livinlovin Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 I have been divorced for a few years, so I know I am more cynical than most about love and dating. Most people agree that relationships take work and (in a marriage at least) at certain times it is your commitment keeping you together through hard times. So, how do you pick among one relationship that takes work versus another? If you don't believe in a concept of a soul mate, then how do you pick one special person to spend your time with, knowing that there are likely others out there who might be a great partner to you, too?
pandagirl Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 I have been divorced for a few years, so I know I am more cynical than most about love and dating. Most people agree that relationships take work and (in a marriage at least) at certain times it is your commitment keeping you together through hard times. So, how do you pick among one relationship that takes work versus another? If you don't believe in a concept of a soul mate, then how do you pick one special person to spend your time with, knowing that there are likely others out there who might be a great partner to you, too? I think choosing a person to be with has more to do about yourself, than who you pick. If you're in a happy, safe and confident place in your life, then most likely, those feelings will transfer to your relationship. When you're happy and the person you're with makes you happy, then I feel like everything will fall into place naturally.
Author livinlovin Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Wow, that's a little unromantic. So the whole notion of "falling in love" is really just you making a choice to love someone??
Geishawhelk Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 No, it's a commitment. There is absolutely no doubt whatsoever, that the odds of there being someone else out there who is equally compatible and just as much of a perfect soulmate, are very high. The thing is - to not go looking for it or expect to find it. So you either choose to be with the one you're with. or not.
Touche Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Wow, that's a little unromantic. So the whole notion of "falling in love" is really just you making a choice to love someone?? No. We can fall in love with anyone. The "choice" part comes in when we decide whether we want to stick it out with that person or not. And that's where the "unromantic" part you describe comes in. That's where you have to really, I mean REALLY look at the person you've fallen for. How compatible are they really? I've been divorced once also. I was once also very cynical. My cynicism served me well though. The second time around I made a wise choice...unlike the first time around. I didn't base it solely on "love." I looked deeper. And so must we all if we have a chance in hell of finding a match for us that will last beyond the honeymoon period.
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