in an R? Yes What are you looking for? Someone who loves me is fun with grown kids and probably not interested in marriage Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? A little of this and a little of that What do you do on the weekends? Drink eat and be merry What's your sex life like? Excellent How often? 3-5 times/week With whom? GF How many partners a year? 2-3 How do you feel about them? Good Is your clock a-tickin? Sure. I'll be dead in about 30 years
sunshinegirl Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Yours was the only happy post. But for the people looking for the kind of toe-curling sex that involves love, the prospect doesn't seem good. Judging from the couples I know IRL, it seems like if you didn't manage to end up with your high school or college sweetheart, you're pretty screwed. Do you guys even know any couples who met as legit adults, who went on to last? Oh please, this is nonsense! Most of my friends and family members did NOT meet their spouses in high school or college, but in the real world (or grad school) as "legit adults". For one thing, I'm nearly 23. For another, I'm pretty wise. I'm keenly aware of how time speeds up every year. I know how people get into routines. If I meet 0 people a year, and I have 15 more years to find someone with whom to have children... 0*15 is still 0. Spook, at your age I had yet to have any kind of real romantic relationship. My first one didn't begin until I was 26 (26!!!). In the eight years since, I have had 4 significant relationships, or 5 depending on whether you count a summer fling in Africa. So take heart, my dear. Just because the horizon looks empty right now doesn't at all mean that it will be forever.
You'reasian Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Gender: Male Age: 28 How long have you been single? A few months Are you in love? No. How often do you go on dates? Maybe once a week. Where do you meet people? Randomly, when going out. Why do your dates fail to progress to an R? Differences in core values, differences in relationship goals. Do you want to be in an R? Yes. What are you looking for? Companionship, fun Do you think you'll find it? What if you don't? I don't know. Its not a big goal in my life, but if I do find it, I'd be pleasantly suprised. What do you do on the weekends? Relax, watch movies, watch sports, drive and volunteer. What's your sex life like? Safe. How often? Not as much as I'd like? With whom? Dates? Short R's? F-buddies? Usually with girlfriends. How many partners a year? Ideally 1, but realistically maybe 2-3. How do you feel about them? They're nice. Is your clock a-tickin? My watch is a tickin.
MarieD Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Hello I'm a 35 year old female that is not single at the moment, but after reading some of the sad posts on this subject i had to write. I read some really sad replies on here, ie. people don't want to live because they aren't married or have kids?? That is just so sad! Why do u need a man/woman to make you happy?? U should surround yourself with the people that love you & do activities that you enjoy! & have a Plan B like I do. Growing up I also pictured that I would be married with 4 kids by the time I was 30, my life didn't work out exactly that way. However, I always had a back up plan just in case I never found my Mr. Right. My Plan B was to have my own family with or without a man. To be a single mom by choice if i never found Mr. Right. I know some people won't agree with my decision to have a baby without a father, but I have to do the best I can with what God gave me. I know its hard, cause I get sad at times, but u can't let your happiness rely on finding a man/woman! Just had to write! Life doesn't always go the way you planned, but u have to be thankful for what you do have!
Nemo Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 , but u have to be thankful for what you do have! That's very depressing. But what if some of us want more?! There has to be something more than our meaningless, single existences. At least I hope there is. Something more than sharing our glorious single lives with... ourselves. What's wrong with wanting a little more?? This is America, dammit!
MarieD Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Nemo I see what you are saying! We all want the 'white picket fence' dream. But unfortunately life doesn't always give us what we want. I want it all too, but who knows if i will ever get it. I have to be thankful for my brother, sister, parents, nieces, nephews, that I have a roof over my head, good job, & great friends! You may not get the one & have kids. But u still can be happy single! I know if i end up single at 38, i will start my own little family. That alone gives me something to look forward to whether I marry or not!! U have to think positive!
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