Ignorant&Innocent Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 I'm a senior in high school, and I'm seventeen years old. Well. It seems like I have everything going for me, but I'm maybe too nice. I keep getting locked up in the "friendzone". I have so many friends that are girls, but unfortunately that is as far as they see it. I don't act like all the guys who constantly flirt and make themselves look like complete idiots. And I 'm not rude to girls just to get their attention. I listen, I'm polite, I'm understand, many of my friends that are girl call me romantic even. I thought that's what girls wanted in a guy. I'm basically the opposite of what all my friends say they hate in a guy. I can't just turn myself into a typical mindless male to attracted girls. For me friendship is the start of a relationship, not the doomed ending of one. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 It's fine to be nice but what girls your age find really disgusting is predictability....a guy who is always there to save the day....whose reaction can easily be anticipated. They don't like a guy who just sits there and listens to their BS about other guys, that'll get you wedged into the friend zone as fast as anything. They don't like to be showered with gifts, food, etc. constantly. They don't like a guy who is always around. BE TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE. Girls your age don't like a guy who is there everytime they snap their fingers. Get a life of your own away from them. Go ahead and be nice...but don't be sickening! Link to post Share on other sites
windows Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 sounds alot like me. I'm going to keep tabs on this one. well... Tony is right-ish from my own standpoint of view. I'm 16 (in year 10) and I hear you. The girl I have a crush on would never pick me. Why? Her go-to man (although rude, somewhat crude and does nothing but complain) is just so much more interesting than me. You should see how they have constant little fueds and yet somehow are so close. It hurts but sometimes a girl really just wants something unique out of a guy; even if its constantly flicking each other in the face. This is something I've tried doing but I won't guarantee anything; I'm still doing it: Do one random spontaneous act each day. It might give you the courage to be something more than predictable. (remember: spontaneous means doing something without considering the consequences, a tough bogey to handle) Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 basically girls that age want a "bad boy" ... nice guys are automatically friend-zoned unless she's psychotic and wants to screw with the mind of a nice guy because she feels he's a hopelessly devoted puppy, you know? as bad as this sounds, you're going to have to start adopting a bad boy persona to make yourself interesting to girls. Basically, it's being a jerk. Because girls love nothing more than a challenge, as embarassing as it is to admit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ignorant&Innocent Posted November 15, 2008 Author Share Posted November 15, 2008 ha. It's not like I'm boring or anything. I have a lot of unique talents. But even that is a curse because all they want to do is show me off to their friends like their pet. And my niceness is not "sickening". And all this "you have to be a jerk" stuff isn't helping either. I've heard that a million times. You say to be unique and unpredictable, but at the same time you tell me to act like every other jerk out there. Which is it? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 for a decent, kind, really nice-sounding guy like yourself, being a deek every one in awhile IS being unpredictable, you know. It doesn't have to be anything major, either – ignoring someone or looking right through them when they're addressing you is easily jerkish behavior. So is being a smartass and inconsiderate. I know this is all very contradictory advice, but adding those not so nice quirks to your behavior makes you seem less a decent guy in some gals' eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ignorant&Innocent Posted November 15, 2008 Author Share Posted November 15, 2008 I'm not really sure if I would be attracted to a girl who likes those kinds of annoying quirks anyway. What good is it if I get a girl, but I have to act like someone else all the time. That's just ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
windows Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 nothing wrong with being nice. its good to be nice. in fact you should stay the same chivalrious fellow you sound like you are. being a jerk makes you well... a jerk and people don't like jerks. perhaps if you were to 'target' a girl. Make her feel... different to the other girls you're nice to. show her some 'special treatment' that shows you want to be more than just nice and friendly with her because as far as she knows, you're nice and friendly to everybody. If you can show that girl that you want to pursue something more, you're going to have to change your current game plan. of course its all irrelevent if that girls had her mind set about you. and when I mean unique, I'm talking about something that only certain people can share. I mean, not everyone can do that telepathic 'finishing each others sentence' thing me and my twin brother does. When I mean unique, there has to be something special between you and the said person. Like my example, my crush only has a feud with this other guy whom shes really close with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ignorant&Innocent Posted November 15, 2008 Author Share Posted November 15, 2008 Now that advice seems way more plausible. That's something I can do. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 It's fine to be nice but what girls your age find really disgusting is predictability....a guy who is always there to save the day....whose reaction can easily be anticipated. They don't like a guy who just sits there and listens to their BS about other guys, that'll get you wedged into the friend zone as fast as anything. They don't like to be showered with gifts, food, etc. constantly. They don't like a guy who is always around. BE TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE. Girls your age don't like a guy who is there everytime they snap their fingers. Get a life of your own away from them. Go ahead and be nice...but don't be sickening! Tony T is dead on. Keep that golden heart locked in and be able to be kind, but go out there and have fun. At that age, you need to go around, have the guts to ask for as many girls numbers as you can get, pay little attention to them and date around. The more the better. Be respectful, but don't care - does that make sense? Give yourself a good 10 years before girls will start to like you for your heart. Have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
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