EmperorR Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 ya so my ex cheated, and I guess even now almost two months later I'm still ashamed embarrassed to admit the real reason to my family why we broke up. Today I went out for the first time since I as cheated on and dumped. It felt great to get out, I haven't in so long and yes it was with a girl. So of course my mom just had to call for the first time in so long, and just had to say so I guess it really is over between you and my ex. I said yes and she just had to say oh I feel so bad for her I loved her so much. For the first time in Awhile I felt angry and mixed with sadness, I just feltlike screaming don't feel sorry for the cheater lying betrayer. I know it's dumb but why do I think I'm keeping my dignity if I keep lying Arghhhhh
bubblegum Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 You think you keep your dignity by not telling that the reason you broke up was because she cheated on you because you're still wounded by it. A part of you actually believes she must have cheated on you because you weren't good enough for her. That is the raw, wounded irrational part of you that still aches. Of course we all know that it's not true that that's why she cheated. She cheated because she was a selfish coward. Good for you for going out with that girl! It's funny, because everyone else hears that someone cheated on you and their reaction is "oh wow what a jerk they were." But we somehow twist it all around and think "oh wow I'm just not good enough for them." That's why cheating is so devastating.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 It's funny, because everyone else hears that someone cheated on you and their reaction is "oh wow what a jerk they were." But we somehow twist it all around and think "oh wow I'm just not good enough for them." That's why cheating is so devastating. Its so true! I guess I still have the same ego I've always had since my ex and I split... I don't feel any less attractive as a person, but I have certainly gone through moments where I just feel like - if only I could have been better in this or that way. Now, I made mistakes, but I really only started distancing myself from my ex when I realized I had given all I could and he still did not understand me. So yes, I pushed him away as he pushed me away and he found someone new, its partially my fault. But, my saving grace is that... even if I had performed perfectly, I don't think our relationship could have lasted super long anyways, it just needed to end. I guess... Cheating sucks because it takes a breakup that needed to happen (in my case) and makes it go from "yeah were not compatible" to "yeah were not compatible, and I've found someone who IS compatible, so bye". Its painful. Ahh well, I wish my ex the best of luck all the same. Hes a pretty entertaining guy, very light hearted which is nice, and yeah, I'll miss him as a person, but not our relationship! Adieu!
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