sailing Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I guess in my case, it just comes down to us being incompatible. I had standards, which were pretty low, I had to lie to my friends about how I was treated, but they were still too high for him, or something. Still I feel you haven't answered my initial question there Woggle! How is it that the man just falls out of love, even if it was out of love with the original fun girl from the beginning? The only answer I have arrived at is that they were never actually in love. We just filled some needs, not all. Perhaps they began to resent themselves for being base and, rather than having to acknowledge it, decided to remove themselves from the situation as quickly as possible, vowing never to do subject themselves, nor any woman, to that kind of deceit again. Who knows? I just hope the novelty, or the perceived trading up, isn't all that matters.
LittleDove Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 Hmm my X is just a worthless piece of crap. He didnt 'trade up'... he just settled for the first (and only woman ) to offer him what he needed. Some financial security!!!! LOL I had pulled the plug on that, and was well aware of his ways...im learning that the abusive guys font really want to stick around, once youre onto them. His new girl is niave, (although not young lol) and shes insecure, shes exactly the type for a codependant relationship, and thats what these heartless guys really want. Women they can 'get' something from. Once thier needs are met, we are thown out like yesterdays dirty dish water!!!
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 It's different in any case. People change and fall out of love. Some people FORCE themselves out of love. Remember there's a lot of self-destruction out there these days - some people run and hide when things get too serious. It's really difficult to know if you aren't the sort of person that would do this. I don't know that I could leave my boyfriend to straight away be with someone else. Even in doing that i'd feel I was 'cheating'.
LittleDove Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 I don't know that I could leave my boyfriend to straight away be with someone else. Even in doing that i'd feel I was 'cheating'. EXACTLY. And thats why it hurts so much. Its like theyre cheating our love or memory, or something...
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 17, 2008 Posted November 17, 2008 EXACTLY. And thats why it hurts so much. Its like theyre cheating our love or memory, or something... Definately feels they are cheapening the memory of you being together. You feel that seeing as you are going through a mourning period for them and the relationship - they should do the same.
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