Sbrizio Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 The girl i've fallen for works in my same company, we have tight contacts for work reasons, and we have several friends in common. We know each other since > 1 year and developed a very strong connection. I felt in love with her exactly 1 year ago. (the full version of the story is here) In the last 2 months she's been on the verge of leaving her bf and be together with me, but then she changed her mind. She is not in love with me. We agreed to keep far away from each other as much as possible cause she knows perfectly how intense are my feelings for her. Despite this agreement, i feel like every single day is a battle...and i'm not winning them all. When i manage to keep away from her, she comes to me. Soner or later i heat up, till the point i ask her out or do something which goes beyond the friendship, and at this point she walks away. Yesterday i had a very bad day - my feelings for her were ramping up. I called her and told her that i was not good at all and i was still feeling things for her... she told me something on the lines: you know i made my mind. Then after some 1/2 hr, she asked me if she could come shopping with me (as i was going). At the end i refused. Today she joined me at the canteen...we were talking with colleagues and as soon will be my birthday, shortly followed by hers, she proposed me to do a joined party.. WTF?? Me, her and her BF?? So i can spoil my birthday for ages? I sent her to hell (so to speak). I am depressed, cause i feel trapped...either i walk away - change job - or i face the constant dance of desire, jealousy and rejection. When i'm totally away from her (vacations, etc) i feel i start to heal...but as soon as we make contact, this restart. I'm not looking for any advice. I know what are my options. It's just that some day is f***ing hard. Its hard to wake up in the morning thinking to her, coming at work and make efforts to dodge her, then finishing to have contact, and feeling i'm desiring her again. Then making an effort to push her away and still going home thinking to her. Rewind and play again tomorrow. Sbrizio
BikerBeagle Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 This is exactly why you don't date people you work with.
sugahoney Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Sbrizio, I know exactly how you feel I am/was dating someone I work with who is thinking about getting back together with his ex. I know he doesnt have the same feelings I have for him and it hurts everyday. I try so hard to back away but it is very hard. I have never felt like this for anyone and I am counting down until I go on vacation next month so I can have some time away from him and have the courage to end it. When I try to back away from him he suddenly starts to be very attentive, popping up at my desk, send me emails, calling me to talk. Its all very confusing. He knows how I feel about him and knows how I feel about his ex who doesnt trust him but he is still considering it (that I cant understand) Most people on here will tell you dont get involved with someone you work with but that doesnt really help, you really have no control over who you develop feelings for. I really feel you pain and get what you are going through.
Peter_pan Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 im not gonna go into detail to much or read all of your post in the link, but the fact is she has a BF, and its people like you that cause a girl to leave there man like how my ex left me for her manager cause he wooed her everyway he could. if that isnt the case and i miss read something then ignore edit so you two fell in love and THEN she got a bf that wasnt you.... ok that sucks. why would she do that. why do women f with us guys? why? what did we ever do wrong, and if its true that men are from mars women from venus, maybe it should have stayed that way lol
Author Sbrizio Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 Thanks Sugahoney, i feel your pain too!! It's exaclty the same, as soon as you detach they come to be reassured... And it's true you can't help who you fall in love with... in my case i wasn't really trying hard, she made the 1st step.. I hope your vacations will help. When i took mines it helped, except that afterwards she really came near me and i fell again. PeterPan... i'd never try to break up an existing couple...yes she got her BF after me...and then she came back to me sending mixed signals.
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