Totally Disappeared Without A Trace

[manugeorge]

I dont think I am being as blatant as pursuing him. I walked by and if he wants to talk there I am. I am just surprised he wont even say hi to me now.

 

I know that he wants me. He wanted me before and I am sure he wants me again. We had great physical chemistry like I said.

 

Just because I did not call him back is no reason to totally disappear like he did. I thought all men loved the pursuit.

 

Seriously?? you are in your late 30s and you are this clueless? Did you get married at 10 or something?.

 

This post sounds either completely fabricated or you are real spoiled princess. So the guy is supposed to keep kissing your behind after you blatantly blew him off, just because "guys like the pursuit"??

 

Keep dreaming sista:rolleyes:

[elaina]

Well the honest truth is I was dating someone he knew (and sleeping with him). So when he asked if I was seeing someone the truth is I was but I liked this guy too. I was kind of ambivalent about the first guy and was sampling other men.

 

I had no intention of it getting as far as it did. It just kind of steamrolled after the make out session. I think the guy I ignored would be incredible in bed - he knows exactly what buttons to push with a woman. But he wouldnt take the next step even though I was almost offering myself on a platter to him.

 

After he got a bit clingy and insecure the week after the make out session is when I stopped returning his calls and txts. I am still seeing the first guy and the second guy does not know about him (I think though I am not sure). I have heard nothing through the grapevine that he blabbed that he was with me. He has just disappeared.

 

It kind of annoys me because I would like him to talk to me but now he wont.

 

Wow! "sampling other men." Wow, i guess it's alll about how you see other people and the expectations one brings. Maybe this guy didn't want to be a tasty treat but wanted to actually be a man who loves you and who is loved by you? And when you showed that's not what you wanted, he decided he didn't want you.

 

Our society today is so complex it's amazing! There are wonderful improvements like racism is slowly being replaced with understanding that all people are equal, :cool:and women can vote and do many other things that before they were not allowed to:cool:, and science/technology is making life easier for many people:cool:. However, it also seems much of the values are decaying, like committing to a person and deciding to love them and be loved and work at having a great relationship.

 

Several of my friends are from India. One friend's parents were married in an arranged match, and even though they didn't love each other at first, they made it a goal in their lives to love each other, and they had one of the best marriages I've observed! (My friend's father died two years ago from a heart attack, and the mom never remarried and never will, but you can still tell the love these two people had for each other! It still lives on.) Their respect and love for each other is reflected in their son, who respects and cares for women and wants a relationship with one woman.) Yeah I know not all arranged or "inlove" marriages work out like that definitely not, but many times it depends on the goals and purpose of life of the persons involved.

 

Anyways, I think you need to decide what is it that you want. Do you want to just sample men? Or do you want to have a relationship that involves trust, openness, and commitment?

 

Peace

[Charles1978]

I walked by and if he wants to talk there I am. I am just surprised he wont even say hi to me now.

Uhhh... you ignored him again. Seriously. If you like the guy, TALK TO HIM!! Tell HIM hello. All of your behavior towards him is doing nothing but confirming to him that he made the right decision. The problem is, you have done exactly what a woman should do if she wants to lose a guy.

[Trimmer]

I know that he wants me. He wanted me before and I am sure he wants me again.

Uh, how do you know? How can you be sure? Certainly not by his words - nor by his actions - so how?

 

Just because I did not call him back is no reason to totally disappear like he did. I thought all men loved the pursuit.

What, you think he owes you something? You think there is a set of rules he's obliged to play by? You think all men are the same?

 

I think you're in severe denial of at least the possibility that you are not "all that" in his eyes, that he was put off by your rejection, etc. He did not respond as you expected; you can either question the reality of what you are observing, or question your perceptions and expectations. Which is more likely to be off?

[kashmir]

Who ever said that men like the pursuit? I don't really care how I get it...I just want it. I'll pursue because girls won't pursue me, not because I like it. I hate it, in fact!

[Bells]

Just because I did not call him back is no reason to totally disappear like he did. I thought all men loved the pursuit.

 

Actually we're quite sick of pursuing actually.

 

And yes, just because you didn't call him back is a PERFECT reason for him to disappear.

[Island Girl]

Just because I did not call him back is no reason to totally disappear like he did. I thought all men loved the pursuit.

 

They love the pursuit as long as there are indications to still pursue.

 

You shut those down completely over and over again.

 

Now you just AT BEST like a screwed up girl who plays games. And at worst some kind of succubus who will steal his soul.

 

Leave him alone you mixed up bag of tricks. Get your head on straight and behave rationally.

[madgun68]

Just because I did not call him back is no reason to totally disappear like he did. I thought all men loved the pursuit.

Yes, actually, it is. If you're not going to bother replying to anything he sends (text, email.. whatever) someone is going to see this as a lack of interest on your side and walk away.

 

Heck, if I were in his shoes, I'd probably interpret your slow walk-by as some sort of game playing on your part. You certainly haven't shown anything up to this point (recently) to suggest you're interested in him.

 

If you're looking to strike up things again, you're going to have to be the one to start things off. Either that or just write this off and move on.

[D-Lish]

He made how many calls and texts before calling it quits?

Far too many in my opinion.

 

Come on, look at this logically. He texts, calls, e-mails, calls again... and you completely ignore him. You gave him every indication that you had zero interest after your last date.

 

I doubt very much that he still wants you in any way shape or form.

 

How long did you expect him to keep chasing you before you returned a call or text?

[sb129]

I am jumping on this bandwagon- I don't get why you are so confused either.

 

Sounds like you don't really want him, but you still want him to want you.

 

Does your ego really need that much stroking?

[bubblegum]

We're all wasting time posting here, like that poor guy wasted his time calling and texting her... she's ignoring us too now!

[Trimmer]

We're all wasting time posting here, like that poor guy wasted his time calling and texting her... she's ignoring us too now!

I'm telling you, though - I'm not ever giving up...

[xpaperxcutx]

If you're just dating around then one guy's attention shouldn't really matter all that much. You don't really like him, but you did enjoy his continuous pursue of you. Not that it would matter, because you did blew him off after his "neediness".

 

Yes he was needy but you didn't make it a point in telling him that you wanted to take things slow, instead you blew him off completely. So the only logical action for him to do was ignore you.

 

Now you want his attention? I think you need to stop looking back on the need to play with this man's emotion any further; because more likely you've became the pawn in your own little game.

[Federica]

I think everyone has admirably made their point. And all are in agreement.

As the OP has not posted for a short while, I believe we can leave it here.