cherryade Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Ok, so it's well known that there's a very fine line between love and hate, but what about love and...nothingness. My ex doesn't (seem to) hate me. But presumably he doesn't love me, even if he did two weeks ago. He wouldn't treat someone he dislikes the way he has treated me, so how is it possible with someone who a) has done nothing wrong and b) you once loved? Is this normal? Is it really possible just to switch it off? If so, how? I want to do it. I'm sure you all know how it feels to love someone more than anything, but quite clearly they don't love you. We wouldn't be here if we could just stop loving them, forget the past and move so completely on to something new. I can't comprehend what has happened, and therefore I cannot move on. I'm stuck. Please help x
alwayssme Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 it hurts when the person you thought loved you, all of a sudden just stops caring and doesn't even give you an explanation. I don't think we can switch it off but wait it out, and hope that someday over time our feelings will be gone.
Chinook Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Very often they switched off way before they ended things. They already did their grieving for the end of the relationship. That's why it looks like they could walk away without a backward glance. That's why there's no love, no hate, just nothing. It's sad and it's one of the most annoying things ever because it's the ultimate betrayal because it's selfish.... it's your relationship too and yet they take it upon themselves to go through that decision-making process by themselves, without talking to you at all. It's not fair. But over time, when we catch up, we feel nothingness too. Kinda bleak really for two people who felt so much for each other
alwayssme Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Very often they switched off way before they ended things. They already did their grieving for the end of the relationship. That's why it looks like they could walk away without a backward glance. That's why there's no love, no hate, just nothing. It's sad and it's one of the most annoying things ever because it's the ultimate betrayal because it's selfish.... it's your relationship too and yet they take it upon themselves to go through that decision-making process by themselves, without talking to you at all. It's not fair. But over time, when we catch up, we feel nothingness too. Kinda bleak really for two people who felt so much for each other that is so true!!
crazysnail Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Very often they switched off way before they ended things. They already did their grieving for the end of the relationship. That's why it looks like they could walk away without a backward glance. That's why there's no love, no hate, just nothing. It's sad and it's one of the most annoying things ever because it's the ultimate betrayal because it's selfish.... it's your relationship too and yet they take it upon themselves to go through that decision-making process by themselves, without talking to you at all. It's not fair. But over time, when we catch up, we feel nothingness too. Kinda bleak really for two people who felt so much for each other Boy that just rings so true for my situation. I agree totally with the part about it being also your relationship and he doesn't even try to work it out with you before he decides that he wants to give up on you - give up on the relationship. It's even worse when all the while you have all the faith and belief in the world in the relationship and that you can work it out but he just doesn't want to because he thinks "that someone else can make you happier" which is just BS. Sorry if I sound harsh.
hereandnow Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Hey, nothing wrong with harsh. It really hurts me right now when I think about my ex grieving the relationship before she called it off. I mean, if that's what happened, then she got to get over me while she was still with me. Now I'm sitting here screwed, without her, trying to get over her. It seems so cold blooded. The perfect crime! Hahahaha.
alwayssme Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 hereandnnow aww, i feel the same way!! it's not fair how they moved on without us knowing and when they broke it off, im guessing they were almost over us if not over us already. so sad I don't know how much people here believe in God but we are all his children and he does look after us...i believe something great will come from this! i hope and pray at least
hereandnow Posted November 19, 2008 Posted November 19, 2008 Nothing happens in God's world by mistake! I'm having a hard time staying spiritual right now though. Probably only one pair of footprints in the sand right now! I have managed to keep up with some of my service work. I'm a recovered alcoholic and I have people that I sponsor in recovery. I also had the chance to reach out today to a guy who just got dumped by his girlfriend and it felt good. Funny how you always get what you need.
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