dakotamaiden Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 he told you at the beginning he doesnt want a relationship, hes no good at it. (he has alot of guy friends from out of town theres always some visiting on the weekend ) but we are becoming closer friends, not hanging out, but alot of talking on the phone. one day he told me i love ya, your great. if it takes alot of time (iam okay with that ) is it possible he could want a relationship. hes been in a few bad ones. and a few years ago his wife which he loved very much left him. so i think he has issues , i dont blame him i probably would too. i like him so if it takes time for him to relize he really likes me , and i would treat him good it would be worth it. its a very nice great guy. anyone think thats its possible for him to change his mind about a relationship with me, if he needs alot more time than normal. need advice it would be well worth the wait. iam not into the dating scene and trying to frantically find someone. so if i have to wait be okay.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 he told you at the beginning he doesnt want a relationship, hes no good at it. Unless he tells you very explicitly that he now wants a relationship, AND he shows it with his actions -- believe him.
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 anyone think i have a chance with him ???
carhill Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 It's a pressure relief. Going gets tough.... "I told you I didn't want a R; I'm no good at it" and buh-bye Suggestion: Find a man who wants a relationship. There are lots of them out there, trust me...
You'reasian Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 he told you at the beginning he doesnt want a relationship, hes no good at it. (he has alot of guy friends from out of town theres always some visiting on the weekend ) but we are becoming closer friends, not hanging out, but alot of talking on the phone. one day he told me i love ya, your great. if it takes alot of time (iam okay with that ) is it possible he could want a relationship. hes been in a few bad ones. and a few years ago his wife which he loved very much left him. so i think he has issues , i dont blame him i probably would too. i like him so if it takes time for him to relize he really likes me , and i would treat him good it would be worth it. its a very nice great guy. anyone think thats its possible for him to change his mind about a relationship with me, if he needs alot more time than normal. need advice it would be well worth the wait. iam not into the dating scene and trying to frantically find someone. so if i have to wait be okay. Does he know you would treat him well? If you haven't communicated that to him (or shown him) it could be the catalyst for the two of you to get together. Try it - let us know.
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 yes iam letting him know how much i like him, and being caring to him. i cant go just find another guy, theres not many guys i like, and i LIKE him, so i have to get him to come around. i know he likes me. hes told me.
carhill Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 iam not into the dating scene and trying to frantically find someone. so if i have to wait be okay. "frantically" is not a word I wouid like to see describing the potential here IME, what happens in these situations is that the dynamic becomes a routine predicated on him not wanting a R. That undertone permeates the routine and it's very hard to change. If you want to do this, set a firm timeline for yourself; if you're not where you want to be with him at that point, then do what you need to do for you. Personally, and I've met very few women I'd consider having a relationship with in my life, I'd pass on this deal if it were a woman. Too much life experience talking to me
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 your a guy, what do you consider a relationship means. we are becomimg good friends, and enjoy talking on the phone sometimes 2 hrs sometimes 1 hr. i think we are getting in a closer friendship. is there any reason to get hung up on the word relationship. we enjoy talking, see where it goes. thanks i dont think iam going to hung up trying to label it, and just enjoy it.
carhill Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 I was in your shoes, oh, about 24 years ago. I had a very nice 2 hour conversation today which reminded me of that. I had a nice 3 hour lunch 3 days ago which reminded me of that. I have a really great friend who reminds me of that. I love her very much, and she I. Someday both of us might be ready for a relationship. Good luck! *(FWIW, I got married 8 years ago because I got tired of "waiting" for her; hope you do better)*
Author dakotamaiden Posted November 15, 2008 Author Posted November 15, 2008 okay thanks alot for your help.
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