samsungxoxo Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 It's what most of us gals would lie about it. How about if he isn't that excellent in bed, you never get orgasms and at times ends too fast. Yes he did ask about it, most guys do. I didn't lie about the part on no orgasms but did on telling him that he's an expert on it so he doesn't get hurt. So must I keep the lie??? Or at least give him a clue, any way I can tell him how to improve on it.
Kamille Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 People learn about each other's bodies through various types of communication. You don't have to destroy his self-esteem to tell him what you need in order to be aroused. Good news: it means you don't need to tell him you lied. Since he knows you haven't reached orgasm, playfully tell him you would like to see what tricks you two can come up to make your sexual encounters even better.
norajane Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 Tell him what you'd like him to do without saying that he's not that great at it. It should be more of a "hey, let's try this, how about if we try that" than a "you're terrible at this, so let me tell you what to do better" kind of thing.
Lizzie60 Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 this is tricky.. because if you tell him that he's not that great.. he might be offended and tell you that you suck in bed too..
Geishawhelk Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive!" Even before a guy asks you stuff like this - you find a way to both enjoy sex together! How to mutually enhance life between the sheets! You offer suggestions before being asked! You discuss things openly, lovingly and intimately! Lies are the termites in a relationship.
mental_traveller Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 It's what most of us gals would lie about it. How about if he isn't that excellent in bed, you never get orgasms and at times ends too fast. Yes he did ask about it, most guys do. I didn't lie about the part on no orgasms but did on telling him that he's an expert on it so he doesn't get hurt. So must I keep the lie??? Or at least give him a clue, any way I can tell him how to improve on it. This is the opposite to women asking a guy "Do you really love me?" too early in a relationship. The way to answer these sensitive questions is to deflect them, then tell them what you want. Example: Guy: "Am I good in bed?" Wrong answer: "You're great darling" (if he isn't) Right answer: "Oh shush. Now, do *this* and *that*, if you really wanna turn me on and get me to f*** your brains out" Seriously, just avoid directly answering these questions. Dismiss them with a laugh, then immediately start "instructing" him on what to do (i.e. the stuff you like in bed). If a guy gets told "do this and I'll be in sexual heaven, and then do your favourite things" then he will jump to it, believe me. Men love to turn women on, they don't mind hints, just don't knock their ego - so do it indirectly and never answer a question that puts you on the spot. Let's face it, out of 100 guys only 10 can be in the top 10, the other 90 are the norm - help them out and put them up into those top spots by letting them know what does it for you Tact + good advice, and reciprocation - that's how to improve a couple's sex life.
Kamille Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 This is the opposite to women asking a guy "Do you really love me?" too early in a relationship. So, out of curiosity, how would you tactfully deflect this question? A women ask too early in the relationship "Do you really love me?"
RecordProducer Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 I think you should slowly introduce your demands for improvement. For example, next time you make love, ask him gently to do something. Another time, ask him to make it last longer because you want to prolong the pleasure that he is giving you - he is an expert, right? Give him some time. Sometimes, the sex improves as two people get to know each other better and become more comfortable together. The initial excitement and tension may loosen up and then the sex becomes longer. They learn what the other one likes, so their confidence grows. Finally, as the love becomes stronger, the erotic feeling becomes more intense. However, if things don't improve after a few weeks or months, you can classify you as sexually incompatible - and close the chapter. I mean, that's what I would do.
Trialbyfire Posted November 14, 2008 Posted November 14, 2008 It should never get to the point where you have to lie or fake. From the first time you make out, encourage with body language, words and sounds, the things he does that drive you wild. Discourage with body language, the things you don't enjoy. If there are things you want to try, weave it into an erotic fantasy. If it doesn't exceed his boundaries, he'll be all over you it! Dictating what you want, can detract from the experience, unless the man wants you to be the dominant partner or doesn't mind it if you get clinical.
casanovacorner Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 As a guy, I hate when women lie about stuff. But I'm an expert lol. Honestly, a few older women taught me a lot about women when I was 18. They told me what to pay attention to and if she seems to like it, keep doing it. You should tell him to "keep going" or "right there" when he does something right. Its just like training an animal. After a while, he'll know exactly what to do, and he'll become an expert. Not all guys are lucky enough to have women teach them what they need to know.
Hermia Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 Hi, I have been with the same guy for 12years and found myself in the same situation. I tried introducing new pleasurable things for us both, taking turns to say what we wanted and finally just givng him pointers. He said he was too uncomfortable with just trying things the way I wanted - all the while satisfying himself every time. In the end I got so fustrated with his 100th apology for being the only one who came that I just said to him "The sex is crap, you won't try what I need. We wont have sex 'cos there is nothing in it for me now and next time it will tun to resentment." We are still together 8 years later and he makes sure I know he is willing, even if he comes first. Try approaching it softly, then firmer, then tell him you need to get off too or sex isnt happening. People will take advantage if you allow them to, no matter how much they love you.
AlektraClementine Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 "The sex is crap Hahaha. That made me laugh. Hey has anyone ever dealt with a biter? I love my BF to bits and generally enjoy the sex. It was getting a little one sided and we dealt with that and he's very eager to please. BUT I made the mistake of saying once "that little biting thing you do is kinda cool". Now he's like a damned attack dog!!!
AlektraClementine Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 on second thought, I don't want to take attention from the OP. I'm gonna take this to the sex forum.
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