Peter_pan Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 when will the roller coaster end with me feeling good and bad, up and down. like one day im fine i dont think of her or miss her, then next day i miss her and want her back i am only 21 and i know that right now its me time and when i go to uni i wouldnt have enough time to cope being in a relationship esp in terms of "if i was with my ex" the thing is, i remember i asked her when we could be back together when she told me she wanted to be single, she said, "i dont know what the future holds it could be months years, who knows, id never say never" she also said, she just wants me to have other girlfriends so that i "get it out my system" which i think she meant because id only been with her, i kinda needed to see the world before settling down and then it causing problems further down the road.... who knows i could have been the one to go off? but all that she she said, was of course before i knew she had been dating the guy she is still with. dont know if they live together, im sure they do by now. but what im saying is, when i miss her, i logically tell myself, i just couldn't even if the chance arrises, after everything. but i know she was the one, and i do want a future with her, no one else, even after all this time, even though ive had a date, and not been intermit with another girl. and it kills me we dont talk and that she went into re no2 right away and burnt the bridges like that. its like.... thanks... and then for her to talk to my best mate and tell him she isnt with him anymore is just like wtf. was kinda expecting something from her then i no we weren't happy back then, so all the reasons for the break up were that she wasn't happy and thought she would be happier with someone else and so would i, she even wrote that in a letter to me, before finally announcing her affection for him i hate when i asked her about him she would brush me off or ask why do i always ask about him. she said "me and him jst get on well, like i do with everyone else". .... not true clearly. ugh life. i had the one i know it. she was the real deal, so many found memories, she was so nice. why did i let her slip. i want her back. he dosnt deserve her just feeling bit ****ty about it so thought id post here.
northstar1 Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 when will the roller coaster end with me feeling good and bad, up and down. like one day im fine i dont think of her or miss her, then next day i miss her and want her back i am only 21 and i know that right now its me time and when i go to uni i wouldnt have enough time to cope being in a relationship esp in terms of "if i was with my ex" the thing is, i remember i asked her when we could be back together when she told me she wanted to be single, she said, "i dont know what the future holds it could be months years, who knows, id never say never" she also said, she just wants me to have other girlfriends so that i "get it out my system" which i think she meant because id only been with her, i kinda needed to see the world before settling down and then it causing problems further down the road.... who knows i could have been the one to go off? but all that she she said, was of course before i knew she had been dating the guy she is still with. dont know if they live together, im sure they do by now. but what im saying is, when i miss her, i logically tell myself, i just couldn't even if the chance arrises, after everything. but i know she was the one, and i do want a future with her, no one else, even after all this time, even though ive had a date, and not been intermit with another girl. and it kills me we dont talk and that she went into re no2 right away and burnt the bridges like that. its like.... thanks... and then for her to talk to my best mate and tell him she isnt with him anymore is just like wtf. was kinda expecting something from her then i no we weren't happy back then, so all the reasons for the break up were that she wasn't happy and thought she would be happier with someone else and so would i, she even wrote that in a letter to me, before finally announcing her affection for him i hate when i asked her about him she would brush me off or ask why do i always ask about him. she said "me and him jst get on well, like i do with everyone else". .... not true clearly. ugh life. i had the one i know it. she was the real deal, so many found memories, she was so nice. why did i let her slip. i want her back. he dosnt deserve her just feeling bit ****ty about it so thought id post here. Peter I feel your pain, I really do. I know how hard it is to not be able to get back the one you love But, as you've said. you are young and have lots of time to still meet 'the one'. When I was 21, I dated a girl for a few years, my first real long term relationship. Thought she was the 'one'. I ended after college after 3 years. At the time, I was torn up, we didn't talk for a good six months as we had to get over each other. Anyways, I moved on, she moved on, we've both dated others since. What I'm saying is I know it hurts, but you will look back one day without so much pain and regret. You will date many more women in your life. Enjoy your youth and experience all you can. Pick yourself up and realize there are lots of other girls out there.
ioncebelieved Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Only 21 y/o..... Peter, you have the rest of your life man! I agree with Northstar. Get to be his and my age and you will start feeling more helpless. Even though he and I are not helpless. It just takes time and with that, I am going to start a thread about something on my mind.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Okay Peter! Here is a cheer up post because I think you need it! Things you have going on for you: -You're 21. Thats a sexy age. No ands ifs or buts about it. -You had your picture posted and you're HANDSOME! -I joked about our hair being the same and you joked back, so you clearly have a cute sense of humor. -Your thing says you're from the USA but your posts use British English, so I am guessing you maybe have a British accent. I don't know about in the US, but here in Canada thats SEXY! So right there you're a prize. Who cares if you're not in uni RIGHT NOW. You plan to be someday right? You're still young and hot, so whatever, you have time to do that **** when you're ready. I know tons of guys at my work who are not nearly as good looking or as sincere as you and they get tons of pretty, down to earth, and amazing girls. Trust me, if those slimey or semi-slimey guys can get girls that good... just thing of how well you can do if you just let yourself start being happy and stop thinking about all you dont have. Your accounting is way off and its playing with your head! You're counting the bad, when you have a ton of good you're ignoring.
Author Peter_pan Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 Okay Peter! Here is a cheer up post because I think you need it! Things you have going on for you: -You're 21. Thats a sexy age. No ands ifs or buts about it. -You had your picture posted and you're HANDSOME! -I joked about our hair being the same and you joked back, so you clearly have a cute sense of humor. -Your thing says you're from the USA but your posts use British English, so I am guessing you maybe have a British accent. I don't know about in the US, but here in Canada thats SEXY! So right there you're a prize. Who cares if you're not in uni RIGHT NOW. You plan to be someday right? You're still young and hot, so whatever, you have time to do that **** when you're ready. I know tons of guys at my work who are not nearly as good looking or as sincere as you and they get tons of pretty, down to earth, and amazing girls. Trust me, if those slimey or semi-slimey guys can get girls that good... just thing of how well you can do if you just let yourself start being happy and stop thinking about all you dont have. Your accounting is way off and its playing with your head! You're counting the bad, when you have a ton of good you're ignoring. cheers guys i was feelin awful last night, her being so pretty rips me up. i will only be handsome for so long lol... losing hair etc yeh i put im from usa so if anyone reading my posts may be my ex then it will be like haha! but im really from the uk and im 100% british beef. i want to visit canada now lol would be great, ive got another year off next year, goin to uni sept 09 to study to be an architect
EmperorR Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 Try being 23, shy, quiet, graduated working full time with people who are like in their 40's and 50's
Author Peter_pan Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 Try being 23, shy, quiet, graduated working full time with people who are like in their 40's and 50's i appreciate everyone is different, im not shy at all or quiet lol, im quite a pimp when it comes to it. but rarely meet a girl that i actually like in that way. i keep thinking what would i say to my ex if given the chance... i know i house hate for her. for what she did and how she did it.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 I really think you should stop thinking about what you would do if your ex did ________. Whether it be telling her off, taking her back, making her cry, whatever... none of these thoughts are productive for you. You should instead be thinking about the future without her in it, because shes gone now! All you're doing by continuing to think about "what I'd do if my ex _____" is holding yourself back from healing. Now I admit, I have moments where I fantasize that my ex misses me terribly and I say "nu-uh we're done", but I stop myself after about a minute because a) the likelihood of that actually happening = 1/100000 b) who the hell knows how I'd actually react c) blah! I'm tired of thinking about him!
Author Peter_pan Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 I really think you should stop thinking about what you would do if your ex did ________. Whether it be telling her off, taking her back, making her cry, whatever... none of these thoughts are productive for you. You should instead be thinking about the future without her in it, because shes gone now! All you're doing by continuing to think about "what I'd do if my ex _____" is holding yourself back from healing. Now I admit, I have moments where I fantasize that my ex misses me terribly and I say "nu-uh we're done", but I stop myself after about a minute because a) the likelihood of that actually happening = 1/100000 b) who the hell knows how I'd actually react c) blah! I'm tired of thinking about him! i just hate the way she spoke to me when it was over and i couldnt work out why she didnt want to give us another go, and its because she wanted him. makes me so mad, when i called her still trying to get her back after the email she sent, I WISH I HAD JUST GONE NUTS AT HER. why should i have been all nicey nice to her.... oh yeah that stupid thing called love. what a tool i am. now i live without her at all and without having a go at her for being such a bitch by moving on like that straight away. her bro asked how i was about stuff, i didnt no wat he meant so just said yeah im good. he also asked if i was moving back up there, i said no, things didn't work out for me up there. he then smiled and congratulated me, saying he ****ing hated it up there, he said i couldn't stand 2 months of it, how the hell did you last 2 years... yeah i am sick of dwelling to, but its all i do. and it sucks, I CANT WAIT TO GET MY LIFE ON TRACK OR SOMETHING.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 If you can't wait to get your life on track then do this: let go! By contantly wishing you had done things differently you are not letting go, you are holding on. If you want to get back on track and move on, then you need to stop holding onto how you would have done things differently. If you yelled then, or if you yell now, 2months, 2 years, 2 decades from now it WONT MATTER, so long as your MOVE ON! Eventually you'll be with another girl, but that can only happen if you free yourself from your obsessive thoughts. When you're with that girl? You will not care who the hell your ex is, or what you could have said to her, you'll be happy in your own right, but you've gotta let go. Every post where you say "I can't let go" or anything else where you are saying you cannot or are not moving on, you are being defeatist. The first stop is to stop surrendering to continual hurt, and to start being Peter. A Peter who is not tied to thoughts about his ex. Do it! Let go! Honestly, if you're sick of dwelling, stop dwelling. Easy as pie. Well, its not 100% easy, but just remind yourself over and over, ACTIVELY tell yourself "no I will not dwell I will do ____ instead". If you need to think about something think about... really tasty food or something... whatever it takes. lol
Author Peter_pan Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 If you can't wait to get your life on track then do this: let go! By contantly wishing you had done things differently you are not letting go, you are holding on. If you want to get back on track and move on, then you need to stop holding onto how you would have done things differently. If you yelled then, or if you yell now, 2months, 2 years, 2 decades from now it WONT MATTER, so long as your MOVE ON! Eventually you'll be with another girl, but that can only happen if you free yourself from your obsessive thoughts. When you're with that girl? You will not care who the hell your ex is, or what you could have said to her, you'll be happy in your own right, but you've gotta let go. Every post where you say "I can't let go" or anything else where you are saying you cannot or are not moving on, you are being defeatist. The first stop is to stop surrendering to continual hurt, and to start being Peter. A Peter who is not tied to thoughts about his ex. Do it! Let go! Honestly, if you're sick of dwelling, stop dwelling. Easy as pie. Well, its not 100% easy, but just remind yourself over and over, ACTIVELY tell yourself "no I will not dwell I will do ____ instead". If you need to think about something think about... really tasty food or something... whatever it takes. lol lol i'll become anorexic or something if i do that. i think my ocd obsession has turned to obsessing about her. and im never going to win i am peter i want to let go, cant ! lol really.... if i could i would, if i could do anything, even finding another girl i would!!! CANT not in my small town anyway.
JooLee Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 you cant let go cos you still believe there's hope! i suggest, contact her, talk to her, get hurt and feel the "I'VE HAD ENOUGH" moment and then in time you'll be back to yrself. ONLY BETTER! well, i believe sometimes its better to let it out, maybe then you can let go. because you know you did what you can.. but then again you gotta have a strong heart before doing so. do it with no expectations.. and i agree wt tokyovogue.. british accents areee soooo friggin' SEXY!! look how many girls here on LS that are already intrigued by your accent LOL soooooooo turn that frown upside down! ( i know im corny lol)
Author Peter_pan Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 you cant let go cos you still believe there's hope! i suggest, contact her, talk to her, get hurt and feel the "I'VE HAD ENOUGH" moment and then in time you'll be back to yrself. ONLY BETTER! well, i believe sometimes its better to let it out, maybe then you can let go. because you know you did what you can.. but then again you gotta have a strong heart before doing so. do it with no expectations.. and i agree wt tokyovogue.. british accents areee soooo friggin' SEXY!! look how many girls here on LS that are already intrigued by your accent LOL soooooooo turn that frown upside down! ( i know im corny lol) yeh i know, i dont know what it is inside me that thinks i could get her back but its telling me i can. however the logical thing is that stops me contacting her every-time is that she lives in a different country now... ok its still in the UK but i wouldnt be happy being back up there now that she has built her life there and thats where its going to be for some years to come... plus then there's the fact she is with him. soo... basically if i contacted her now it would be to have a massive go at her for doing what she did how she did it, and ask her why she never contacted me when i reached out, or why she didnt even say happy bday... She did say she would want to be in contact with me, but obviously thats not true since when ive reached out ive got blanked... also i asked her best m8 why she may not be replying, all she said was that she dosnt want to talk about him to anyone. then i asked why, she said because they split up, ( this was 3-4 months they had been together) so obviously they had problems then again in june i heard she wasnt with him, and now there back again... so realistically all i could get from her is contact and possibly light friendship but that would be all and thats IF she replies to me this time. maybe thats what i should do. but then the anger wont let me cause id want to say something about her actions, i don't want to reach out again for friendship/contact and then for her just ignore me like im dead. can you see why this is confusing and hard for me? at the end of the day i reached out to her, even though she was the one with the new "bf" and for what ever reason she hasn't spoke to me since. i dont know if thats his or her or both's doing f sake.
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