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I cheated and we broke up and now had a great week end but now what is she doing?

premiumjet

By premiumjet
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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premiumjet Established Member

premiumjet

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I dont know if i should put this here or on gettin back together but here is where it is since we havent really talked about gettin back.

 

Anyway i cheated on her and she found out and we broke up a few months ago. At first she talked to me on and off and i saw her a couple times. We hung out and messed around a little but she always stopped it but let me spend the night. Then she stopped answering my calls totally. Then finally after weeks and weeks she answers and sometimes we talk nice but other times she would go off on me. Finally she agreed to dinner after canceling a few times and we go and it was fun. We ended up spending the whole week end together, friday thru monday!!! watching movies and hanging out cause it was raining so it was great.

 

But now she hasnt called me and i dont know what to do. I expected her to call like she did way back when we had a fight and then make up, even when she was worried about me cheating.

 

What should i do now? is she playin me?

Konfuzion Established Member

Konfuzion

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is she playin me?

 

No, she is the one that got played. She is probably just very confused and whats you back but at the same time doesn't trust you.

cherryade Member

cherryade

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You cheated. Then you broke up. As the recent recipient of this behaviour, I think I can safely say that if you really want her back you need to work your ass off. Maybe she still loves you, maybe she would take you back, I don't know. But bear in mind that even if she wants you more than anything else in the world, she's fighting the knowledge that you cheated and you could well do it again. You can understand that she wouldn't want to put herself through that again. There will also be plenty of people telling her NOT to take you back.

From the fact that she's hanging out with you and you say you had a great time, I think you've got a chance. But she stopped anything happening, so she's at least got the strength and self respect to protect herself from you. Even if she wants you back she'll be confused as hell.

Try your best to prove to her that you do love her. But it was your mistake and you'll have to understand and accept if she truly doesn't want you back. But for goodness sake don't do it if you don't mean it, or if once you've got what you want you'll treat her bad again. She deserves better.

Geishawhelk Established Member

Geishawhelk

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Anyway i cheated on her and she found out and we broke up a few months ago. ...............Finally she agreed to dinner after canceling a few times and we go and it was fun. We ended up spending the whole week end together, friday thru monday!!! watching movies and hanging out cause it was raining so it was great.

 

But now she hasnt called me and i dont know what to do. I expected her to call like she did way back .......

 

What should i do now? is she playin me?

 

Nope. She's doing what you should be doing. Getting on with life and enjoying it without hang-ups.

Try it. It's fun!

 

See what you lose when you fool around? :rolleyes:

melissa123 Established Member

melissa123

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Couldnt agree more

 

You dont just stop loving someone the moment they have cheated, sure it hurts like hell but love isn't like a switch.

 

My guess is she still loves you but you hurt her and she doesn't trust you.

Shes probably very confused.

Sometimes she thinks she can get over it and let herself love you again but other times the hurt and mistrust takes over and who wants to hang round with someone that hurts them?

 

This would explain her hot and cold behaviour.

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premiumjet Established Member

premiumjet

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Ok i get what you are all saying here. I add to what i wrote that when we did fool around it was really passionate, not all groping like most of our sex was before. and we did have sex during the week end we spent together. we didnt talk about gettin back or anything, she's been sure we are broken up. She even got a few calls on the week end and ignored one and took the others but went in the other room so i guess she could be dating?

 

She seemed so calm and pretty happy, i kinda expected some anger from her. At one time i started gettin ready to leave and she said i could stay and watch more movies but i said i gotta go do some work (i did) and she said ok and that was it, which was odd i expected her to ask more for me to stay. I ended up stayin.

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premiumjet Established Member

premiumjet

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My buddy says she might be playin me cause of how i hurt her, that she was givin me one last taste of what i am never going to get again. What do you guys think?

SarahRose Established Member

SarahRose

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Playing you? Dude you cheated on here and you don't seem too remorseful about it.

 

How would you feel if she had cheated on you?

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premiumjet Established Member

premiumjet

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I'd feel like sh#t and be pissed. I get that i really do, i get that i dogged her. But my question here and now is that she seems to have done a 180. So mad during our last talks on the phone, then cool when we were together and into hanging out the whole week end. And now no word from her.

 

Hot and cold I get it but now so cool?

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

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She's very hurt and confused like someone posted previously. All you can do is give her space and hopefully if trust gets rebuilt and both of you are mend to be together then time will time.

 

However don't just keep waiting for her to take you back, for now move on with your life.

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premiumjet Established Member

premiumjet

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I am moving on, i date new women, meet for lunch or drinks. Thats another thing I'm surprised she hasnt tried to stop me. I wonder if she's slowly moving on her self? If so how do i keep her interest in me?

Konfuzion Established Member

Konfuzion

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If so how do i keep her interest in me?

 

By giving her space.

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premiumjet Established Member

premiumjet

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By giving her space.

 

How does giving her space keep her interest up in me?

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

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How does giving her space keep her interest up in me?

 

Because by doing that you're allowing her to process and analyze what went wrong in the relationship and remember how girls hate men begging like dogs on their knees.

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premiumjet Established Member

premiumjet

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Because by doing that you're allowing her to process and analyze what went wrong in the relationship and remember how girls hate men begging like dogs on their knees.

 

I'm not begging her or anything but would call or mostly text every 2 or 3 days when she was ignoring me. Now she hasnt called me since our week end. which surprised me! So you think i shouldnt call her, wait for her to call me?

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premiumjet Established Member

premiumjet

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And does she feel glad that I'm not calling or textin at first but maybe after awhile she'll start thinking about me and missing me?

Angel1111 Established Member

Angel1111

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Do you mean that you spent an entire weekend with her and haven't picked up the phone to talk to her since then? Are you kidding me??? You're waiting for HER to call YOU? What is wrong with some of you men? I don't know about any other women but I would be completely insulted by that. It's a complete turn-off to me if a guy waits for me to call him. And, trust me, unless we are in a solid relationship, it'll be a long wait....somewhere in the realm of eternity.

 

You need to pick up the phone asap and see if you can recover from what, to me, looks like a serious blunder.

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

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I'm not begging her or anything but would call or mostly text every 2 or 3 days when she was ignoring me. Now she hasnt called me since our week end. which surprised me! So you think i shouldnt call her, wait for her to call me?

 

Yes I think you should do that. Maybe she's confused and must be wondering ''Well if he loved me why would he cheat''. For some people it starts kicking in, at first they can be sad then angry.

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premiumjet Established Member

premiumjet

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Do you mean that you spent an entire weekend with her and haven't picked up the phone to talk to her since then? Are you kidding me??? You're waiting for HER to call YOU? What is wrong with some of you men? I don't know about any other women but I would be completely insulted by that. It's a complete turn-off to me if a guy waits for me to call him. And, trust me, unless we are in a solid relationship, it'll be a long wait....somewhere in the realm of eternity.

 

You need to pick up the phone asap and see if you can recover from what, to me, looks like a serious blunder.

 

OH NO! I dont want to make a serious blunder! But what Angel says here is the opposite of what Ailec says! Call her or not call her? What should I do???

Curmudgeon Established Member

Curmudgeon

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I think he should stop with the "me, me, me." She's the aggrieved party but all I read is how she's confusing and confounding him. How self-centered and uncaring can you get? I've yet to read a word of true sorrow or repentance. She's much better off without him. I hope she's come to realize that.

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

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I think he should stop with the "me, me, me." She's the aggrieved party but all I read is how she's confusing and confounding him. How self-centered and uncaring can you get? I've yet to read a word of true sorrow or repentance. She's much better off without him. I hope she's come to realize that.

 

I got to say that I agree on that one there. I noticed the post was more focus on him and ''why won't she talked to me, what taking her so long'' than on ''How can I help her cope with what I did''?

 

Ok back to the poster. Have you thought of writing a letter and handing it to her in person, thus explaining all your emotions and any questions she may have?

Angel1111 Established Member

Angel1111

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I'm curious as to why you would think that not calling her is somehow the right move...?

 

Call. Her.

Angel1111 Established Member

Angel1111

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Some background :

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t165168/

 

Leave her alone. That's my opinion. Mature some more and try again with someone else.

 

I might agree with that - except that he spent 4 days with her. For a guy to do that and not call that night or the next day, is a huge insult to a woman. At least it would be for me. He has already screwed up enough - this is not the time for aloof and uncaring behavior if he's trying to salvage the relationship.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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IMO, he's not mature enough for a healthy LTR. I predict a cycle of unhealthy behavior to occur which will further damage her. Hence my advice :)

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