lofi_tokyo Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 I just unblocked my ex from AIM. Hes online, and I'm wishing he'd say hi. But he wont. I want him to say hi and I want to tell him I miss him, I've accepted things but I miss him. Does he still love me? Of course, what I want to hear is: -I miss you too, yes I still love you just not in the same way. I'm sorry. Instead, what I'd probably get is me being sad, him not replying... god only knows. So its time to reblock him, go on as usual, feel pain from being replaced. Go to work. Somedays I feel like life is great and I totally accept the breakup - thats most days. I've moved on and I see the good in us breaking up because it had to happen. Other days? Or other moments? Like now? I feel like I'm back in the denial stage where I go "nononono hes coming back just you wait". Rawr. Hopefully I get shaken back into healed mode soon. This is sucky! Just posting because posting right here right now saved me. Whew. I would have initiated contact otherwise.
alphamale Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 rejection is part of life tv....happens to everyone. i know its hard to believe but it even happens to me
carhill Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 I want him to say hi and I want to tell him I miss him, I've accepted things but I miss him. Does he still love me? Sincere question.....why? I do empathize with your pain. I really do. Resolving romantic feelings is exceedingly difficult, even when you know/suspect the other person's interest is waning. Perhaps a re-read of an older thread might be helpful. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t164746/ Strip away all those old thoughts, as you've stripped away the history in your hair, and begin anew
Ingenue Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Tokyovogue, remove the temptation and just delete your ex entirely. There is nothing that says you cannot add him back to your IM at a later time when both of you are emotionally ready to establish a friendship. But after a break up, we all need distance and a stripping away of the reminders that flag our relationship. I know that it's difficult to imagine that the person once involved in your life is moving on or won't respond to a greeting. It's a terrible feeling. But we become stronger and better when we don't allow others to dictate how we feel (said the girl who has completely uninstalled IM off her system completely to resist temptation). It sucks, it's hard and some days just are exceedingly difficult to get through. Take care. PS How was TO?
EmperorR Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 ah your like me tokyo sometimes i got on msn or yahoo and just unblock her and put something stupid in my name hoping when she replies then i just reblock and go on with my day, i felt great yesterday like yay im there, then today i found a old picture on my computer and I felt like crap how could she do this to me cheat on me and kick me to the curb
Author lofi_tokyo Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Tokyovogue, remove the temptation and just delete your ex entirely. There is nothing that says you cannot add him back to your IM at a later time when both of you are emotionally ready to establish a friendship. But after a break up, we all need distance and a stripping away of the reminders that flag our relationship. I know that it's difficult to imagine that the person once involved in your life is moving on or won't respond to a greeting. It's a terrible feeling. But we become stronger and better when we don't allow others to dictate how we feel (said the girl who has completely uninstalled IM off her system completely to resist temptation). It sucks, it's hard and some days just are exceedingly difficult to get through. Take care. PS How was TO? TO was amazing! I am really considering studying there for my masters (assuming I can't skip it for my PhD program ). Its beautiful in every way - nice foliage, nice art, nice architecture, nice people! There also soooo many little cute shops to discover! Every day was an adventure. As for AIM - yeah I had him deleted off too, but I re-added him. You're right in suggesting to just uninstall it entirely, because I used to use to to talk to a bunch of people, but... well now I'm hardly on anyways, and when I am on, I don't talk to many people. I did for a while - I was like a super AIM user after the breakup, but now I don't use it much. Uninstalling is something to seriously consider - I'd be afraid of losing touch with a few key friends, but I guess I can always text them if all else fails. Carhill, your questions always help me realize how I'm kind of... over thinking or over dramatizing things! Nextime I start to miss my ex I'll ask myself WHY I have no idea why I miss him actually - as it stands he is not being someone I should really miss. As for the memories, I'll never lose those, so I shouldn't miss them. He was cute/funny in some ways. I suppose I miss that, but I've met a lot of other cute/charming guys so I really should focus on the good instead, huh? And yeah! I cut my hair and I shed that history, so its time to let go of my ex too! Thank you for the insightful posts and responses everyone, even the short ones help out.
ioncebelieved Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 For a couple of months, I left my messenger on in hopes my ex would hit me up on it. Then she deleted the entire email account altogether. I was saddened for a while about it, but then realized I was NO longer a slave to the IM mess. Give me your account on AIM, Tokyo, I will say hi for your ex!! Okay, just trying to make you smile!!!
LittleDove Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Must be one of those days Tokyo...I struggled today too. But, after reading this, I see myself in it, and I have just blocked his email address as spam, and removed a 3rd party facebook application, so I cant even peek to see when hes online. Its gut wrenching, knowing they 'choose' not to say a dammed thing! I think its because these paticular guys are lacking a certain something...maybe a heart...
Ingenue Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Yesterday and today is one of those blahhhhh days for me as well. I feel rather empty, sad, morose, nostalgic and pitiful all rolled into one. I keep thinking that it'll take one month for every year that we've been together. So as I'm fast approaching 5 months since the break up, why am I not at a better place than where I currently am. Blahhh. Blahh indeed.
BackonTrack2 Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I went through a bad break-up a few months back. You know in all honesty, I broken up with people, and now I was broken up with. So I highly doubt the EX either remembers you. Chances are they moved on with life, forget about us and doesn't even think twice about the person they left behind, they are probably happy or something. Anyway, me on the other hand, its been months since my break, about 9, but the relationship was over since this time last year. I just did not know. Anyway, what I'm saying is, not a day go byes when I don't think about her, I find that I made it a pattern, sort of like a habbit now but I just keep going and moving on and reminding myself its the past, wasn't meant to be, she left me. Its cool, I can deal with it but I think thats just how life works. I am 100% sure she forgot about me, I don't know that for certain but she did cheat on me for months, lie to me, betrayed me, then told me to **** off n broke me to pieces + her friends say she was happy. Odd though, during the time of our break, she still had feelings, I could tell, but for whatever reason she choose OM over me.. What did she say "I couldn't be myself with you" so whatever, thats life. This is my burden to bear, sad though, she's going to be with me for a long time until I find another, its cool, she was nice to me, she deserves to be happy, well up until the end when **** hit the fan and she could't lie anymore. Strange though, for some reason, she thought it was all my fault. Guess that was the guilty conscience eating away at her. I did text her after the break, about 4 months after, she never responded, that was 3 months ago. When she left though, she sure did cover he basis, she made 100% sure it was clear to me it was over, even called my mom and said she moved on, hell even, contacted me 3 weeks after I sent her an email curshing her out to stop harassing her and that she's in a serious relationship. Whatever, she was a whore anyway, so thats how I look at it to make myself feel better. One last note, that sort of cheers me up, she had been having sex with this OM for like 8 months and yet she always came back to me, up until the end when I found out, I guess I would never know her reasons, but if I am to be honest with myself, she only came around because I gave her money. I threw everything in her face in the end though, even fired her like 3 times and broke up with her like 2 times during the course of our "break-up". She said some strange things too, at the time it was strange but in hindsight it all makes sense. "You are going to bring girls over, I am going to be working, You are going to ignore me, I am going to be sad" so naturally I'm like "HUH?? what?? what the hell you talking about" Make sense now though, other noteable quotes "I don't want to be with you, but I don't want to loose you" again HUH?? what the hell are you talking about.. "I don't love you anymore" and my response was "stupid girl, how can you stop loving someone" "I wanted to pick a fight with you so I could break up with you" <-- That was funny so my response was "That would be mean" "I know your not going to listen to me but ..." Reading those quotes make me realize, that she felt unappreciated. Sorry baby girl, I was busy, When I was ready, you was already ****ing another. I couldn't cope with it... It was eating away at me. I couldn't forgive you, I still can't, I'm sorry. My favorite of all Time "I know I did nothing wrong but deep down I feel guilty inside" Random Ones - When I sure didn't understand what she meant "I feel like a whore, why are you so nice to me" Then cries "I know what I am doing is wrong but I can't helpmyself, I feel like a whore" cries "Men are so stupid, they never know what they have until its gone. Its to late!, its to late!" <-- This one I was like "Boy she's angry, not sure why" "If I didn't need the money I wouldn't come over here, then we couldn't have sex and I wouldn't be a whore" then cries <-- this one I said "Baby, I love you, I am going to take care of you" then she looks really angry and shakes her head all the time im like "What, huh? who?? K??? huh??" Some really hurtful ones "We have no future together, we are not together anymore, please understand when I say I am severing the connection" "With all due respect do not call me again, I expect this to be the last email between us" "You seem to think the world revolves around you, you seem to think I should come at your every beckon call" "I will pray for you" Oh well, thats life, I've accepted it so its like whatever, but the left-overs, I didn't anticipate this, I didn't anticipate thinking about her everyday for well, for forever... Didn't know that was going to happen... Maybe I should of paid more attention to her when we was together.. Oh well... Took about 8 months, 3 rebounds, hanging out with friends, excerise, talking with family, almost getting evicted, lost of business, to get to this point. I am in a good place now. Didn't know she meant that much to me... Had no diea... The thought didn't even enter my mind that she was cheating on me, well it did ONCE, but it went away. In the end though, I knew I had to get rid of her, I told myself, I have to get rid of her, but I said.. Just a little bit longer... but outside influences put information within my pressence so I had to do what I had to do, but in the end, I folded and crumbled like a little girl, ended up sending love letters and calling her crying like a girly man. Even drove by her house.... That was pathetic of me. Low point of my life. Even sent her a drunken text, strange what "Love" does to you, I don't think I can call this love... I was someone else. But now I'm cool with things, maybe it was for the best, only time will tell.
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